Take One Wednesday with a Glass of Water

From the picture above, I think Nancy Pelosi will soon have a lot more to worry about than just a couple of swollen glands.

---Or maybe she's just checking the adhesive on her face tape.

---After her torturous week, I've seen her future. There's a bag of clothes pins and a big bottle of Fab.

---If you're just two exhales away from the President, how can you tell anybody you didn't know anything about waterboarding with a straight face?

---Of course, from the picture above, I don't think Nancy can do anything with a straight face.

---Bye bye, Nancy. What time does the canasta game start?

---And what's all this fuss about torture? Nobody was complaining about what Siegfried was doing to Maxwell Smart years ago?

---And, if everybody is worried about inhumane treatment, why is "The View" still on the air?

---I'll repeat what my mom used to say when I got dunked at the beach.

---"It's only water."

---I love these handwringers who talk about America needing to be above the fray and not be barbarians like everybody else.

---Uh-huh. Like that would have worked on the "Little Rascals" when Alfalfa was getting beat up.

---"Hey, Butch, can you be above the fray and not be a barbarian like everybody else."

---I'd probably start hitting him harder.

---And, by the way, let's have a show of hands. Who wants to see Nancy Pelosi waterboarded?

---Wow, folks. I can't count that fast.

---Let's face it. If people hate us and want to hurt us, do we simply take it?

---I'm reminded of this Muslim woman who came to talk at my church a few years ago. She told us all how America is the only one to ever use weapons of mass destruction and we should be ashamed of that.

---Huh??? Lady, if we don't do that during World War II, there is no way you have a sniff of this country.

---If we didn't finish the clean up then, this broad's probably still out in the desert, beating her laundry against a rock with her husband's other four wives.

---Meanwhile, on that day, this bitch drove up to the church in her Lexus.

---Uh-huh, America is a very, very bad country.

---Bottom line: bring on the ten gallon tank. And have it boiling, please.

---The real torture this year has been watching American Idol. With shows that run too long, judges who talk too much, and contestants with way too much make-up.

---And that's the guys.

---This year's Idol anthem was written by judge Kara DioGuardi and about ten of her friends. If you put music to today's blog post, you'd have a better song.

---The competition of the two finalists mirror the class divide in our country. Red state vs. Blue state. The country bumpkin vs. the Goth homosexual. The local paperboy vs. some guy who styles his hair like Joey Heatherton.

---I guess the way the vote turns out will be the true national referendum on Obama's first 100 days.

Dinner last night: Turkey and bacon club sandwich.