Friday, May 22, 2009

Your Holiday Weekend Movie Guide - May 2009


If you think this is a nifty looking movie theater, keep in mind that it's gone. Well, not really gone gone. But divided up into three smaller rooms in what is now the Bronxville Cinema. One of my favorite places to see a movie when I was in college. And, as multiplexes go, the Bronxville Cinema remains as one of the less obnoxious. But, still. Look how glorious it used to be.

Here we go again. Len flips through the entertainment pages of the LA Times and gives his knee-jerk reaction to what's playing this weekend. And what shouldn't be playing this weekend. Good luck and godspeed to all of us. This is shaping up to be a horrible cinematic summer.

Star Trek: Already discussed on this blog. I enjoyed it if you suspend all logic and intelligence. Worth the price of admission. You could do a lot worse. And will if you read on...

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: The title alone is a nightmare for me. The movie featuring that lunkhead Matthew McConaughey is probably a nightmare for everybody.

The Soloist: The trailer for this has been running in theaters since 2006. Never a good sign. It looks incredibly sappy. Even Robert Downey Jr. fans are avoiding it.

Angels & Demons: What did the Catholic Church ever do to Ron Howard? Was he at one time an altar boy? Frankly, the Dan Brown books are unreadable. I read "The DeVinci Code" and swore off fiction for life. That became a horrible movie and so apparently is this. I am hearing that Tom Hanks is sorely miscast. Indeed, these days, Hanks' perfect role would be that of the whale in "Moby Dick."

Terminator Salvation: There is none in California given the way that Arnold's tax propositions were soundly rejected this week. I hope he sees this movie because he will be available to do the next one.

Easy Virtue: Certainly nobody I know. Sadly.

O'Horten: A train engineer retires after 40 years. The Bucket List if it were shot on Metro North.

The Girlfriend Experience: Director Steven Soderbergh looks at the life of a $10,000-a-night escort. Also certainly nobody I know. Regretfully.

Dance Flick: A Black comedy and I'm not talking about dark humor. Dancing with the Homies.

Every Little Step: Reviewed here previously. A documentary about "A Chorus Line." God, I hope you see it. And I hope you get it. You really get it.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Please let Hollywood run out of comic books soon. Unless, of course, we're going to get to see a Cyborg version of Little Lulu.

Management: Four words that automatically translate to a bad script. "Jennifer Aniston Romantic Comedy."

Tyson: A documentary on the punch-drunk boxer. When was the last time you spent ninety minutes with somebody who can't read?

Night at the Museum/Battle of the Smithsonian: I hasten to admit that I saw the first one and enjoyed every minute of it. But, I am guessing what was bright and original in the first one will be dull and repetitive in the second one.

Obsessed: A Black drama and I'm not talking about a mood. A low income housing version of Fatal Attraction.

17 Again: Isn't that 34?

Earth: Saving the planet one polar bear at a time. Only interesting to me if one of them eats Al Gore.

The Boys: The Sherman Brothers Story: A documentary about the famed Disney songwriters and where is the ticket buyers line, please?

The Brothers Bloom: Why is that, when I think of Adrien Brody, I don't automatically think "comedy?" Yet, when I look at Adrien Brody, I laugh hysterically. Please send in your theories.

Next Day Air: FedEx comes to Harlem.

Folks, it's slim pickings and I am not talking about the actor.

Dinner last night: Sausage pizza at Maria's Italian Kitchen.

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