Thursday, June 2, 2011

No Dummies Here

In a holiday weekend full of Hollywood crap bringing us drunken binges in Bangkok and pirates on the high seas with a computer-generated monkey, one of the movies I went out to see was a little documentary called "Dumbstruck."

There is no better choice for your movie theater dollars.  And for your insanity.  This film requires you have a brain.  And lots and lots of heart.  Because the story will make you laugh and cry and realize that you wish you hadn't thrown that Jerry Mahoney dummy in the garbage years ago.

Okay, truth be told.  I still have Jerry's head.  It's sitting on a bookcase in my New York apartment.  Only because I haven't figured out how to get it to Los Angeles without raising the eyebrows of Homeland Security.

But I digress...

When I was a kid, I did fancy myself as a future ventriloquist.  Or, as they are called in the movie, "vents."  Of course, I could throw my voice about as far as the end of a pencil.  Jerry Mahoney, for me, became a silent play toy.  I can remember to this day when his arm fell off.  Out came Grandma's needle and thread.  She took him onto the kitchen table for "surgery."  Sadly, my grandmother wasn't around to help when Jerry's head went the way of Anne Boleyn and Jayne Mansfield.  So ended my career as a "vent."

The hopes and dreams of others, however, continue on.  As documented in "Dumbstruck," the fates and fortunes of five ventriloquists are detailed in all their happiness and pain.  You meet them first at the annual ventriloquist convention held in Vent Haven, Kentucky.  You follow each of them for the next year.  For one or two, it's smooth sailing.  For others, their lives are unfortunately manipulated as if they are puppets themselves.

Kim is a former beauty pageant queen whose winning talent contribution was a conversation with her "dummy" Bertha.  Kim's held off on life, love, and a future because all she wants to do is crack the lucrative cruise ship circuit, where a ventriloquist can thrive for years.  Kim enlists the aid of a ventriloquism manager who will craft her next career move.  Meanwhile, her mom simply wants her to settle down and stop playing with "those things."

But, the high seas may not be all it's cracked up to be for a dummy and his friend.  Dan has been doing the cruise ships for years and making a good living at it.  The only problem is that his absence for six months at a time has pretty much killed his 25-year-old marriage.

Dylan is a 14-year-old hayseed whose puppet is Black and that's Dad's major worry about his son.  Dylan is trying to sell his performing wares to a traveling circus, whose manager must sadly tell the kid that he has no real act.

Then there's Wilma, an old broad (?) shunned by family and friends because they are ashamed of her hobby and perhaps the fact that she looks like an accident that happened at the transgendering factory.  She's ready to lose her house for back taxes and the only people who will help her are her fellow "vents."

The biggest success that is spotlighted would be Terry Fator.  Having toiled in the lowest of the low venues for years, Terry gets his big break when he enters and wins "America's Got Talent."  As a result, he wins a contract with a Vegas casino.  Terry's now one of the highest paid performers in town and the benchmark for all "vents" to achieve.  More importantly, despite his sudden good fortune, Terry remains a good guy and donates money to keep the ventriloquism museum solvent.  Hell, who knew there was such a thing?

Who, in fact, knew there were so many "vents" out there?  With great stories to tell in their own words or from the mouths of their "children."  "Dumbstruck" is fascinating from start to finish.  When you sit there for ninety minutes engrossed in some dummies up on the screen, you realize it could have been a lot worse.

You could be sitting in an audience with all the dummies who blankly stared at a screen showing the likes of "Thor," "Pirates of the Caribbean 4," or "The Hangover - Part 2."  Those are the real dummies around here. 

And, ultimately, they have nothing to say.

Dinner last night:  Polish sausage at the Dodger game.

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