Wednesday, August 10, 2011

This Date in History - August 10


I've got the monopoly on history today.

610:  MUHAMMAD BEGINS TO RECEIVE THE QUR'AN.

Delivered every morning just like the New York Times.

955:  HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR OTTO I DEFEATS THE MAGYARS, ENDING 50 YEARS OF MAGYAR INVASION.

In some circles, history is divided into pre-Magyars and post-Magyars.

1519:  FERDINAND MAGELLAN'S FIVE SHIPS SET SAIL FROM SEVILLE TO CIRCUMNAVIGATE THE GLOBE.

And little did he know was that his main claim to fame would be a car navigation system named after him.

1675:  THE FOUNDATION STONE OF THE ROYAL GREENWICH OBSERVATORY IN LONDON IS LAID.

Even stones remember their first time.

1776:  WORD OF THE UNITED STATES DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE REACHES LONDON.

That's one freakin' slow post office.

1792:  DURING THE FRENCH REVOLUTION, LOUIS XVI OF FRANCE IS ARRESTED AND TAKEN INTO CUSTODY.

The king is captured.  Doesn't that end the chess game?

1793:  THE LOUVRE IS OPENED IN PARIS.

Everybody exit through the gift shop.

1821:  MISSOURI IS ADMITTED AS THE 24TH U.S. STATE.

If you insist...

1846:  THE SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION IS CHARTERED BY THE UNITED STATES CONGRESS AFTER JAMES SMITHSON DONATES $500,000.

The original tax deduction.

1874:  PRESIDENT HERBERT HOOVER IS BORN.

Just like the vacuum, he sucked.

1889:  CHARLES DARROW, THE CREATOR OF MONOPOLY, IS BORN.

Collecting $200 as he passes Go.

1898:  ACTOR JACK HALEY IS BORN.

He said "oil can."

1905:  THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR PEACE NEGOTIATIONS BEGIN IN PORTSMOUTH, NEW HAMPSHIRE.

How the hell did they wind up over there?

1923:  ACTRESS RHONDA FLEMING IS BORN.

I wanted her to be my mother.

1928:  SINGER EDDIE FISHER IS BORN.

I did not want him to be my father.

1932:  RIN TIN TIN DIES.

Lassie was questioned by the police.

1948:  CANDID CAMERA MAKES ITS TELEVISION DEBUT AFTER BEING ON RADIO FOR A YEAR.

Candid Camera on the radio?  I can't understand why that didn't work.

1963:  POLITICIAN ESTES KEFAUVER DIES.

Mentioned here only because my grandmother would say "bastard" when she heard his name on TV.

1969:  A DAY AFTER MURDERING SHARON TATE AND FOUR OTHERS, THE CHARLES MANSON CULT KILL LENO AND ROSEMARY LABIANCA.

I guess mass murders are like Chinese food.  A day later, you want to kill all over again.

1971:  THE SOCIETY OF AMERICAN BASEBALL RESEARCH IS FOUNDED IN COOPERSTOWN, NEW YORK.

And we wind up with tons of stats that have confused us ever since.

1977:  IN YONKERS, NEW YORK, DAVID BERKOWITZ IS ARRESTED FOR THE "SON OF SAM" MURDERS.

Five years later, I was living less than two blocks away.  How's that for useless trivia?

1981:  THE HEAD OF JOHN WALSH'S SON, ADAM, IS FOUND.

And just what do you do with THAT?

1990:  THE MAGELLAN SPACE PROBE REACHES VENUS.

Hey, no fair, history books!  I already used my one and only Magellan joke.

1995:  OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBERS TIMOTHY MCVEIGH AND TERRY NICHOLS ARE INDICTED FOR THE BOMBING.

How does the song go?  "Let's lock the door and throw away the key..."

2008:  MUSICIAN ISAAC HAYES DIES.

The ultimate shaft.

Dinner last night:  The pre-game buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Grandma does get in there.