I don't, you know. But, if I did, here's what I would have tweeted this past month.
#LenSpeaks When you are working from home, you have no idea how often the phone rings during the day.
#LenSpeaks I can have my air ducts cleaned.
#LenSpeaks Gutters unclogged.
#LenSpeaks Termites exterminated. The only thing I can't find is somebody to stop these damn calls.
#LenSpeaks PS, I am on the "Do Not Call" list. Which is about as ridiculous as saying that your Social Security checks will be kicking in around 2025.
#LenSpeaks Had a phone solicitation from the Alzheimer's Foundation on a Saturday morning at 830AM. I asked them if they had forgotten what time it was.
#LenSpeaks Even on early Saturday mornings, I still got it.
#LenSpeaks Who shot JR this time?
#LenSpeaks I am hoping it was Joe Biden. A win win.
#LenSpeaks Michelle Obama is on vacation again. From what? Unless it does a forty hour work week to put on and take off wigs.
#LenSpeaks I actually got a letter from Nancy Pelosi asking me to donate money to the Democratic Party. I should send her back a link to this blog.
#LenSpeaks Oh, wait! There is white smoke. We have a new Pope!
#LenSpeaks Yesterday there was black smoke. I burned a tray of sugar cookies.
#LenSpeaks I wonder what they are burning in the Vatican to get all this smoke. And how many children are in those photos?
#LenSpeaks For a few days, the cardinals were deadlocked. I guess the guys from Ohio and Florida are forced to break the tie.
#LenSpeaks Waiting for the new Pope to appear. Karl Rove is not ready to concede. He is stll crunching the numbers.
#LenSpeaks Why the heck am I watching this TV coverage? I'm not Catholic.
#LenSpeaks All TV channels have switched to Papal coverage. Even HGTV. Just in case the new guy wants renovations to the Pope's bathroom.
#LenSpeaks If the new Pope is Black, we could have a scene re-enactment from Blazing Saddles. Gabby Johnson announcing that "the new Pope is a.....GONG!"
#LenSpeaks The Vatican has a military band? Who are they fighting? Presbyterians??
#LenSpeaks A delay in announcing the new Pope. Probably going over papers with Vatican HR.
#LenSpeaks "What do you mean there's no profitsharing plan?"
#LenSpeaks "I gotta work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day??? Do I get two floating holidays instead?"
#LenSpeaks And here he comes from behind the curtains like Johnny Carson. Francis...the talking Pope.
#LenSpeaks These factoids about him are ridiculous. He's from Argentina and likes long walks on the beach.
#LenSpeaks His favorite TV show is Two and a Half Men. He likes to cuddle with the Vatican-approved Snuggie.
#LenSpeaks The new Pope is 76. Which means the Vatican is the only place that is hiring anybody over the age of 55.
#LenSpeaks It's amazing how much time you can waste on the computer waiting for the new Pope.
#LenSpeaks Heading to NY. My American Idle tour stops there for a week.
#LenSpeaks I feel totally safe on American Airlines. No terrorists want to watch NBC prime time programming.
#LenSpeaks Now I feel totally secure in this country. President Obama has selected his NCAA brackets.
#LenSpeaks Same sex marriage. I know married friends who complain they have the same damn sex all the time.
Dinner last night: Beef and pork lasagna from Gelson's.
Friday, March 29, 2013
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