Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Morons of the Month - April 2013

That's the Padres' Carlos Quentin getting tossed out of last Thursday night's game against the Dodgers.  You may have heard about this brawl.  Quentin, who's notorious for crowding the plate and being hit by a pitch, got plunked by Dodger hurler Zack Greinke.   Carlos charged the mound and this led to a melee that saddled Greinke with a broken collarbone and a disabled stint of about two months.

Meanwhile, the gutless and moronic Quentin got suspended for eight games and chose not to appeal the sentence.  So, conveniently, he's not in Dodger Stadium these days as the Padres travel north from San Diego.  A good idea to duck the Chavez Ravine fans who would like to send him back south in a body bag.

So you might be thinking something like...

"Gee, Len, isn't that a rather obvious choice to be the April moron?"

Of course it is.  My candidate for stupidity this fine month is, alas, not Carlos Quentin.  Even though he deserves every miserable moment he get over the rest of his baseball career.

Not a moron, though.

Indeed, the bench-clearing brawl last week did prompt some other reactions.  And brought a few other imbeciles to the forefront.  Specifically, a couple of idiots who sent him some "Letters to the Sports Editor" to the Los Angeles Times.

Okay, let's layer in some story first.  I'm always ultra-suspicious of anybody who spends their days commenting on current events by dropping an e-mail or a note to their local newspaper.  Check any daily journal.  Look at the page where letters are featured.  If you follow the same habit for a few weeks, you will notice the same names popping up day in and day out.

I'm thinking folks with absolutely nothing to do.  Perhaps with lives of complete isolation.  The only way they can be listened to is if they sent constant letters to the local newspaper.

You'll also notice over time that most of these dopes have very little to say.  Or have knee-jerk reactions that a normal person would never come to if they took at least thirty seconds to reason or think logically.

There's a cadre of idiots who write daily to the Los Angeles Times sports page.  If these fools lived in New York City, they would be instead calling WFAN-AM regularly to bitch about the Mets or the Knicks.  But they're in Los Angeles and need to continually complain about the Dodgers or the Lakers.

Two days after the Quentin-Greinke dust-up, the Times ran a bunch of notes from these folks who are disgruntled with both sports and probably their lives. I couldn't help but notice how stupid and uneducated their comments were.  I will print them in full here.  And you will also note that, with much consternation, I am not including their full names here.  But, heck, I should.  If you want to send something to a public forum and use your whole name, you need to be prepared for people like me to take a whack at the pinata that is your existence.

For instance, here's Larry from Quartz Hill.

San Diego Padres player Carlos Quentin breaks Zack Greinke's collarbone after being hit by a pitch.  But let us see what Carlos Quentin really is: a criminal who admits that he was settling an old score.  It was not just a fight in the heat of the moment.  I would be facing prosecution from the district attorney for such actions.  Unfortunately, such thugs who are professional athletes often get a pass on criminal behavior, particularly if they hide their criminal actions within the confines of a ballpark.

Huh?  I don't think there was a premeditated moment here.  Sure, Quentin admits to past history with Greinke.  But, come on, this does happen in baseball.  I can only imagine how Bob Gibson or Don Drysdale would have reacted to Quentin in the same situation.  Meanwhile, OJ Simpson kept his criminal actions off the football field and he got a similar pass.  Some people just think too much...and come up with so little.

Wait, here's Riley from Los Angeles....

"Zack Greinke got what he deserved.  He has thrown at Carlos Quentin before and it was clearly retaliation for the brushback pitch to Matt Kemp.  Greinke gets paid $147 million because he can get people out.  He does not care if he has to put a runner on base.  It is all about ego.  The league needs to suspend pitchers for this before someone gets killed.

It was a 3-2 pitch with none out in the sixth inning of a one-run game.  Greinke had a variety of better spots if he wanted to be a headhunter.  Riley's probably also spending time sending letters to the Op Ed page about gun control laws, too.

Bob from Arcadia says....

Urgent message to Zack Greinke.  The next time Carlos Quentin, the most "hit" batter in baseball, charges the mound.  Have a red cape handy and know how to use it.

Okay, Bob's not contributing a stupid remark.  But he's attempting a joke that I hope he didn't bother submitting to Jay Leno either.  Weak.

Spike from Lompoc chimes in...

I guess I'm just old school.  I thought that it was always an unwritten but hard-fast rule of baseball that it's the $500,000 catcher's job to get between the hit batter and his $150 million pitcher!  The Dodgers should trade AJ Ellis for someone savvy and tough, or this may happen again.

I've been a baseball fan most of my life.  I have never heard of this unwritten rule.  And I wonder if Spike would be equally as agile if he was running after a 240 pound man while wearing almost 50 pounds of catching gear.

Lastly, there's Ken from Los Angeles.

In hearing Don Mattingly's restrained comments after the game, I wondered what Tommy Lasorda would have said if he was asked what he thought of Carlos Quentin's performance.

Um, I saw Donny Baseball's post-game interview and he was clearly angry.  What?  He didn't pepper his remarks with "fuck this" and "fuck that?"  Meanwhile, after Tommy's tirade which would have accomplished nothing, his next comment would have been "I've got reservations for Vitello's.  Let's go."

Okay, maybe I could have had a field day lambasting Carlos Quentin.  But wasn't this more fun?  

Except, in retrospect, I should be enjoying the notion that people can still write to their local newspaper.  Those that still exist.

Dinner last night: Leftover chicken sausage and vegetables.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Spike from Lompoc sounds like a W.C. Fields character or a former caller to Larry King.