286: EMPEROR DIOCLETIAN ELEVATES HIS GENERAL MAXIMIAN TO CO-EMPEROR WITH THE RANK OF AUGUSTUS AND GIVES HIM CONTROL OVER THE WESTERN DIVISION OF THE ROMAN EMPIRE.
I wonder how many times the Western Division plays the Eastern and Central Divisions.
325: CROWN PRINCE JIM CHENGDI, AGE 4, SUCCEEDS HIS FATHER AS EMPEROR OF THE EASTERN JIN DYNASTY.
No age requirement there.
457: MAJORIAN IS ACCLAIMED EMPEROR BY THE ROMAN ARMY.
The majorian rules.
527: BYZANTINE EMPEROR JUSTIN 1 NAMES HIS NEPHEW JUSTINIAN I AS CO-RULER.
Justin time.
1318: BERWICK-UPON-TWEED IS CAPTURED BY THE SCOTTISH FROM ENGLAND.
How about Berwick-Upon-Polyester and Wool Blend?
1572: IN THE EIGHTY YEARS WAR, THE WATERGEUZEN CAPTURE BRIELLE FROM THE SPANIARDS, GAINING THE FIRST FOOTHOLD ON LAND FOR WHAT WOULD BECOME THE DUTCH REPUBLIC.
There's a Brielle in New Jersey. I don't think this is the same one.
1789: IN NEW YORK CITY, THE US HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES HOLDS ITS FIRST QUORUM AND ELECTS FREDERICK MUHLENBERG OF PENNSYLVANIA AS ITS FIRST HOUSE SPEAKER.
Back when House Speakers had a brain in their heads.
1854: CHARLES DICKENS' NOVEL "HARD TIMES" BEGINS SERIALIZATION.
How about "Fast Times?" At Ridgemont High?
1865: THE BATTLE OF FIVE FORKS DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WARS.
I guess forks can kill just as much as knives.
1883: ACTOR LON CHANEY SR. IS BORN.
The Man of a Thousand Faces. As opposed to Nancy Pelosi, who only had five.
1887: THE MUMBAI FIRE BRIGADE IS ESTABLISHED.
Slumdog Fireman.
1891: THE WRIGLEY COMPANY IS FOUNDED IN CHICAGO.
Chew on that for a while.
1893: THE RANK OF CHIEF PETTY OFFICER IN THE US NAVY IS ESTABLISHED.
That's so...well...petty.
1922: WRITER WILLIAM MANCHESTER IS BORN.
Birth of a Writer.
1924: ADOLF HITLER IS SENTENCED TO FIVE YEARS IN JAIL FOR HIS PARTICIPATION IN THE BEER HALL PUTSCH. HOWEVER, SHE SPENDS ONLY NINE MONTHS IN JAIL, DURING WHICH HE WRITES MEIN KAMPF.
Dumbest guy in the world? The guard who opened the prison door and let him out.
1924: THE ROYAL CANADIAN AIR FORCE IS FORMED.
Good. In case we're attacked from the North.
1929: ACTRESS JANE POWELL IS BORN.
Still with us. And married to a former Little Rascal Dickie Moore.
1932: ACTRESS DEBBIE REYNOLDS IS BORN.
Mother of Princess Leia.
1933: THE RECENTLY ELECTED NAZIS UNDER JULIUS STREICHER ORGANIZE A ONE-DAY BOYCOTT OF ALL JEWISH-OWNED BUSINESSES IN GERMANY, USHERING IN A SERIES OF ANTI-SEMITIC ACTS.
That series will unfortunately be long running.
1934: NEW YORK MET ROD KANEHL IS BORN.
Hot Rod!
1937: DURING THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR, SPAIN IS BOMBED BY NAZI FORCES.
So they hated the Spaniards, too.
1939: ACTRESS ALI MCGRAW IS BORN.
Love means never having to say "happy birthday."
1939: GENERALISIMO FRANCISCO FRANCO OF THE SPANISH STATE ANNOUNCES THE END OF THE SPANISH CIVIL WAR.
Still dead in 2015.
1944: BASEBALL STAR RUSTY STAUB IS BORN.
Love his baby back ribs. Oh, and the baseball playing, too.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, UNITED STATES TROOPS LAND ON OKINAWA IN THE LAST MAJOR CAMPAIGN OF THE WAR.
Getting ready to say sayonara.
1949: THE GOVERNMENT OF CANADA REPEALS JAPANESE CANADIAN INTERNMENT.
The war's been over for four years. What took you so long?
1957: THE BBC BROADCASTS THE SPAGHETTI TREE HOAX.
The sequel was the Ravioli Plant Scandal.
1965: BUSINESSWOMAN HELENA RUBINSTEIN DIES.
No amount of eye shadow is going to cover this up.
1967: THE UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION BEGINS OPERATION.
Well, heck, how did people get around before this???
1970: PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON SIGNS THE PUBLIC HEALTH CIGARETTE SMOKING ACT INTO LAW, REQUIRING THE SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNINGS ON TOBACCO AND BANNING CIGARETTE ADS ON TV AND RADIO IN THE US, STARTING IN 1971.
Marlboro Man, you're on notice.
1976: APPLE INC IS FORMED.
I wonder how successful they will be.
1976: CONRAIL TAKES OVER OPERATIONS FROM SIX BANKRUPT RAILROADS IN THE NORTHEAST.
And proceeded to run them into the ground.
1979: IRAN BECOMES AN ISLAMIC REPUBLIC BY A 99% VOTE, OFFICIALLY OVERTHROWING THE SHAH.
Shah Na Na.
1984: SINGER MARVIN GAYE DIES.
We heard it through the grapevine.
1996: UMPIRE JOHN MCSHERRY DIES.
On Opening Day in Cincinnati, he was umpiring behind home plate and collapsed. Video exists.
2001: SAME-SEX MARRIAGE BECOMES LEGAL IN THE NETHERLANDS, THE FIRST CONTEMPORARY COUNTRY TO ALLOW IT.
Unless, of course, two guys get married and then the judge says....April Fools.
2004: GOOGLE ANNOUNCES GMAIL TO THE PUBLIC.
I have to tell you that it's a clunky e-mail system.
2010: ACTOR JOHN FORSYTHE DIES.
Bachelor Corpse.
Dinner last night: Prawns scampi at Palomino
1 comment:
McSherry was from the Bronx, and when he was in town he used to hang out at the pub I went to, and I sued to see him a couple of times a season. A big, brusque Irish guy and a man who would stand his round (look it up), but my God, he was enormous. To look at him was to wonder when that heart attack was coming. MLB, and the NL in particular, seemed to have a lot of really big umps (think Eric Gregg) -- and after he collapsed and died, I know some of them realized they'd better lose some weight or they would suffer the same fate. It's interesting to look at umps today -- I don't think McSherry would even get a second interview because of his size.
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