307: EMPEROR SEVERUS II IS CAPTURED AND IMPRISONED AT TRES TABERNAE. HE IS LATER EXECUTED.
That's a little severus, don't you think?
1400: OWAIN GLYNDWR IS DECLARED PRINCE OF WALES BY HIS FOLLOWERS.
Give that last name a vowel, please.
1620: PILGRIMS SET SAIL FROM ENGLAND ON THE MAYFLOWER.
Trying to beat the Thanksgiving traffic.
1776: THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION - THE BATTLE OF HARLEM HEIGHTS IS FOUGHT.
I hope they don't damage the Apollo Theater.
1810: WITH THE GRITO DE DOLORES, FATHER MIGUEL HIDALGO BEGINS MEXICO'S FIGHT FOR INDEPENDENCE FROM SPAIN.
Grito de Dolores? Does that come with guacamole?
1880: THE CORNELL DAILY SUN PRINTS ITS FIRST ISSUE IN ITHACA, NEW YORK. THE SUN IS THE NATION'S OLDEST, CONTINUOUSLY-INDEPENDENT COLLEGE DAILY.
As if college students are truly independent.
1908: THE GENERAL MOTORS CORPORATION IS FOUNDED.
Recall.
1914: TV DIRECTOR ALLEN FUNT IS BORN.
Smile.
1919: THE AMERICAN LEGION IS INCORPORATED.
Just what do they do besides march in your local Memorial Day parade?
1920: A BOMB IN A HORSE WAGON EXPLODES IN FRONT OF THE JP MORGAN BUILDING IN NEW YORK CITY AND KILLS 38 WHILE INJURING 400.
Not exactly an improvement - years later, terrorists use children instead of horses.
1924: ACTRESS LAUREN BACALL IS BORN.
You just know she was a bitch.
1927: ACTOR PETER FALK IS BORN.
Just one more question...
1934: ACTOR GEORGE CHAKIRIS IS BORN.
Take the Sharks over the Jets with the points.
1943: WORLD WAR II - THE ALLIED INVASION OF ITALY CONCLUDES WHEN HEINRICH VON VIETINGHOFF, COMMANDER OF THE GERMAN TENTH ARMY, ORDERS HIS TROOPS TO WITHDRAW FROM SALERNO.
Mr. Vietinghoff to you.
1945: WORLD WAR II - THE SURRENDER OF THE JAPANESE TROOPS IN HONG KONG IS ACCEPTED.
Who knows a notary public, please?
1949: ACTOR ED BEGLEY JR. IS BORN.
In his honor, take the bus today.
1955: THE MILITARY COUP TO UNSEAT PRESIDENT JUAN PERON OF ARGENTINA IS LAUNCHED AT MIDNIGHT.
Don't cry for me, yada yada yada.
1956: MAGICIAN DAVID COPPERFIELD IS BORN.
Presto.
1958: BASEBALL STAR OREL HERSHISER IS BORN.
Great baseball announcer, but, boy, did I hate him back in 1988.
1959: THE FIRST SUCCESSFUL PHOTOCOPIER, THE XEROX 914, IS INTRODUCED IN A LIVE TV DEMONSTRATION.
Somebody forgot to add paper.
1965: ANIMATOR FRED QUIMBY DIES.
I created Gumby, damn it.
1966: THE METROPOLITAN OPERA HOUSE OPENS AT LINCOLN CENTER IN NYC WITH THE WORLD PREMIERE OF SAMUEL BARBER'S "ANTONY AND CLEOPATRA."
What's the over/under that Tony Randall was in the audience that night?
1970: KING HUSSEIN OF JORDAN DECLARES MILITARY RULE FOLLOWING THE HIJACKING OF FOUR CIVILIAN AIRLINES BY THE POPULAR FRONT FOR THE LIBERATION OF PALESTINE.
Just in case you thought those dirtbags in 2001 were all that original.
1980: SAINT VINCENT AND THE GRENADINES JOIN THE UNITED NATIONS.
I think I saw them perform in Greenwich Village.
1992: THE TRIAL OF THE DEPOSED PANAMANIAN DICTATOR MANUEL NORIEGA ENDS IN THE US WITH A 40-YEAR SENTENCE FOR DRUG TRAFFICKING AND MONEY LAUNDERING.
Forty years too short.
2009: SINGER MARY TRAVERS DIES.
Peter, Paul, and Nobody.
2013: A GUNMAN KILLS TWELVE PEOPLE AT THE NAVY YARD IN WASHINGTON, DC.
Just so you realize that this kind of workplace violence will always exist.
Dinner last night: Leftover beef stew.
No comments:
Post a Comment