98; TRAJAN SUCCEEDED HIS ADOPTIVE FATHER NERVA AS ROMAN EMPEROR. UNDER HIS RULE, THE ROMAN EMPIRE WOULD REACH ITS MAXIMUM EXTENT.
The nerva.
1142: SONG DYNASTY GENERAL YUE FEI IS EXECUTED.
Fei? Feh.
1186: HENRY VI, THE SON AND HEIR OF THE HOLY ROMAN EMPEROR FREDERICK I, MARRIES CONSTANCE OF SICILY.
And we thought all the Henrys were in England.
1343: POPE CLEMENT VI ISSUES THE PAPAL BULL UNIGENITUS TO JUSTIFY THE POWER OF THE POPE AND THE USE OF INDULGENCES. NEARLY 200 YEARS LATER, MARTIN LUTHER WOULD PROTEST THIS.
Attaboy, Marty.
1593: THE VATICAN OPENS THE SEVEN-YEAR TRIAL OF SCHOLAR GIORDANO BRUNO.
Is it me or did the Vatican have a lot of corruption back when?
1606: GUNPOWDER PLOT - THE TRIAL OF GUY FAWKES AND OTHER CONSPIRATORS BEGINS, ENDING WITH THEIR EXECUTION ON JANUARY 31.
Well, they didn't hang around long. Unless, of course, they were executed by bullets.
1785: THE UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA IS FOUNDED, THE FIRST PUBLIC UNIVERSITY IN THE US.
Cheerleader auditions scheduled for the following week.
1825: THE US CONGRESS APPROVES INDIAN TERRITORY (IN WHAT IS NOW OKLAHOMA) CLEARING THE WAY FOR FORCED RELOCATION OF THE EASTERN INDIANS.
Yeah, that's going to work out well.
1880: THOMAS EDISON RECEIVES THE PATENT ON THE INCANDESCENT LAMP.
Now you can read in bed.
1888: THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC SOCIETY IS FOUNDED IN WASHINGTON, DC.
And gives us magazines to look at while waiting to see the eye doctor.
1905: ACTOR HOWARD MCNEAR IS BORN.
Oooh, Andy.
1908: PUBLISHER WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST JR. IS BORN.
Rosebud.
1909: THE YOUNG LEFT IS FOUNDED IN NORWAY.
Not to be confused with the Young Right. Or the Young Independents.
1918: BANDLEADER SKITCH HENDERSON IS BORN.
He was on the Tonight Show before there was a Doc Severinsen.
1936: ACTOR TROY DONAHUE IS BORN.
"Have you been bad with girls, Johnny?"
1943: WORLD WAR II - THE VIII BOMBER COMMAND DISPATCHED NINETY-ONE B-24S TO ATTACH NAZI U-BOAT CONSTRUCTION SITES IN GERMANY.
Boom.
1945: WORLD WAR II - THE RED ARMY LIBERATES THE REMAINED INMATES OF THE AUSCHWITZ-BIRKENAU CONCENTRATION CAMP IN POLAND.
Double boom.
1948: DANCER MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV IS BORN.
Yeah, I think he dances like...never...these days.
1961: SOVIET SUBMARINE S-80 SINKS WITH ALL HANDS LOST.
Legs, however, were found.
1967: ASTRONAUTS GUS GRISSOM, EDWARD WHITE, AND ROGER CHAFFEE ARE KILLED IN A FIRE DURING A TEST OF THEIR APOLLO 1 SPACECRAFT.
Huge setback at the time for the moon expedition.
1972: SINGER MAHALIA JACKSON DIES.
Praise the Lord.
1973: THE PARIS PEACE ACCORDS OFFICIALLY END THE VIETNAM WAR. COLONEL WILLIAM NOLDE IS KILLED IN ACTION, BECOMING THE LAST RECORDED CASUALTY OF THE WAR.
Not a distinction you want.
1984: SINGER MICHAEL JACKSON SUFFERS SECOND DEGREE BURNS TO HIS SCALP DURING THE FILMING OF A PEPSI COMMERCIAL.
Quick, somebody get him a painkiller.
1993: WRESTLER ANDRE THE GIANT DIES.
Timber!
1996: GERMANY FIRST OBSERVES INTERNATIONAL HOLOCAUST REMEMBRANCE DAY.
It's about time.
2004: TV HOST JACK PAAR DIES.
I kid you not.
2006: WESTERN UNION DISCONTINUES ITS TELEGRAM SERVICE.
Does anybody ever remember receiving a telegram???
2007: "I LOVE LUCY" WRITER BOB CARROLL JR. DIES.
One of those rare Wednesdays when I actually know somebody that I am writing about. A really nice man. He used to eat my writing partner's French fries.
2010: ACTRESS ZELDA RUBINSTEIN DIES.
"This house is clean."
2010: AUTHOR J.D. SALINGER DIES.
Everybody's favorite book report.
2011: ARAB SPRING - THE YEMENI REVOLUTION BEGINS AS OVER 16,000 PROTESTORS DEMONSTRATE.
There are idiots in this country who actually thought this was a good thing.
2011: COMIC CHARLIE CALLAS DIES.
Zoom. Zoom. A-zoom, zoom, zoom.
Dinner last night: Leftover beef and broccoli.
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