Len's Recipe of the Month - March 2022

 

For the first time ever, I made Beef Stroganoff, which usually comes in boil-in pouches from Stouffer's.   Don't judge me for cooking a Russian dish at this time in the world.  Indeed, somebody told me that its origins just might be the Ukraine.  Whatever.  Simply cook and enjoy.   I mean, let's face it, there are idiot New Yorkers who are boycotting the Russian Tea Room...whose owners are not Russian.

Anyway, this dish comes from America's Test Kitchen and you do it all in one Dutch oven.   Easy on clean-up and no need to light the oven.

First off, take about one cup of cleaned and sliced mushrooms.   I used Baby Bellas.   Heat a tablespoon of vegetable oil in said Dutch oven and then cook the mushrooms for about five minutes.   Remove to a bowl.

Chop an onion and several cloves of garlic.   Add another tablespoon of oil to the Dutch oven and saute them together for about five to seven minutes.

Add one pound of ground beef.   Use 85% lean for the best flavor.   Brown it all together for about five minutes or until the beef is brown.

Add three tablespoons of flour to the pot.  This will help thicken the sauce later on.

Use 1/2 cup of white wine to deglaze the bits on the bottom of the pan.   Now add four cups of beef broth.  ATK uses chicken broth, but I think the switch makes it heartier.  Let this all boil.

Then add a 8 to 12 ounce package of egg noodles.   Cooking them in the same pot will allow them to soak up the tasty gravy.   Let this simmer for 20 minutes.

You're almost done.

Stir in a 1/2 cup of sour cream.   ATK tells you to top it with chopped chives.  I didn't have any.   What are you going to do?  Bomb my village?

Da.

Dinner last night:  Beef noodle soup.

This Date in History - March 30

 

It's Peter Marshall's special day.  X gets the blog.

240 BC:  FIRST RECORDED PASSAGE OF HALLEY'S COMET.

And there was a later passage spurred by two spoonfuls of Haley's MO.

1282:  THE PEOPLE OF SICILY REBEL AGAINST THE ANGEVIN KING CHARLES I, IN WHAT BECOMES KNOWN AS THE SICILIAN VESPERS.

Soon it was King Charles Minus 1.

1296:  EDWARD I SACKS BERWICK-UPON-TWEED, DURING ARMED CONFLICT BETWEEN SCOTLAND AND ENGLAND.

Tweed's too warm a material for the spring anyway.

1725:  2ND PERFORMANCE OF JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACH'S ST. JOHN PASSION.

At some point doing these history lessons, I am sure we will learn the date of the first performance of Johann Sebastian Bach's St. John Passion.

1822:  THE FLORIDA TERRITORY IS CREATED IN THE UNITED STATES.

Prior to this, old Jewish people would migrate to New Jersey for the winter.

1842:  ANESTHESIA IS USED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN AN OPERATION BY DR. CRAWFORD LONG.

100, 99, 98,...........Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

1844:  ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BATTLES OF THE DOMINICAN WAR OF INDEPENDENCE FROM HAITI TAKES PLACE NEAR THE CITY OF SANTIAGO DE LOS CABALLEROS.

Now I'm waiting for the United States battle for independence from Haiti.  It will take place on Katonah Avenue in the Bronx.

1853:  PAINTER VINCENT VAN GOGH IS BORN.

"That's funny.  He had two ears when I got him."

1858:  HYMEN LIPMAN PATENTS A PENCIL WITH AN ATTACHED ERASER.

And gave nervous students something to chew on during final exams.

1863:  DANISH PRINCE WILHELM GEORG IS CHOSEN AS KING GEORGE OF GREECE.

A Danish guy running Greece?  Who screwed this one up?

1867:  ALASKA IS PURCHASED FROM RUSSIA FOR $7.2 MILLION BY UNITED STATES SECRETARY OF STATE WILLIAM H. SEWARD.

The price would have been higher but they made us take Sarah Palin as part of the deal.

1870:  TEXAS IS READMITTED TO THE UNION FOLLOWING RECONSTRUCTION.

And who screwed this one up??

1909:  THE QUEENSBORO BRIDGE OPENS, LINKING MANHATTAN AND QUEENS.

It's been jammed ever since.

1913:  SINGER FRANKIE LAINE IS BORN.

Rawhide!!!

1927:  TV HOST PETER MARSHALL IS BORN.

For years on the Hollywood Squares, nobody knew if he owned pants.

1937:  ACTOR WARREN BEATTY IS BORN.

And was out on a date the very next night.

1940:  JAPAN DECLARES NANKING CAPITAL OF A NEW CHINESE PUPPET GOVERNMENT.

Kukla, Fran, and Orrie.

1954:  THE FIRST CANADIAN SUBWAY LINE OPENS IN TORONTO.

Now Canadian homeless people finally have a place to sleep.

1965:  A CAR BOMB EXPLODES IN FRONT OF THE US EMBASSY, SAIGON, KILLING 22 AND WOUNDING 183 OTHERS.

Reason # 456 why we had no business in this war.

1968:  SINGER CELINE DION IS BORN.

And decent pop music dies.

1970:  SECRETARIAT IS BORN.

And when that thing came out, you know it had to hurt.

1972:  THE EASTER OFFENSIVE BEGINS AFTER NORTH VIETNAMESE FORCES CROSS INTO THE DMZ OF SOUTH VIETNAM.

Reason # 723 why we had no business in this war.

1980:  MY GOOD FRIEND, THE BIBSTER, MARRIES MRS. BIBSTER.

I was the only sober one at our reception table.  I offer a photo as evidence.  I'm just saying.

1981:  PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN IS SHOT IN THE CHEST OUTSIDE A WASHINGTON, DC HOTEL BY JOHN HINCKLEY JR.

You couldn't rent a copy of Taxi Driver for weeks afterward.

1986:  ACTOR JAMES CAGNEY DIES.

Sheer class and talent.  Watch him in Yankee Doodle Dandy at least once a year.

1999:  COMEDIAN GARY MORTON DIES.

Comedian?  I guess you can't list "occupation" as "Lucille Ball's second husband."

2004:  BRITISH JOURNALIST ALISTAIR COOKE DIES.

Masterpiece Casket.

2020:  SINGER BILL WITHERS DIES.

Ain't no sunshine....for sure.

2021:  NIXON AIDE G. GORDON LIDDY DIES.

Once told my writing partner that he could kill somebody with a Bic pen.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

The Late Saul and Heshe Talk The Oscars

Longtime readers here will remember there were some years early on where we would eavesdrop on a conversation between Hollywood veterans Saul and Heshe as they chatted about the Oscars at their favorite Los Angeles deli.   Well, they passed on a while back.   But, there's damn good WiFi in Heaven.   And, boy, do they have a lot to say.

"Hello?   So, where's your cloud?"

"I'm over there with Jane Russell and Shelley Winters.   You?"

"I'm with the wife's family.   Could never ditch 'em for the high holidays.   Now I'm stuck forever."

"It's not so bad here.  The pastrami is lean.  And you get the soda directly from the real Dr. Brown."

"So, what was it that got you, pardon the expression."

"Eh, I got the C."

"Cancer."

"No, COVID.  I got so confused with those facockta masks.   I used to wear mine over my eyes like Arlene Francis guessing the mystery guest on What's My Line."

"Oy vey iz mir.   The ticker got me.   At Canter's.   Face down into the rice pudding."

"Oy."

"It's a bracha we didn't stick around for that social distancing.  Six feet apart, oy."

"Except Uncle Miltie could still manage to give a lady a tickle even at that distance."

"God bless."

"We ain't missing anything.   Plus they got all these rivers up here to watch."

"You mean streams."

"Tomato, tomatoe.  Thank God we get TCM and I can still look at Debra Paget."

"They had the Oscars last night.  Did you watch?"

"Yes and now we can kvetch.   What's with those three women hosting?   Two of them schvatz.   I heard Bob Hope all the way over here."

"And they don't play movie music anymore?  They use some schlemiel playing records?"

"They should have just had a jukebox and bring enough quarters for the crowd."

"It used to be such a big deal...the Oscars.  Until all those fressers got involved."

"What's with all the schvatz?   I haven't seen that many since the opening cast call for King Kong."

"Back then, if you were schvatz and your agent didn't get you a part in a Tarzan movie, you fire him."

"Oy."

"Nothing but pishers running the business.   Into the ground."

"Did you see any of the nominees?"

"Only a few.  Bill Holden stole some of my screeners."

"It's all garbage.  But I'm glad that deaf movie won because I can't hear so good either."

"And there was a fight on stage.  That Will Smith slapped Chris Rock."

"You can't take them anywhere."

"Smith got mad because Rock made fun of his wife with the Yul Brynner look."

"That's a laugh because everybody know those two are fagilla.   He likes the boys and she likes the girls."

"They should have settled their argument like we used to in the old days.   In the Musso and Frank's parking lot."

"These altacockers can't even get that right."

"Woo and did you see Liza Minnelli?   Uh-oh, not good."

"She'll be here soon.  Start spreading the news."

"Wilkommen, bienvenue, welcome."

"Life is a cabaret.  Death is a casket."

"At least, Judy will be happy.   She's always over at Mickey Rooney's cloud.  He needs a break."

"I forgot how much fun it was to kibbitz with you."

"I'm always available.   And we've got nothing but time."

"Lots and lots and lots of time."

Dinner last night:   Leftover angel hair pasta and meatballs.

   

 

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 28, 2022

 Wrapping up our anniversary month with this classic.   Watch out for that TV.

Dinner last night:  Angel hair pasta and meatballs.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - An Oscar Sunday Tradition

 

Oscar Sunday!  I remember when people actually cared.   But, no more.  Not with streaming services and grand movie palaces closing their doors.   Like this one... 

I just love this photo.  It's one of my beloved childhood movie theaters.  RKO Proctor's in Mount Vernon, New York.  Doing some detective work, I can pin down the date of the snapshot.   There's obviously been a huge snow storm.   It's around Christmas time because you can see the wreath on the bank.   And "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" is played at the theater.   That film was released in the fall of 1947.   If you look at the weather records for New York, there was a huge blizzard on December 26.  So, I am guessing that's about when this photo was taken.

Memories are made from pictures like this.  

In the first year of this blog, I spent about 50 Sundays counting down my Top 25 Favorite Movies of All Time and my Top 25 Favorite TV Shows of All Time.  Heck, back in that day, I was new to this blogging thing and was looking to fill content every week and every day.  Since then, I've referenced some of these movies and TV shows from time to time.  When I reran the list in one single post several years ago, it resulted in the blog entry that is my second highest in all time hits.   Over 1100 as of yesterday.  

So, as we celebrate the magical world of films today, let's see my film one more time.

This week, let's see my Top 25 Favorite Movies...in ascending order:

25.  Since You Went Away

The ultimate movie on how a typical American family dealt with life on the World War II homefront.  A wonderful time capsule of the last time this nation was unified in a single cause.  I have to watch it every Christmas season. 

24.  Pillow Talk

The first Doris Day-Rock Hudson pairing and arguably the best.  Before there were cell phones, there were party lines.  Ridiculously innocent, but who cares?   Thelma Ritter steals every scene she's in as a boozy housekeeper.  And she appears on my list again in a similar role.

23.  White Christmas

It wouldn't be the holiday season without me popping this into the DVD player or, thanks to being in Los Angeles, seeing it on the big screen.  The movie I'm most likely to be watching on December 23 or 24.  Next time you watch it, pay close attention to Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen and see how they virtually steal the film away from old pros Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye.

22.  Marty

Completely shot in the Bronx and I could recognize locations where my parents would take me shopping when I was a kid.  A marvelous look at a single man and how he deals with perhaps finding the love of his life.  Ernest Borgnine's Oscar win and nobody deserved it more.  It looks, smells, and feel just like New York.  It won Best Picture of 1955.

21.  Radio Days

There are three Woody Allen movies I can watch over and over and over.  Annie Hall.  Manhattan.  Hannah and Her Sisters.  But the one that sings to me the most is his paean to growing up in the 30s and 40s when the radio was your family's sole source for nightly entertainment.  Wildly nostalgic and the scene where an aunt takes her small nephew to Radio City Music Hall for the first time makes me misty-eyed on every single viewing.

20.  One, Two, Three

Billy Wilder is my favorite film director and he shows up three times on my list.  But, this movie is one of his lesser known efforts but brilliant nonetheless.  James Cagney plays a Coca-Cola bottler in Berlin just before the Wall goes up.  A performance that is so funny and rapid-fire that it literally forced Cagney to go into retirement immediately thereafter.  He is talking the entire picture, but every line is a gem that's better than the last.

19.  Mildred Pierce

My earliest introduction to bitch slaps.  I first watched this with my mother one rainy Sunday afternoon when it aired on WNEW-TV Metromedia Channel 5.  Joan Crawford's finest moment on screen and Eve Arden sets the standard for the wise cracking girlfriend.  I wish people would slap each other like this in real life.

 

18.  Giant

As big as all of Texas, this saga of a ranching/oil drilling family could have been the genesis for TV's Dallas.  It's three hours long and doesn't feel it.  Rock Hudson and Elizabeth Taylor are simply marvelous, although the late James Dean is a trifle miscast.  Still, I got to see this on a big screen out in Los Angeles and it's the only way to enjoy this George Stevens masterpiece.

17.  City Lights

Charlie Chaplin's finest.  The tramp falls in love with a blind flower girl.  If that sounds a bit sappy, you're right.  Nobody tugs on the heartstrings better than Chaplin.  As thick as the schmaltz is layered, the final scene is the benchmark for all filmmakers who want their audiences to be bawling their eyes out as they leave the theater.  If you can ever see it in a theater with live orchestration, run, don't walk.

16.  The Band Wagon

Everybody says that Singin' in the Rain is MGM's greatest musical.  And, since it shows up on my list later on, maybe it is.  But The Band Wagon is no sloppy second.  Almost completely devoid of plot, the movie still keeps you riveted through every delightful production number.  Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse's "Dancing in the Park" routine is one of those film moments that I can't turn off when I run into the film on TV.  Watch the dance once with the sound turned down.  Even in silence, it's beautiful.

15.  Ben-Hur

The 1959 edition, folks.  My mom used to take me to all the Biblical epics, but, somehow, I missed this one.   I never saw it until New Year's Eve day, 1987.  I had suffered a hairline fracture of the shoulder the night before so I decided to rent the longest movie I could find at the video store.  Even on a Zenith 19 inch portable TV screen, this film was so deeply powerful, yet amazingly intimate at the same time.  I've since gotten to see it several times on a big screen.  Yes, gang, Charlton Heston can act.  But, Stephen Boyd as Massala does steal the picture.  It won Best Picture of 1959.

14.  Yankee Doodle Dandy

My very first movie addiction.  When I was really young, WOR-TV Channel 9 in New York ran the Million Dollar Movie.  The same picture ran every night and all day Saturday and Sunday for a week.   I think I watched every showing of this terrific biography of George M. Cohan.  Jimmy Cagney tapdancing down the stairs of the White House?  Legendary.

13.  It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World

When I was a kid, I gravitated to all the comedians that my grandmother used to love on television.  This was my very first exposure to the likes of Milton Berle, Sid Caesar, Mickey Rooney, Phil Silvers, and Buddy Hackett.  When this finally showed up at the Loews Theater in Mount Vernon, I think I went three times the next week.  And, when it later showed up on television, I watched it with my grandmother on her black and white Philco TV.  Meanwhile, as good as Grandma's favorites were in the movie, keep your eyes on "young" Jonathan Winters as he rules the screen every time the camera's on him.

12.  Bye Bye Birdie

This is the movie that jumpstarted my hormones at a very young age.  Ann-Margret.  Ann-Margret.  Ann-Margret.  Need I say more?  This played at the Loews Mount Vernon theater and I went five times in a single week.  And, in a rather bizarre display of crossed wires, the other main attraction for me in this film was Paul Lynde who I loved to imitate.  Years later, I should have been a lot more worried about myself than I was at the time.  When the movie soundtrack album came out with Ann-Margret on the cover....well, you don't really want to know what I did with that, do you?

 11.  The Best Years of Our Lives

Along with the aforementioned Since You Went Away, I was always fascinated by the impact that World War II had on the American homefront.  I have my grandmother and her own Sunday Memory Drawers to thank for that.  This film shows you what happened when those surviving GIs came home.  The scenes with Oscar winner Harold Russell...well, they had me hooked.  Wink wink.  It won Best Picture of 1947.

10.  Singin' In The Rain

The gold standard for MGM musicals from the 1950s.  So many moments that you can watch over and over and over.  Donald O'Connor making us laugh.  Debbie Reynolds saying Good Mornin'.  Gene Kelly showing us just how drip dry his pants really were.  I can watch this once a month and not be bored.  The new Blu Ray makes it look like the movie was produced last week.  Meanwhile, despite the star power of those mentioned above, Jean Hagen almost commits a Brinks Truck-like heist of the film with her portrayal of a musical comedy star who can't sing. 

9.  The Music Man

A different day and a different time.  Yes, the setting of this musical is the very innocent Midwest back at the turn of the century.  But, this film also marked a major life event for me.  It was the first time my parents let me go to the movies by myself.  I suppose neither one of them was interested in seeing it.  So, my father dropped me off at the RKO Proctor Theater in Mount Vernon, New York.  He squared it away with the usherette to watch over me and he picked me up exactly three hours later.  Originally, I saw "The Music Man" because my childhood hero was Ronny Howard.  But, this is perhaps the quintessential Broadway musical comedy and the screen adaptation is just as wonderful.

 

8.  Jaws

I saw it on the day it opened in June of 1975 in what had to be one of the oddest-shaped theaters ever built.  It was this bizarre bandbox on Fordham Road.  The theater was so rectangular that it gave you the illusion of watching a movie in a bowling alley.  Meanwhile, none of us knew where the scares were, so, at the end of two hours, we were scared shitless.  The glory of this movie is that, even if you've seen it over and over, it still works every time.  A few years back, the Aero Theater in Santa Monica ran it on a Saturday night.  The place was packed and parents were exposing their kids to it for the first time.  They didn't know where the scares were, so the screams were real and organic.  By the way, the Blu Ray edition which was just released makes the film look like it was filmed yesterday.

7.  The Bridge on the River Kwai

My father shepherded me to all the really important war films.  He really wanted to give me a sense of the vital moments in recent American history, as he had just lived through them himself.  So, when "Bridge" first ran on network television, I got to stay up to the ungodly hour of Sunday night 11:30PM to watch it.  Perhaps the most intimate of all war movies, I make this required viewing at least once every two years.  Oddly enough, I have never gotten to see it on a big screen and I am waiting anxiously for some classic theater here in Los Angeles to unspool it for me.  It won Best Picture of 1957. 

6.  Sons of the Desert

Laurel and Hardy's finest hour.   Well, hour and about fifteen minutes.  Whenever Stan and Ollie were on television, you'd find me and Grandma in front of the tube.  She talked frequently about one of their movies which she claims to have seen in an open air theater somewhere in the Bronx.  In it, they were selling Christmas trees and she said she never laughed harder in her life.  Frankly, I thought she made it all up until I finally saw said short on Turner Classic Movies.  She was right.  It was hilarious.  Meanwhile, "Sons of the Desert" is their finest feature-length movie.  The boys lie to their wives so they can go to a convention.  How simple a plot?  How glorious a movie!  It gave me one of the movie lines I have quoted most in my life.  "Honesty is the best politics."

5.  The Godfather

The last movie I went to see with my dad in an actual theater.  Now, I had read the Mario Puzo book as did all the boys in my neighborhood.  You read Page 27.   Over and over and over.  Sex education courtesy of the Mafia.  So, when the film came out, I couldn't wait to see how they put Page 27 on the big screen.   Imagine my horror when my own father, caught up by the film's frenzy, announced he wanted to take me to see it.  Ummm.  Er.  Ummmm.  Er.  Well, Page 27 came pretty early on in the movie.  It was tame by comparison to the book.  But, still, I sat there stone-faced and never once did I look at my dad throughout the entire sequence.  There are just some things you don't share with a parent.  Meanwhile, the movie itself was then and is now still a masterpiece.  The Best Picture of 1972.

4.  Rear Window

Only Alfred Hitchcock could keep a camera trained on the windows of a New York apartment building and get a riveting two-hour movie.  Sheer magic happens whenever I see it.  The true mark of a successful movie is if you can find something new in it with every successive viewing.  I just saw it again about two years ago at the Aero Theater and I found myself looking for little nuances in some of the apartments that Hitch doesn't focus on primarily.  There are gold nuggets all over the place.  Suspense that holds you in its grip no matter how many times you see it.  Thelma Ritter again is the snappy housekeeper you want to hire for your own apartment.  And how cool a villain's name is "Lars Thorwald?"

3.  North by Northwest

Back-to-back Hitchcock in my Top 5 and why the hell not?  Both films are as perfect as they come.  There is not a single wasted shot in all of "North by Northwest."  The perfect blend of comedy and suspense, which never crosses the line into either category.  Cary Grant is the ideal "wrong man at the wrong time and at the wrong place," a device Hitchcock used over and over and over.  As dire as his situation is, he pops off one-liners that have you giggling through the terror.  His best line when he sees Eva Marie Saint working together with villain James Mason:  "You here with her.  That's a picture that even Charles Addams couldn't draw."  Meanwhile, the crop dusting scene is legendary and required repeat viewing for any movie fan.

2.  Some Like It Hot

For years and years, I called this terrific Billy Wilder concoction my absolute favorite movie of all time.  And it's damn good.  The film provided me with my very first occasion of actually hearing people laugh in a movie theater.  My parents took me at a very young age.  I had no clue where the hell I was.  But, it was in the Loews Theater in Mount Vernon, New York.   As was always the case back in the day, you entered a movie theater regardless of where you were in the double feature.  And we walked into "Some Like It Hot" during the last ten minutes, when Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon are being chased around the hotel dressed as women.  The theater was enveloped in laughter.  And so were, in a rare moviegoing moment together, my parents.  Don't get me wrong.  This is and always will be a perfect comedy.  But, as I grew older and more experienced in life, there was another film that seemed to fit me even a little comfortably as my #1 Favorite Movie of All Time...

1.  The Apartment

Indeed, this Billy Wilder comedy-drama is most representative of life itself.  With its ups and downs.  Its joyous moments.  Its disappointments.  People connecting and un-connecting and then connecting again.  Sometimes, it makes sense.  Other times, it does not.   As time and I wore on, I realized that "The Apartment" continually says more to me about the world we live in than any other movie.  Wonderfully funny and harrowingly dramatic.  Two diverse reactions that can occur within seconds of each other as the characters of C.C. Baxter, Fran Kubelik, and Mr. Sheldrake play out their lives which could be the same issues confronting you and I.  Meanwhile, there is still a smile on my face throughout.  To enjoy "The Apartment" is to experience life itself.  Jack Lemmon, Shirley McLaine, and Fred MacMurray have never been better.  I've been in screenings of the movie where grown adults hiss at Fred from the audience.  Reactions like that show you that the film, as crafted by Herr Wilder, is working.  The Best Picture Oscar winner of 1960 and my Best Picture winner of my life.  What?  You haven't seen it?  Well, "just shut up and deal."

So there's the list again, gang.  For those of you into weird trivia, you can pay attention to the following:

Billy Wilder has directed three of the movies on this list.

Alfred Hitchcock has directed two of the movies on this list.

William Wyler has directed two of the movies on this list.

Those actors appearing in films more than once on this list:  the aforementioned Thelma Ritter, James Cagney, Buddy Hackett, Cyd Charisse, and Jack Lemmon.

By decade, there are 2 films from the 30s, 4 from the 40s, 11 from the 50s, 5 from the 60s, 2 from the 70s, and 1 from the 80s.

And, speaking to the state of Hollywood today, there is not one movie on this list made after the year 1987.

Dinner last night: Grilled bratwurst and macaroni salad.

Classic Movie Trailer of the Month - March 2022

This wonderful musical comedy is...um...forty years old this month.

Dinner last night:  Grilled gruyere cheese with bacon from Clementine's.

Your Winning Oscar Pool Ballot - Part 2

 

Wasn't it just yesterday that I said nobody gave a shit about this year's Oscars?  Well, I still don't, but who am I to deny you of a Starbucks Gift Card for your winning office pool ballot?  I gave you the secret sauce yesterday for all the back number categories.   Now let's tackle the biggies.

ACTRESS IS A SUPPORTING ROLE:  As much as I enjoyed Judi Dench as Grandma in "Belfast," Hollywood has been slobbering at the symmetry of giving the same Oscar to an actress playing the same character from the original film sixty years ago.   The marketing angle is way too good to ignore.  The winner is ARIANA DEBOSE for WEST SIDE STORY.

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE:  Here's where we see if the latest buzz out here is real or Memorex.   For months, the expected winner was that kid Kodi Smit-McPhee for the detestable "Power of the Dog."   But, because people have been sampling a damn good movie and a performance via streams and screeners, Troy Kotsur, a deaf actor, is getting noticed as the deaf dad in "CODA."  I mean, the only person who can't hear that buzz is...well...Troy Kotsur.  I expect he wins and, if that indeed occurs, I believe said movie has really come up in the ranks and might challenge for Best Picture.   I'll explain more in a bit.  The winner is TROY KOTSUR for CODA.

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE:  I did not see the performances of Penelope Cruz and Kristen Stewart.   But I did see the other three.  Olivia Colman?   Bleech!   On principal.   I find her an obvious and overrated actress.  Nicole Kidman?   She's no Lucille Ball.   She's barely Mrs. Keith Urban.  I was mesmerized by how Jessica Chastain transformed herself into evangelist Tammy Faye.   And it wasn't all done with just mascara and wigs.  The winner is JESSICA CHASTAIN for THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE:  I saw three of the performances so I can be semi-literate here.   As for the ones I missed, trust me when I tell you that I avoid the asshole Will Smith and the hateful racist Denzel Washington in anything they do.  I did not think Javier Bardem evoked any evidence of Desi Arnaz.   Benedict Cumberbatch is always a mystery to me when people adore him.   The performance I enjoyed most was Andrew Garfield as composer Jonathan Larson.  But, as self-conscious as always, Will Smith has been begging for an Oscar for years.   Just give it to him so he takes himself and that scam of a marriage away for good.   The winner is WILL SMITH for KING RICHARD.

DIRECTING:   They think Jane Campion is a genius.   She might be.   She managed to get me to sit through a screening of her movie.   Would I see it again?   I rather fall down face first in a homeless man's puddle of vomit.  The winner...regretfully....is JANE CAMPION for POWER OF THE DOG.

BEST PICTURE:  Here's where I am hoping Hollywood redeems itself for that "LaLa Land" debacle a few years ago.  All the buzz for months has been for "Power of the Dog," a pretentious mess that is actually difficult to watch.  While I would be okay with such nominees as "Belfast" and "Drive My Car,"  I would be over the moon if they chose "CODA," a movie that surprised the hell out of me for its honesty and watchability.   And...what the heck...it's got an uplifting ending.  When "CODA' won the Screen Actors Guild Award for Best Cast Ensemble, I was convinced we might be on the right track.   My head tells me "Power" but my heart hopes the winner is CODA.

Dinner last night:  Szechwan chicken and lo mein.

Your Winning Oscar Pool Ballot - Part 1

 

Let's all sing along with Chicago.

"Does anybody know what time is?  Does anybody really care?"

The latter phrase now refers to the Oscars.  I used to live for the ceremony.  But, as it has become laden with political acceptance speeches and films that suck, I could care less.   And, as viewership craters each year, they only make it worse. For instance, the hosts this year are Regina Hall, Amy Schumer, and Wanda Sykes.

Paging Bob Hope.

But, as those office NCAA bracket pools don't disappear, neither do Oscar office pools.   Even if offices themselves are going the way of Silly Putty.   If you're in a pool, read on and thank me when you win.  Today. I'll tackle the categories nobody gives a shit about.  Indeed, the Academy isn't even going to televise most of them.

SHORT ANIMATED FILM:  Back in the day, that was called a cartoon.   Usually featuring a funny animal.  From the titles, I see only one that features some sort of critter.   The winner is ROBIN ROBIN.

SHORT LIVE ACTION FILM:  Back in the day, that was called Our Gang.  In 2022, look for the one with the most "do goodie" plot.   Ah, I see the words "rising intolerance" in one log line.   The winner is THE LONG GOODBYE.

DOCUMENTARY SHORT:  Another rule of thumb.   Look for the most diverse title.   Ah, I found it.  The winner is THE QUEEN OF BASKETBALL.  Duh.

VISUAL EFFECTS:  Gratefully, I see none of these films anymore.   But there is one movie that I hear will steal all the technical Oscars.   The winner is DUNE.

SOUND:  See Visual Effects.   The winner is DUNE.

ORIGINAL SONG:  I remember the day on an Oscar telecast when Sammy Davis Jr. sang "Talk to the Animals."  Except for "Belfast," I saw none of the movies from which the nominated songs come from.   And, frankly, all I heard in "Belfast" were explosions.   Always go with a tune from a Disney cartoon.  The winner is DOS ORIGUITAS from ENCANTO.

ORIGINAL SCORE:  If there is a John Williams score, go with that.   If not, guess.  Oh, wait, Toto did the music for "Dune."  That's too kitschy to be real.  The winner is DUNE.

MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING:  Well, this is easy.   There's one movie listed that is all about the make-up and the hair.  The winner is THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE.  A film I actually saw...and...gasp...liked.

COSTUME DESIGN:  All I remember from this nominee I saw on a plane were the clothes.  The winner is CRUELLA.

FILM EDITING:  See Visual Effects, Sound, and Score.   The winner is DUNE.

CINEMATOGRAPHY:  See most of the above.  The winner is DUNE.

INTERNATIONAL FEATURE FILM:   Because the word "foreign" is too hard to say?  Of these nominees, one is up in this category as well as Best Picture.   That's usually a cinch to win one of the awards.   And, in this case, it's a worthy victory because I really enjoyed the film even though it was three hours of Japanese subtitles.  The winner is DRIVE MY CAR.

ANIMATED FEATURE:  One of the nominated films is "Luca" and it was the first Pixar I have enjoyed in years, mainly because it boldly featured a young boy as the main character.   But I keep seeing ads for Disney's other film which has a more diverse angle.  The winner is ENCANTO.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE:  Wow, I saw one of the nominees and loved it.   It was all about that Harlem 1969 summer concert that was rivaling Woodstock.   A marvelous musical movie.   The winner is SUMMER OF SOUL.

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY:  Adapted is a nice way of saying you used somebody else's idea.   Now I have seen four of the five nominees and I really, really liked "CODA" and "Drive My Car."  But the film jerks out here are all yakking up the dreadfully morose "Power of the Dog."  Despite my protestations, I think the winner is POWER OF THE DOG.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY:  And speaking of using somebody else's ideas, why is "Licorice Pizza" in the Original category?  I mean, the script was crafted from stories some actor named Gary Goetzman told director Paul Thomas Anderson.  It was a movie I still can't get a handle on.   But I am guessing this will be the bone for Mr. Anderson.  The winner is LICORICE PIZZA.

Come on back tomorrow for the Big Kahuna Kategories.

Dinner last night:  Salad.

This Date in History: March 23

 

Hello, dere!!  In Heaven.

1708:  JAMES FRANCIS EDWARD STUART LANDS AT THE FIRTH OF FORTH.

That looks like one of those sentences they make you do over and over in typing class.

1775:  DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, PATRICK HENRY DELIVERS HIS "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH" SPEECH.

Is that the only choice you got?

1801:  TSAR PAUL I OF RUSSIA IS STRUCK WITH A SWORD, THEN STRANGLED, AND FINALLY TRAMPLED TO DEATH IN HIS BEDROOM AT ST. MICHAEL'S CASTLE.

Overkill.

1821:  DURING THE GREEK WAR OF INDEPENDENCE, THE CITY OF KALAMATA FALLS.

And the price of olives went way, way up.

1857:  ELISHA OTIS' FIRST ELEVATOR IS INSTALLED AT 488 BROADWAY IN NEW YORK CITY.

Bet their stock went up, too.

1868:  THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA IS FOUNDED IN OAKLAND WHEN THE ORGANIC ACT IS ENACTED INTO LAW.

The Organic Act?  Has this got something to do with Whole Foods?  Meanwhile, now that this college exists, Chinese math students finally have a destination.

1889:  THE AHMADIYYA MUSLIM COMMUNITY IS ESTABLISHED BY MIRZA GHULAM AHMAD IN QADIAN INDIA.

It must be really easy to score a lot of points in the Muslim edition of Scrabble.

1903:  THE WRIGHT BROTHERS APPLY FOR A PATENT ON THEIR INVENTION OF ONE OF THE FIRST SUCCESSFUL AIRPLANES.

Looking at one of these very early planes, there was definitely more legroom.  Even if you were lying across the wings.

1905:  ACTRESS JOAN CRAWFORD IS BORN.

We love you, Mommie dearest.

1908:  AMERICAN DIPLOMAT DURHAM STEVENS IS ATTACKED BY KOREAN ASSASSINS JEON MYEONG-UN AND JANG IN-HWAN, LEADING TO HIS DEATH IN A HOSPITAL TWO DAYS LATER.

It must be really easy to score a lot of points in the Korean edition of Scrabble.

1919:  IN MILAN, ITALY, BENITO MUSSOLINI FOUNDS HIS FASCIST POLITICAL MOVEMENT.

He'll be hanging around until the day when he is...er, hanging around.

1922:  COMEDIAN MARTY ALLEN IS BORN.

A very bad hair day.

1933:  THE REICHSTAG PASSES THE ENABLING ACT OF 1933, MAKING ADOLF HITLER DICTATOR OF GERMANY.

What's with March 23 and rising dictators?

1953:  SINGER CHAKA KHAN IS BORN.

I once went to an industry function and, in the green room, she was so stoned that they had to prop her up against the wall for photo opportunities.

1956:  PAKISTAN BECOMES THE FIRST ISLAMIC REPUBLIC IN THE WORLD.

It's all downhill now.

1964:  ACTOR PETER LORRE DIES.

The undertaker needed a crowbar to close his eyes for the viewing.

1965:  NASA LAUNCHES GEMINI 3, THE UNITED STATES' FIRST TWO-MAN SPACE FLIGHT WITH GUS GRISSOM AND JOHN YOUNG ON BOARD.

The euphoria would be short-lived for Grissom who burned up while testing the Apollo capsule the following January.

1966:  MY GRANDFATHER DIES.

While I don't usually recall the dates when relatives die, this one was easy as it was the day after his birthday.

1982:  ARTIFICIAL HEART RECIPIENT BARNEY CLARK DIES.

So much for that extended warranty.

1983:  PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN MAKES HIS INITIAL PROPOSAL TO DEVELOP TECHNOLOGY TO INTERCEPT ENEMY MISSILES.

Well, there he goes again.

2005:  THE UNITED STATES 11TH CIRCUIT COURT OF APPEALS, IN A 2-1 DECISION, REFUSES TO ORDER THE REINSERTING OF TERRI SCHIAVO'S FEEDING TUBE.

Bye, bye.

2011:  ACTRESS ELIZABETH TAYLOR DIES.

Cats are envious.  She had about twelve lives.

2016:  SPORTSCASTER JOE GARAGIOLA DIES.

My grandmother used to call him Garabaldi.

2016:  ACTOR KEN HOWARD DIES.

The White Shadow.   Can we say that in 2022?

2020:   BRITISH PRIME MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON LOCKS DOWN ENGLAND DUE TO COVID-19.

My memory is fuzzy.  Was this a thing?

2021:  ACTOR GEORGE SEGAL DIES.   

Should have been afraid of more than Virginia Woolf.

Dinner last night:   Leftover Beef Stroganoff.

Redemption!

 

Well, that didn't take long at all.   On the heels of the dreadful Aaron Sorkin swill called "Being the Ricardos," director Amy Poehler and executive producer Ron Howard released this wonderful documentary which essentially acts as a cinematic palate cleanser.   All the falsehoods and imaginary demons created by Sorkin are erased.

The truth of the relationship between Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz is here.   Yes, there are warts but none like the ones conjured up by Aaron Sorkin who clearly has zero respect for what this couple did with their creation of "I Love Lucy."  The best part of this documentary is that their story is told in their own words and voices via tapes, radio interviews, etc..  It is also loaded with terrific home movies and clips as Amy Poehler had the full cooperation of Lucie Arnaz.   Of course, so did Sorkin and you see what that did.   Little Lucie has become this huge opportunistic and picking the bones off her parents' career since her own has come to a grinding halt.

I was even more gratified to see this movie give due respect and platitudes to our friends Madelyn Pugh Davis and Bob Carroll Jr. as co-creators of the sitcom.  They are depicted with reverence as they should be.   Again, Poehler doesn't gloss over some of the issues Lucy and Desi dealt with.   But, at the same time, the details are accurate and never smutty.   

The most important part of "Lucy and Desi" is the re-emphasis on how much of a genius Desi Arnaz was with the creation of the multicam sitcom format that still exists...although to a lesser degree...to this very day.   The man was a true visionary.   Madelyn once told us that he never got credit for shaping TV history and I have to agree.

Poehler's documentary is compelling, interesting, and available on Amazon Prime.   So is Aaron Sorkin's movie...meaning that you can see it on Amazon Prime.   But it's best that you didn't.

LEN'S RATING:  Four stars.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Chinese food.

Monday Morning Video Laugh - March 21, 2022

Our best Monday guffaw in all the 15 years of this blog.  Miss Scarlett. 

Dinner last night:  Beef stroganoff.

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Continuing With The 15th Anniversary Theme

 

Well, they had to start some time.   During this, my fifteenth anniversary week of my blog, I thought it would be fitting to look back at the very first time I did one of these Sunday Memory Drawers.   While those entries are certainly not up there in terms of page views (videos apparently rule), it's the Sunday pieces that earn me the nicest compliments.   People really appreciate the childhood retrospectives and can usually make comparisons of my past to their own.  

I recall how I started to do them and, frankly, this feature is only about nine years old.  The first year of the blog I did something completely different on the blog.  I would devise some list of favorites and we count down from # 25 to #1. I did my Top 25 Favorite Movies and then my Top 25 Favorite TV Shows.   I was stuck to what I could count down next.  

I had possibilities. My Top 25 Favorite Baseball Players or Games?  That was limiting and ultimately boring for a lot of readers.  Baseball tales also garner the least page views here.  My Top 25 Favorite Songs? My head would have exploded given that I can remember many a melody but nary a song title. I could go on and on and let it get sillier by the day.

Perhaps I could have done a list of My Top 25 Favorite Friends. Okay, I envisioned some problems there, especially when you're all surprised to see myself listed at #1.

I thought about what I enjoyed most about the two lists just completed. It was the memory bank that always seemed to be attached to the viewing of a film or the weekly watching of a TV show. That, for me as a writer, was the gold mined each and every week.

So, there I was with my new Sunday feature. Every week, I would take a look at my memory drawer. Something from the past that resonates with me and hopefully does the same for you. It could be something that happened when I was a kid or something that happened last week. I remember Sunday afternoons would often find me stretched out on my grandmother's couch while she rambled on about something that happened 30 years ago. 

Almost 730 Sunday Memory Drawers later, I am still reminiscing.  And today I take you back to that very first Sunday.   When my mind had wandered back to...my grandmother's kitchen pantry.

This room was a full-out treasure chest for me. Situated right off her kitchen, it was a full-sized room that had a counter where I could do homework. And there were shelves all the way up to the ceiling. Lots of places for me to hide whatever toy figurines or soldiers I was occupied with at the time. One side would hide behind the double boiler and the other would secrete themselves behind cans of Libby's vegetables. And I could hide myself in another corner and let it all play before me for hours and oodles of fun.

There were many other fringe benefits. My grandmother baked every single Saturday morning and there was usually some sort of cake or pie stored there. Pieces disappeared regularly. And, of course, her Poppin' Fresh cookie jar was always loaded with Jane Parker or Ann Page's finest chocolate chip cookies. Only the best that the local A and P had to offer. I still have that cookie jar here in LA and it's always filled. With chocolate chip cookies. The tribute that just keeps on giving.

One day, I noticed something else. My grandmother would go into the pantry, hop on a stepstool, and reach up to the very top shelf. Where apparently she was keeping some very special chocolate bars.

Hmmmm.

It didn't take many days after this discovery before I wanted to tap into this reserve myself. If my grandmother was hiding this candy, it must be damn good.

The stepstool still left me about three shelves too short for the reach. So, I essentially climbed gingerly from one shelf to another. The Wallendas had nothing on me, especially if there was a tasty treat at the end of the stunt. I got to that chocolate and munched. One piece and then another. And then another. She wouldn't miss a whole bar. I reasoned she probably had others stashed away all over the house.

And then it came. Or, in reality, there it went. About an hour later, I was sick to my stomach. And couldn't stop visiting a certain room in the house. Where I would be sitting and not standing. It was so bad that I missed two days of school and even was summoned to appear before the always feared pediatrician, Dr. Fiegoli. Nobody had any answers and I certainly didn't make the connection. Until my grandmother asked the question that begged for an answer...

"Who ate all my Ex-Lax?"

See you next Sunday.

Dinner last night:  General Tso's Chicken from Chin Chin.

Classic TV Theme Song of the Month - March 2022

 From 1977, the Betty White sitcom nobody remembers.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich,.

Your Weekend Movie Guide for March 2022

 

It seems like yesterday.   But it was two years ago where COVID-19 grabbed us all by our collective throats and made life tough to swallow.  One of the biggest casualties of that time span was the loss of movie theaters and the ability to see a new release on a big screen.   It changed business models and now films are simultaneously released to theaters and your TV.

Of course, we haven't missed much.  Witness the awful list of Best Picture Oscar nominees...several of them guaranteed to put you to sleep either in an aisle or your living room floor.   But we press on.   You know the monthly drill, gang.   I'll drift through the two or three movie pages in the newspaper and give you my knee-jerk reaction to what Hollywood is tempting us with.

Spoiler alert:  it ain't much.

The Batman:   I hear good things but it is three hours long.    But it has to be better than the latest iteration by renowned hack Christopher Nolan.

The Worst Person in the World:   Forget the movie.  It has to be Putin.

Cyrano:   That little dwarf from "Game of Thrones" gives me the creeps.

Drive My Car:   Reviewed here recently.  One of the few worthy Best Picture entrants.  Also three hours but it zooms by even with Japanese subtitles.

Death on the Nile:  Reviewed here recently.   I like a good Agatha Christie mystery even if I remember who did it from the first time it was filmed.

Licorice Pizza:   Reviewed here recently.   I wanted to like it.   I wanted to hate it.   I still can't make up my mind.

After Yang:  Yang is a girl's android that malfunctions.   Under warranty?

West Side Story:   Reviewed here a while back.   I liked it but it didn't make a dime.

Belfast:  Reviewed here a while back.  The Wonder Years Go To Ireland.

Parallel Mothers:   Not particularly interested in watching women go through labor.

All My Friends Hate Me:   This could be about anybody in Congress.

Being the Ricardos:   Reviewed here a while back.  Actually skewered.

The Tragedy of Macbeth:  Denzel Washington...pass.

King Richard:  Will Smith...pass.

CODA:  Reviewed here recently.   Perhaps my favorite movie of all the Best Picture nominees.   Simple and understated but still powerful.

The Lost Daughter:   Despite my hatred of Olivia Colman, I saw it.   And guess what?   I hated it.

Tyson's Run:  An autistic kid goes to high school for the first time.  So much for on-line learning.

Ash and Dust:  Two couples terrorized by a gang.  Could be worse...they could have gone to the Ukraine.

Deadly Cuts:  A black comedy about a Dublin hair salon.   Apologies to Sweeney Todd.

Gold:   Two drifters look for a gold nugget.   Starring Zac Efron so you have been warned.

Jackass Forever:  Democrats think this is a documentary about Trump.

Dog:   This stars Channing Tatum and who went and looked for him?

Panama:   Mel Gibson is back.   As if you were looking for him, too.

Sing 2:   Was there a Sing 1?

Uncharted:   I almost left this off because, after all, it should be uncharted.

Dinner last night:   Smoked sausage and potato salad.