Your Weekend Movie Guide for March 2022

 

It seems like yesterday.   But it was two years ago where COVID-19 grabbed us all by our collective throats and made life tough to swallow.  One of the biggest casualties of that time span was the loss of movie theaters and the ability to see a new release on a big screen.   It changed business models and now films are simultaneously released to theaters and your TV.

Of course, we haven't missed much.  Witness the awful list of Best Picture Oscar nominees...several of them guaranteed to put you to sleep either in an aisle or your living room floor.   But we press on.   You know the monthly drill, gang.   I'll drift through the two or three movie pages in the newspaper and give you my knee-jerk reaction to what Hollywood is tempting us with.

Spoiler alert:  it ain't much.

The Batman:   I hear good things but it is three hours long.    But it has to be better than the latest iteration by renowned hack Christopher Nolan.

The Worst Person in the World:   Forget the movie.  It has to be Putin.

Cyrano:   That little dwarf from "Game of Thrones" gives me the creeps.

Drive My Car:   Reviewed here recently.  One of the few worthy Best Picture entrants.  Also three hours but it zooms by even with Japanese subtitles.

Death on the Nile:  Reviewed here recently.   I like a good Agatha Christie mystery even if I remember who did it from the first time it was filmed.

Licorice Pizza:   Reviewed here recently.   I wanted to like it.   I wanted to hate it.   I still can't make up my mind.

After Yang:  Yang is a girl's android that malfunctions.   Under warranty?

West Side Story:   Reviewed here a while back.   I liked it but it didn't make a dime.

Belfast:  Reviewed here a while back.  The Wonder Years Go To Ireland.

Parallel Mothers:   Not particularly interested in watching women go through labor.

All My Friends Hate Me:   This could be about anybody in Congress.

Being the Ricardos:   Reviewed here a while back.  Actually skewered.

The Tragedy of Macbeth:  Denzel Washington...pass.

King Richard:  Will Smith...pass.

CODA:  Reviewed here recently.   Perhaps my favorite movie of all the Best Picture nominees.   Simple and understated but still powerful.

The Lost Daughter:   Despite my hatred of Olivia Colman, I saw it.   And guess what?   I hated it.

Tyson's Run:  An autistic kid goes to high school for the first time.  So much for on-line learning.

Ash and Dust:  Two couples terrorized by a gang.  Could be worse...they could have gone to the Ukraine.

Deadly Cuts:  A black comedy about a Dublin hair salon.   Apologies to Sweeney Todd.

Gold:   Two drifters look for a gold nugget.   Starring Zac Efron so you have been warned.

Jackass Forever:  Democrats think this is a documentary about Trump.

Dog:   This stars Channing Tatum and who went and looked for him?

Panama:   Mel Gibson is back.   As if you were looking for him, too.

Sing 2:   Was there a Sing 1?

Uncharted:   I almost left this off because, after all, it should be uncharted.

Dinner last night:   Smoked sausage and potato salad.