Opie!!!
1287: DURING THE ST. LUCIA'S FLOOD, THE ZUIDER ZEE SEA WALL IN THE NETHERLANDS COLLAPSES, KILLING OVER 50,000 PEOPLE.
Zuider Zee any relation to the Tappan Zee?
1503: ASTROLOGER NOSTRADAMUS DIES.
He guessed 1505. Wrong again!!!
1542: PRINCESS MARY STUART BECOMES MARY, QUEEN OF SCOTS.
As if if you would expect her to be named Morty, King of Scots.
1782: THE MONTGOLFIER BROTHERS' FIRST BALLOON LIFTS OFF ON ITS FIRST TEST FLIGHT.
You'll notice there is no mention of it landing.
1799: PRESIDENT GEORGE WASHINGTON DIES.
That cherry tree karma finally caught up to him.
1812: THE FRENCH INVASION OF RUSSIA COMES TO AN END AS THE REMNANTS OF THE GRANDE ARMEE ARE EXPELLED FROM RUSSIA.
Thereby ending the marketing concept of croissants stuffed with beets.
1819: ALABAMA BECOMES THE 22ND US STATE.
Who insisted on this???
1836: THE TOLEDO WAR UNOFFICIALLY ENDS.
I wonder what side Danny Thomas was on.
1896: THE GLASGOW UNDERGROUND RAILWAY IS OPENED BY THE GLASGOW DISTRICT SUBWAY COMPANY.
Well, it wouldn't be opened by the New Rochelle District Subway Company, would it?
1902: ACTRESS FRANCES BAVIER IS BORN.
When she died in 1989, they found she had about two dozen cats roaming around her house. And she thought the house was messy when Gomer spent the night.
1902: THE COMMERCIAL PACIFIC CABLE COMPANY LAYS THE FIRST PACIFIC TELEGRAPH, FROM SAN FRANCISCO TO HONOLULU.
The very first wire read "Frances Bavier born."
1903: THE WRIGHT BROTHERS MAKE THEIR FIRST ATTEMPT TO FLY WITH THE WRIGHT FLYER AT KITTY HAWK, NORTH CAROLINA.
Like that balloon I mentioned before, there is no mention of it landing.
1908: COMEDIAN MOREY AMSTERDAM IS BORN.
Tell me about it.
1911: ROALD AMUNDSEN'S TEAM OF EXPLORERS BECOMES THE FIRST TO REACH THE SOUTH POLE.
They were shooting for the North Pole, but who am I to quibble?
1917: CHOREOGRAPHER JUNE TAYLOR IS BORN.
And away we go....
1920: FOOTBALL PLAYER GEORGE GIPP DIES.
Did they win?
1935: ACTRESS LEE REMICK IS BORN.
I met her once. Just saying.
1939: THE SOVIET UNION IS EXPELLED FROM THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS FOR INVADING FINLAND.
Too bad. They had a shot at third place in 1940.
1946: ACTRESS PATTY DUKE IS BORN.
She's lived most everywhere...from Zanzibar to Barclay Square...and now she's....oh, well.
1946: THE UNITED NATIONS GENERAL ASSEMBLY VOTES TO ESTABLISH ITS HEADQUARTERS IN NEW YORK CITY.
And now fourth grade classes finally have someplace to go on a field trip.
1955: ALBANIA, AUSTRIA, BULGARIA, CAMBODIA, FINLAND, HUNGARY, IRELAND, ITALY, JORDAN, LAOS, LIBYA, NEPAL, PORTUGAL, ROMANIA, SPAIN, AND SRI LANKA JOIN THE UNITED NATIONS.
This is what happens when you lower the annual dues. You'll discover later on that December 14 is a magical day for the UN.
1961: THE UNITED REPUBLIC OF TANZANIA JOINS THE UNITED NATIONS.
See.
1962: NASA'S MARINER 2 BECOMES THE FIRST SPACECRAFT TO FLY BY VENUS.
Obviously, Venus is a local stop and this was an express.
1972: APOLLO ASTRONAUT EUGENE CERNAN IS THE LAST PERSON TO WALK ON THE MOON.
And there are some who still think they did this in a Burbank soundstage.
1975: ACTOR ARTHUR TREACHER DIES.
Sleeping with the fishes....and the chips.
1980: BASEBALL PLAYER ELSTON HOWARD DIES.
Might be proof that Gulden's Mustard kills.
1980: BASEBALL PLAYER ELSTON HOWARD DIES.
Might be proof that Gulden's Mustard kills.
1985: BASEBALL PLAYER ROGER MARIS DIES.
Asterisked because Babe Ruth died during a leap year.
1997: ACTOR STUBBY KAYE DIES.
Finally sat down and the boat stopped rocking.
1993: ACTRESS MYRNA LOY DIES.
Not exactly the best year of her life.
1993: ACTRESS MYRNA LOY DIES.
Not exactly the best year of her life.
1998: ACTOR NORMAN FELL DIES.
In death, one's company enough.
1999: KIRIBATI, NAURU, AND TONGA JOIN THE UNITED NATIONS.
Careful, UN. You're liable to run out of chairs.
2004; NEW YORK MET ROD KANEHL DIES.
God needed somebody who could play both second and short.
2006: ACTOR MIKE "LIONEL" EVANS DIES.
There goes the neighborhood.
2008: PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH MAKES HIS FINAL TRIP TO IRAQ AND IS ALMOST STRUCK BY TWO SHOES THROWN AT HIM DURING A PRESS CONFERENCE.
2012: SANDY HOOK ELEMENTARY SCHOOL SHOOTING.
No words needed.
2013: ACTOR PETER O'TOOLE DIES.
Lawrence of Forest Lawn.
2014: TV PERSONALITY BESS MYERSON DIES.
I've got a secret. She and beau Ed Koch probably never slept together.
2015: BUSINESSWOMAN LILLIAN VERNON DIES.
Which explains why your catalog order might be late.
2017: WALT DISNEY COMPANY PURCHASES 20TH CENTURY FOX.
A congratulatory dinner was hosted by Mickey Mouse and C3PO.
Dinner last night: Leftover chicken.
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