Panic Attack: The Sequel

 

You may remember I wrote a similar piece last week about my upcoming knee replacement surgery, which I am now officially dreading.  Well, it didn't get any better when I had my required pre-op physical with my internist.  He pronounced me as perfectly fit with the best blood work from me in years.   

Good news, right?   Not in my current frame of mind.

I countered my doctor with the fact that, with all this good health, I was going to walk into a medical facility and...yes, I used this term with my physician...I would completely fuck myself up.

He smiled and didn't disagree.  He pointed out that there will be a day sooner than later when I will be even more immobile than I feel I am now.  It was much better to do it younger than older.

Yes, my great doctor is 100 percent right.  

Now I also reminded him that the last time I had any level of anesthesia I stopped breathing.   Yes, true, and that's because it was an endoscopy and I was lying on my stomach.  

We went back and forth and back and forth.  Ultimately, I trust him more than I trust any doctor I have ever had.  

There's a sidebar to all this discussion over the past few weeks.  All of a sudden, my social media is being bombarded with ads and testimonials that all start with the same headline.

"IF YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD YOU NEED KNEE REPLACEMENT..."

What follows are ads and videos.   Try this electrode stimulus.   Down this pill.  Wear this patch.   Stand on your head in Macy's window.

How do they know?

Well, my doctor told me what I think we all already know.

Our computers and phones are listening to us.  Capturing data at every opportunity.   He mentioned a simple conversation he had with his 16-year-old daughter about some concert tickets.   All of a sudden, he was inundated with ticket deals on-line.

Hmmm.   I might be panicking about the wrong thing.   And, indeed, you might want to join me in hyperventilation.

Dinner last night:  Salad.