This will be a polarizing blog entry. Some people will hate it. Others will love it. But, folks, that's what makes this forum great. I can express my opinion. If you don't like it, move on.
Sort of the way Joan Rivers approached humor.
When her health suddenly and inexplicably spiraled out of control last week, I posted the news on Facebook and announced my sadness as I was a fan. Several friends took me to task. How could I possibly like her? She was mean. She was this. She was that. And, oh, that ugly plastic surgery.
Yes, the later years found her really becoming her own joke with the excessive face work. But that still didn't diminish what I always enjoyed from her. Wonderful, biting humor. In our overly and disgustingly political correct world, Joan was always a breath of fresh air. She'd say anything. And could get away with it. There are few left who can do that. I mean, please check out the recent and marvelous documentary that followed her around for a year. In one year, Joan is trying out some new jokes on her staff. She wants to know if she can get away with calling Michelle Obama "Blackie O."
Offensive? Maybe. Funny to at least me? Damn skippy. Her humor was fearless. I remember one joke about going to Sea World with Elizabeth Taylor to see Shamu the whale.
"Elizabeth took one look at Shamu and asked if it came with vegetables."
This is a woman who joked on 9/12/01 that she was looking to make lunch reservations at Windows on the Ground. Sure, it makes you gringe. But Joan Rivers lived on the edge no matter the day or the time.
Yes, this is Sunday and there is an awful lot of Joan Rivers stowed away in my Memory Drawer. The photo at the top, for one. It was a record album (remember those?) released several decades ago. Having discovered Joan Rivers first on the Ed Sullivan Show, I saved my allowance money to get it. I listened over and over and over. It was sheer brilliance. My childhood best friend Leo can attest to some summer nights where I would bring my record player down and we would listen to it on my front stoop.
Back at that time, Leo and I were also venturing downtown to see tapings of the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. But, oddly enough, Johnny wasn't working the very first show we went to. Who was the guest host?
You guessed it.
I'm happy to say that I got to see Joan perform about a dozen or so times over the years. I was never disappointed. There was one night in a small comedy club in Los Angeles. There were several shows in various theaters-in-the-round. About five or so years ago, there was an evening in the Catalina Jazz Club on Sunset Boulevard. But, there was one performance that will always stand out to me. And you had to be there.
It was at the Westbury Music Fair on Long Island. My good pal, Djinn from the Bronx, and I had gone out to see Joan who was opening for some musical act that I have completely forgotten. On that evening, it was complete serendipity for Joan. Everything fell completely into place. She was on fire. For one stretch during the half-hour set, Joan was so amazingly funny that neither Djinn or I could stop from crying. We were literally convulsed with laughter as was the rest of the audience. It just might be the funniest 30 minutes I have experienced. Ever.
Okay, the red carpet stuff and the fashion reviews were less interesting to me. I passed on the reality series that followed her and daughter Melissa around. But, as for stand up comedy, she might have been one of the best. Ever.
It seemed unconscionable that she's gone because she just kept working and working and working. Two days before she went into cardiac arrest, I had watched on Facebook her own Ice Bucket Challenge. But, when you're 81, any routine medical procedure with anesthesia can be deadly. It's particularly unnerving when Joan had just performed the night before at a small New York venue. It is reported that she mentioned her age to the audience and added that she could go right then and there.
"You all can say you saw my last show."
And those folks can actually say that.
A writer friend of mine used to sell her jokes. She'd pay five or seven bucks for a good one and that's how she managed to fill rows and rows of index card files. My pal vouches that she was great to deal with and credits the start of his career to Joan. I've heard countless similar stories of her generosity and kindness.
I myself rode an elevator with her for two floors once. She was recording an interview at one of the places I worked. I heard this familiar and raspy voice calling out.
"Hold the elevator please!"
Joan got on and I told her that she's one of the few people I would hit the "door open" button for.
"Well, you're one of the few people I would hold the elevator for, too."
A moment. A smile. And she got off on five.
Unlike the usual celebrity nonsense these days, Joan was all by herself. There was no entourage with her. No peeps or sycophants. She went about her business. On her own. Oh, sure, she had the bling and the fur and all the trappings. But she was who she was. A woman going to tape an interview at a studio. It was simple as that.
A few days ago, some would-be comic tweeted that "Joan Rivers is on life support and so is the career of daughter Melissa." Ouch. Meanwhile, I'm thinking that Joan would have laughed and then asked the question.
"Too soon?"
Never.
Comedy died a little last month with the demise of Robin Williams. Now the art has really been sucker punched. With what's going on in the world today, we will miss these laughs a whole lot more than we think.
Dinner last night: Sandwich, German potato salad, and pickled beets.
Escape. Come on over.
Dinner last night: The pre-game buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.
Here's a story about a man named Brady whose son just got arrested...
"Come and knock on our door..."
"We've been waiting for you..." I can't keep the thread going. Neither John Ritter or Norman Fell had an arrest record.
This one never gets old. Unlike the guy in the picture who does.
This year's Oscar winner for Best Actor.
Swearin' to God...
Is it me or does Jane Fonda look like MacKenzie Phillips from the side?
The bad news is that Jesse Jackson was arrested. The worse news is they let him out.
Remember when?
Prison Improvement.
You can;t do Celebrity Mug Shots without at least one of Lindsay Lohan's.
This partridge is in a jail cell.
Dinner last night: Sesame ginger chicken dumplings at California Pizza Kitchen.
Here's America's favorite idiot Justin Bieber doing the new craze across America, the Ice Bucket Challenge. Millions of you are following suit. Now don't you feel a little silly that you're doing the same thing this numbskull has done? I mean, I can't imagine the conversation Bieber had while setting this up. Who was the one who explained the concept of ice to him? And gave him directions as to where his head was? Meanwhile, how many illnesses could be cured from the money he spent getting those funny pages inked onto his arms?
We've gone a bit coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, gang.
And when you think you've seen it all, watch the Kennedy clan join in the fun. All in the name of ALS.
Oh, who didn't like seeing that old fossil Ethel getting doused?
Of course, seeing these fools get soaking wet up on the Hyannis Port compound just makes me want to donate to some Mary Jo Kopechnie Drunk Driving Foundation. Meanwhile, dopey Ethel challenges the President to do the same. Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. Secret Service will wrestle the ice bucket to the ground before he feels a drop. And nobody bother to challenge Michelle. I mean, she looks like the type who doesn't like to get her hair wet.
Okay, just so you know, I'm not being Len the cranky old guy who lives next door and calls the cops every time you're having fun. I totally support the cause behind this crazy virtual chain letter. You all can drown yourselves to your heart's content. I have lots of friends who have participated in this and I salute you all. If you're in California, I am wondering about the waste of water since it hasn't rained since Gerald Ford was President.
But, I digress...
I know my pals all have their hearts...and heads...in the right place. And you've all made your donations, right? Right????
But I'm thinking about the bigger picture of this nutty fad that is sweeping America. The good news is that, like all crazes, this will die out as quickly as it started. And, the sad news is that the budget line for contributions to ALS will sink back down to the levels they've likely experienced over the past four decades. America is a funny place. We all run over to one spot for a while to stare at one thing. Then we run over to a completely different place to stare at something else. And completely forget about the first thing we were staring at.
So, let's think about what this Ice Bucket Challenge is in the first place. You get nominated by some "friend" to do this. If you go through with the wet stunt, you donate 10 bucks to ALS. If you are nominated and don't do within 24 hours, you're supposed to send 100 dollars to ALS. Got that? Who's going to check? Is there some kind of ALS police force? Guys running around with badges sporting the picture of Lou Gehrig and making sure that clowns like Ashton Kutcher and Ben Affleck cough up their money? And, if you're with ALS, doesn't it make more sense if nobody actually dumps a bucket of ice water on their head? I mean, non-compliance is a 90 buck mark-up.
Of course, I'm thinking that most of the Hollywood yucksters who have jumped on this idiotic band wagon have zero clue about the cause itself. Tell one of them that ALS is normally called "Lou Gehrig's Disease" and the likely response is "who?" But, publicists have already counseled their clients that this is a good thing and, well, since their last five movies have tanked at the box office, this is a good way to reconnect with the public.
Being ultra-cynical? Of course, I am. But you and I both know that this circus is being fueled by a lot of empty dollars. I wonder about all the celebrities I've seen water themselves down and I would like to see the follow-up Facebook or Instagram video where we see them actually putting the check in a mailbox.
There was an article a while back in the Los Angeles Times that took on the Ice Bucket Challenge phenomenon. While usually the print bastion of lunatic columnists and opinions, this piece was spot-on. Indeed, it considered the ALS cause and compared it to all the other diseases that need attention as well.
According to the writer, ALS is a very rare affliction when compared to heart disease, cancer, and other neuro-muscular disorders. On the sheer number of those affected, ALS is way behind those other causes. This is not to diminish the disease's deadly impact in any shape or form. I am thinking, of course, about the heroic Yankee first baseman. Also a distant relative of my grandmother's who suffered with the illness for many years. I know of friends who have relatives and friends who have sadly dealt with this disease.
Yet, while there has been a virtual cash cow bonanza for ALS over the past several weeks, I worry about all those other worthy causes that were not lucky enough to get swept up into a fad of manic proportions. And, comparatively speaking, those other charities are for diseases that are much more widespread. Sorry to say, I know a lot more people who have battled or succumbed to cancer than ALS.
Yes, amidst all the soaking on Facebook, I made a contribution last week to ALS. At the same time, I also made a donation to support a good friend doing a bike ride for ovarian cancer research. And, as I have done every single year, I also sent in my money for another pal's Revlon Run/Walk event.
Meanwhile, I regularly donate to three specific charities that have a place in my heart. Susan G. Komen for Breast Cancer. The American Lung Association. St. Jude's Children's Hospital and that's even a cause that is earmarked in my living trust agreement. I'm not bragging that I make these contributions. My point is that these types of charities should be getting all of our attention all of the time. Not just because we want to post funny videos or because our publicist tells us so. Charity should be a serious consideration for all of us all the time. It's not a hot new philanthropic party game.
The sad thing in America post-2008 is that these charities and worthy causes have all suffered in light of an economy that, despite what you hear on the news, has never really rebounded. Sadly, when household money gets tight or your tax dollars go up, the first thing you likely are forced to cut is the donations you make every year to your favorite charities.
And, naturally, we also need to consider less government dollars for important medical research like this, while millions of bucks are poured into such inane causes as teaching people how to surf the Internet. That's a dilemma that we can easily blame on both sides of the aisle, folks. Sure,it's great that ALS got this boost. I'm just hoping there is something similar down the road for all the other ones as well.
Hey, you can start diversifying this Friday night with the Stand Up to Cancer telethon. And you don't need a bucket of ice cold water to do it. Just watch or go on-line and make that donation. Or mail a check.
But, of course, that's not as much fun to watch on Facebook.
Dinner last night: Sandwich and salad.
Happy birthday, Charlie Sheen. You've been quiet lately but, then again, I'm behind in my reading of Police Gazette.
301: SAN MERINO, ONE OF THE SMALLEST NATIONS IN THE WORLD AND THE OLDEST REPUBLIC IN EXISTENCE, IS FOUNDED BY SAINT MARINUS.
Marinus? Doesn't he play in Seattle?
673: KIMG WAMBA OF THE VISIGOTHS PUTS DOWN A REVOLT BY HILDERIC, GOVERNOR OF FRANCE.
If Wamba was on a baseball team, he would swing a wambat.
1189: RICHARD THE LIONHEART OF ENGLAND IS CROWNED AT WESTMINSTER.
He is the king of the forest.
1260: THE MAMLUKS DEFEAT THE MONGOLS IN PALESTINE, MARKING THEIR FIRST DECISIVE DEFEAT AND THE POINT OF MAXIMUM EXPANSION OF THE MONGOL EMPIRE.
I love Mongolian Beef.
1651: THE BATTLE OF WORCESTER IN THE THIRD ENGLISH CIVIL WAR.
So how does this wind up in Massachusetts?
1658: RICHARD CROMWELL BECOMES LORD PROTECTOR OF ENGLAND.
Lord Protector? Sounds like a movie with Arnold.
1777: DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, THE FLAG OF THE UNITED STATES IS FLOWN IN BATTLE FOR THE FIRST TIME AT THE BATTLE OF COOCH'S BRIDGE.
Long may it wave.
1812: 24 SETTLERS ARE KILLED IN THE PIGEON ROOST MASSACRE IN INDIANA.
But how many birds died?
1838: FUTURE ABOLITIONIST FREDERICK DOUGLASS ESCAPES FROM SLAVERY.
Can you blame him for his later political stand?
1861: DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, CONFEDERATE GENERAL LEONIDAS POLK INVADES NEUTRAL KENTUCKY.
My Old Confederate Home.
1875: THE FIRST OFFICIAL GAME OF POLO IS PLAYED IN ARGENTINA AFTER BEING INTRODUCED BY BRITISH RANCHERS.
So now we have something to put on the cologne bottle.
1910: TV PERSONALITY KITTY CARLISLE IS BORN.
With or without the long black gloves.
1913: ACTOR ALAN LADD IS BORN.
He's here, Shane.
1914: FRENCH COMPOSER ALBERIC MAGNARD IS KILLED AFTER SHOOTING AT INVADING GERMAN SOLDIERS.
Cue the funeral dirge.
1924: ACTRESS MARY GRACE CANFIELD IS BORN.
Alf...or Ralph....from Green Acres, Whichever one, she just died, too.
1929: MOBSTER WHITEY BULGER IS BORN.
Celebrating this one in jail.
1931: SERIAL KILLER ALBERT DESALVO IS BORN.
Don't answer the door.
1935: SIR MALCOLM CAMPBELL REACHES A SPEED OF 304,331 MILES PER HOUR ON THE BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS IN UTAH, BECOMING THE FIRST PERSON TO DRIVE A CAR OVER 300 MPH.
They haven't seen me when I'm late for a Dodger game.
1939: FRANCE, THE UNITED KINGDOM, NEW ZEALAND, AND AUSTRALIA DECLARE WAR ON GERMANY AFTER THE INVASION OF POLAND.
Mr. Roosevelt, what say you? I hear nothing.
1939: THE UNITED KINGDOM AND FRANCE BEGIN A NAVAL BLOCKADE OF GERMANY THAT LASTS UNTIL THE END OF THE WAR.
I'm guessing this was mostly England's idea.
1941: THE FIRST GAS CHAMBER EXPERIMENTS ARE CONDUCTED AT AUSCHWITZ.
Charming.
1944: ANNE FRANK AND HER FAMILY ARE PLACED ON THE LAST TRANSPORT TRAIN TO AUSCHWITZ.
And speaking of the gas chamber.
1951: THE FIRST AMERICAN TV SOAP OPERA, SEARCH FOR TOMORROW, AIRS FOR THE FIRST TIME ON CBS.
Not one that my grandmother watched.
1962: POET E.E. CUMMINGS DIES.
rip.
1965: ACTOR CHARLIE SHEEN IS BORN.
You think there's some drinking going on at his house tonight?
1967: IN SWEDEN, TRAFFIC CHANGES FROM DRIVING ON THE LEFT TO DRIVING ON THE RIGHT OVERNIGHT.
Which makes it very confusing when you're coming home with a snootful at midnight.
1970: COACH VINCE LOMBARDI DIES.
Thrown for a huge loss.
1985: SONGWRITER JOHNNY MARKS DIES.
He had a very shiny nose.
1991: DIRECTOR FRANK CAPRA DIES.
It WAS a wonderful life.
2001: FILM CRITIC PAULINE KAEL DIES.
I bet she hates this, too.
2012: RELIGIOUS LEADER SUN MYUNG MOON DIES.
Setting in the west.
Dinner last night: BBQ tri-tip sandwich at Wood Ranch.
The oddest things make me want to see a movie.
I had seen the posters all over LA heralding the arrival of this film about the legendary Mexican screen actor and comic. Why was I drawn to it? Perhaps because a great deal of the movie would detail the making of one of the most mystifying winners of the Best Picture Oscar, "Around the World in 80 Days." Or maybe it was because I remember getting dragged by my mom to some three-hour snooze fest called "Pepe" which starred this Cantinflas? I knew there was some major movie history around this guy who was a phenomenon in Mexico during the 30s and 40s.
So I went to be educated, I suppose. And then, after I came home, I dove into the internet to see if what I saw was true.
I still don't know. Indeed, films should entertain and teach. But, with "Cantinflas," the fact checking was actually longer than the movie itself.
Okay, Cantinflas was really Mario Moreno who bounced around Mexico performing in some dingy music halls. People loved him, although I couldn't figure out why since he wasn't very funny. Of course, the gags might have been lost in the subtitle translation.
The movie shuttles between Mario's early career and Hollywood in 1956 where producer Mike Todd is trying desperately to get back for his Around the World epic. Todd is played well by the Sopranos' Michael Imperioli and these scenes have subtitles in Spanish. So, if you're bilingual, you could read the whole film. The only problem is that Hollywood looks just like Mexico. And the depictions of real stars such as Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando don't look anything like the real thing.
Meanwhile, Charlie Chaplin, or somebody that didn't remotely look like Chaplin, pops up and it is intimated that he is the one who brought the project to Cantinflas for his starring role. Did this really happen? Who knows? I could find no record of this on-line. And, given that Chaplin was already gone from America by 1955, it might have been unlikely.
Mario's early career has the usual ups and downs you have seen in countless other biopics. Lonely wife at home while he's at the studio. Inability to have children. Fighting with producers to get his creative point across. Organizing Mexican actors into a union. Doing my homework, some of this was verified. Some of it wasn't. And I suddenly realized that this was now a high school class project.
Did I learn something with "Cantinflas?" Yes. Did I enjoy it? Not really. So, yes, this was 10th Grade English with Mr. Bickford all over again. Yet, at the film's conclusion, there were cheers from the audience I saw it with. Most were Hispanic. Several of the older ones had tears in their eyes as they left.
So I learned one more thing about this Cantinflas dude. To some people, he was everything.
LEN'S RATING: Two stars.
Dinner last night: The pre-game buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.
Well, you can't see Jerry Lewis any more on Labor Day. Unless you look at this blog.
Dinner last night: Hot dog at the Hollywood Bowl.
