Throwing Cold Water On Your Ice Bucket

Here's America's favorite idiot Justin Bieber doing the new craze across America, the Ice Bucket Challenge.   Millions of you are following suit.  Now don't you feel a little silly that you're doing the same thing this numbskull has done?  I mean, I can't imagine the conversation Bieber had while setting this up.   Who was the one who explained the concept of ice to him?   And gave him directions as to where his head was?  Meanwhile, how many illnesses could be cured from the money he spent getting those funny pages inked onto his arms?

We've gone a bit coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs, gang.

And when you think you've seen it all, watch the Kennedy clan join in the fun.  All in the name of ALS. 
Oh, who didn't like seeing that old fossil Ethel getting doused?

Of course, seeing these fools get soaking wet up on the Hyannis Port compound just makes me want to donate to some Mary Jo Kopechnie Drunk Driving Foundation.   Meanwhile, dopey Ethel challenges the President to do the same.  Yeah, that ain't gonna happen.  Secret Service will wrestle the ice bucket to the ground before he feels a drop.  And nobody bother to challenge Michelle.  I mean, she looks like the type who doesn't like to get her hair wet.

Okay, just so you know, I'm not being Len the cranky old guy who lives next door and calls the cops every time you're having fun.  I totally support the cause behind this crazy virtual chain letter.  You all can drown yourselves to your heart's content.  I have lots of friends who have participated in this and I salute you all.  If you're in California, I am wondering about the waste of water since it hasn't rained since Gerald Ford was President.

But, I digress...

I know my pals all have their hearts...and heads...in the right place.  And you've all made your donations, right?  Right???? 

But I'm thinking about the bigger picture of this nutty fad that is sweeping America.  The good news is that, like all crazes, this will die out as quickly as it started.   And, the sad news is that the budget line for contributions to ALS will sink back down to the levels they've likely experienced over the past four decades.  America is a funny place.  We all run over to one spot for a while to stare at one thing.  Then we run over to a completely different place to stare at something else.  And completely forget about the first thing we were staring at.

So, let's think about what this Ice Bucket Challenge is in the first place.   You get nominated by some "friend" to do this.  If you go through with the wet stunt, you donate 10 bucks to ALS.  If you are nominated and don't do within 24 hours, you're supposed to send 100 dollars to ALS.  Got that?  Who's going to check?  Is there some kind of ALS police force?  Guys running around with badges sporting the picture of Lou Gehrig and making sure that clowns like Ashton Kutcher and Ben Affleck cough up their money?  And, if you're with ALS, doesn't it make more sense if nobody actually dumps a bucket of ice water on their head?  I mean, non-compliance is a 90 buck mark-up. 

Of course, I'm thinking that most of the Hollywood yucksters who have jumped on this idiotic band wagon have zero clue about the cause itself.  Tell one of them that ALS is normally called "Lou Gehrig's Disease" and the likely response is "who?"  But, publicists have already counseled their clients that this is a good thing and, well, since their last five movies have tanked at the box office, this is a good way to reconnect with the public. 

Being ultra-cynical?   Of course, I am.  But you and I both know that this circus is being fueled by a lot of empty dollars.   I wonder about all the celebrities I've seen water themselves down and I would like to see the follow-up Facebook or Instagram video where we see them actually putting the check in a mailbox.

There was an article a while back in the Los Angeles Times that took on the Ice Bucket Challenge phenomenon.  While usually the print bastion of lunatic columnists and opinions, this piece was spot-on.  Indeed, it considered the ALS cause and compared it to all the other diseases that need attention as well.

According to the writer, ALS is a very rare affliction when compared to heart disease, cancer, and other neuro-muscular disorders.  On the sheer number of those affected, ALS is way behind those other causes.  This is not to diminish the disease's deadly impact in any shape or form.  I am thinking, of course, about the heroic Yankee first baseman.  Also a distant relative of my grandmother's who suffered with the illness for many years.  I know of friends who have relatives and friends who have sadly dealt with this disease.  

Yet, while there has been a virtual cash cow bonanza for ALS over the past several weeks, I worry about all those other worthy causes that were not lucky enough to get swept up into a fad of manic proportions.  And, comparatively speaking, those other charities are for diseases that are much more widespread.  Sorry to say, I know a lot more people who have battled or succumbed to cancer than ALS. 

Yes, amidst all the soaking on Facebook, I made a contribution last week to ALS.  At the same time, I also made a donation to support a good friend doing a bike ride for ovarian cancer research.   And, as I have done every single year, I also sent in my money for another pal's Revlon Run/Walk event.

Meanwhile, I regularly donate to three specific charities that have a place in my heart.  Susan G. Komen for Breast Cancer.  The American Lung Association.  St. Jude's Children's Hospital and that's even a cause that is earmarked in my living trust agreement.   I'm not bragging that I make these contributions.  My point is that these types of charities should be getting all of our attention all of the time.  Not just because we want to post funny videos or because our publicist tells us so.  Charity should be a serious consideration for all of us all the time.  It's not a hot new philanthropic party game.

The sad thing in America post-2008 is that these charities and worthy causes have all suffered in light of an economy that, despite what you hear on the news, has never really rebounded.  Sadly, when household money gets tight or your tax dollars go up, the first thing you likely are forced to cut is the donations you make every year to your favorite charities.  

And, naturally, we also need to consider less government dollars for important medical research like this, while millions of bucks are poured into such inane causes as teaching people how to surf the Internet.  That's a dilemma that we can easily blame on both sides of the aisle, folks.  Sure,it's great that ALS got this boost.   I'm just hoping there is something similar down the road for all the other ones as well.

Hey, you can start diversifying this Friday night with the Stand Up to Cancer telethon.  And you don't need a bucket of ice cold water to do it.   Just watch or go on-line and make that donation.  Or mail a check. 

But, of course, that's not as much fun to watch on Facebook.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich and salad.