456: ROMAN GENERAL REMISTUS IS BESIEGED WITH A GOTHIC FORCE AT RAVENNA AND LATER EXECUTED.
I would be remist not mentioning this today.
1176: THE BATTLE OF MYRIOKEPHALON IS FOUGHT.
Sounds like something you take when you comedown with Myrio.
1462: THE BATTLE OF SWIECINO IS FOUGHT DURING THE THIRTEEN YEARS' WAR.
Included here for no reason other than to mention I have no clue what the Thirteen Year's War was fought over.
1630: THE CITY OF BOSTON IS FOUNDED.
I guess it had to start some time.
1683: ANTONIE VAN LEEUWENHOEK WRITES A LETTER TO THE ROYAL SOCIETY AND INCLUDES THE FIRST KNOWN DESCRIPTION OF PROTOZOA.
As if anybody is antitozoa.
1775: DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION, THE INVASION OF CANADA BEGINS.
Why bother now? Winter is coming.
1787: THE UNITED STATES CONSTITUTION IS SIGNED IN PHILADELPHIA.
And now it's not worth the parchment it was written on.
1814: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY FINISHES HIS POEM "DEFENCE OF FORT MCHENRY," LATER TO BE THE LYRICS OF THE "STAR SPANGLED BANNER."
What so proudly we hail.
1849: ABOLITIONIST HARRIET TUBMAN ESCAPES FROM SLAVERY.
But she's no Steve McQueen.
1859: JOSHUA A. NORTON DECLARES HIMSELF "NORTON 1, EMPEROR OF THE US."
We should have had the Norton Anti-Virus.
1862: DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, GEORGE MCCLELLAN HALTS THE NORTHWARD DRIVE OF ROBERT E. LEE'S CONFEDERATE ARMY IN THE BATTLE OF ANTIETAM, THE BLOODIEST DAY IN AMERICAN MILITARY HISTORY.
Take that, Vietnam.
1904: ACTOR JERRY COLONNA IS BORN.
Hey, Hope!
1908: THE WRIGHT FLYER FLOWN BY ORVILLE WRIGHT WITH LIEUTENANT THOMAS SELFRIDGE AS PASSENGER, CRASHES KILLING SELFRIDGE. HE BECOMES THE FIRST AIRPLANE FATALITY.
Well, the count had to start some time.
1916: DURING WORLD WAR I, MANFRED VON RICHTHOFEN (THE RED BARON" WINS HIS FIRST AERIAL COMBAT.
My money's on Snoopy.
1928: ACTOR RODDY MCDOWALL IS BORN.
I just realized that the spelling was not "McDowell."
1931: ACTRESS ANNE BANCROFT IS BORN.
Mrs. Mel Brooks to you.
1939: DURING WORLD WAR II, A GERMAN U-BOAT U 29 SINKS THE BRITISH AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS COURAGEOUS.
Yeah, not so much.
1940: DURING WORLD WAR II, FOLLOWING THE GERMAN DEFEAT IN THE BATTLE OF BRITAIN, HITLER POSTPONES OPERATION SEA LION INDEFINITELY.
Reset.
1945: BASKETBALL PLAYER/COACH PHIL JACKSON IS BORN.
Two points.
1957: MALAYSIA JOINS THE UNITED NATIONS.
Yeah, I still wouldn't fly their airline.
1960: BASEBALL STAR JOHN FRANCO IS BORN.
No walks, please.
1978: THE CAMP DAVID ACCORDS ARE SIGNED BY ISRAEL AND EGYPT.
Yeah, that worked well.
1983: VANESSA WILLIAMS BECOMES THE FIRST BLACK MISS AMERICA.
What nude photos?
1996: POLITICIAN SPIRO AGNEW DIES.
Almost exactly 23 years after his political career did.
1997: COMIC RED SKELTON DIES.
Two seagulls......
2001: THE NEW YORK STOCK EXCHANGE REOPENS FOR TRADING AFTER THE SEPTEMBER 11 ATTACKS, THE LONGEST CLOSURE SINCE THE GREAT DEPRESSION.
I remember it so vividly.
2006: PATRICIA KENNEDY LAWFORD DIES.
No conspiracy theory needed. Natural causes.
2011: THE OCCUPY WALL STREET MOVEMENT BEGINS.
Some haven't bathed since.
2013: BUSINESSMAN EIJI TOYODA DIES.
Death. You got it. Toyoda.
Dinner last night: Chinese chicken salad.
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