We hear this all the time in our carbon footprint worlds. We're doing our part to reduce paper. We're going to make a dent in the forest. We are saving trees for our children and our grandchildren.
Meanwhile, I have never been more inundated with paper.
Look at your daily mail. How much of it goes right down the garbage chute? The paper-wasting envelopes and pamphlets from Capital One alone can account for two Redwoods. I even tried to stop them by sending the junk back by saying that I wouldn't consider their services until they dropped the bloated Alec Baldwin as their spokesperson. Well, they switched to Jennifer Garner. Now I simply shred the stuff.
Look at your Sunday newspaper. Try and lift it. It is loaded down with store flyers and coupons. Oh, wow, 35 cents off for Heinz Ketchup. Snip, snip, snip. More paper being abused. You look at the front page of the Los Angeles Times. It's got a story about our vanishing wilderness. I know where it went. To make the circular from Best Buy.
You see the craziness I am talking about? I actually got a solicitation letter from an ecology group. The envelope was filled with so much paper. They mention that they used exclusively recycled paper. Uh-huh. Prove it.
Now my favorite baseball team is paperless. They went through this process for the first time in 2014. No more tickets in the mail. No more waiting for my season ticket package to be delivered by FedEx. Now they are provided on a website. You can download the tickets to your phone, but that doesn't work for yours truly. I sell off half the season. So, I wound up printing the entire season.
Three pieces of paper per game. Two tickets plus the parking pass.
82 dates counting an exhibition.
246 different sheets of white paper.
Add in the postseason which I just printed.
9 dates.
27 more different sheets of white paper.
My ball team has cleaned up their carbon footprint. And sprained mine.
The act of conservation is clearly misguided here in America. We're trying to embrace trees. And yet killing them so they can tell us they're embracing trees.
I crumple everything these days. And I am proud to do so.
Dinner last night: Chicken sausage and salad.
1 comment:
Paperless my ass. The bozo L.A. City Council banned plastic bags so now my kitchen is crammed with paper bags in record numbers. More trees chopped to serve another bad idea shoved down our throats by pols too dumb to think it through. Duh!
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