THE Dumbest Thing I Have Ever Done

Isn't this a gorgeous photo?  May and October are the very best (and only) months to visit New York.   I just did and had a grand time, mixing a little business with pleasure.

Except it was not without incident.   And you would think that dislocating your own jaw by coughing would be the lone negative of a spring trip like this.   

Um, not by a long shot.   Because this excursion featured perhaps the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life.  And, for those of you keeping score on me, you know I am capable of doing dumb things.   Well, this was the pinnacle of stupidity for me.  I probably shouldn't even share it.   But, hell, my life is an open blog and you need to fill it on a daily basis.  There are no exceptions.

So, let me set the stage.   I had a great night out with an old friend.  I had dropped him off and was maneuvering my rental Jeep through some very quiet and desolate suburban streets.   All was quiet.

I had loaded some junk from my apartment in the back of the car.  I am slowly and systematically paring down the New York abode.  I had meant to dispose of it in the apartment complex dumpster, but I had forgotten to do so.

But, wait.   As I drove down a dark street, I see....a dumpster.   Obviously, at the side of the road because some nice homeowner was doing renovations that they probably saw on HGTV.  This is perfect for me.   I can do my garbage outlay right here and now.

I popped out of the Jeep and walked three steps.   I suddenly realized my mistake.   

I never put the car into "P."  I turned to see the Jeep slowly rolling down the street.

Yes, Dad, I know.   It's funny how his voice still comes in loud and clear as if they allow streaming in Heaven.

I reacted quickly.   I had left the car door open so I grabbed onto the side of the door jamb.  By the way, this is a great way to mess up the muscles in your shoulders as my personal trainer confirmed when I got back to LA.  

The forward motion of the car pulled me down and I was then being dragged on the street as I held onto the car.   By the way, this is a great way to put a gaping hole in your mesh New Balance sneakers, which had to be replaced the very next day.

Eventually, after being dragged ten or so feet, I had to let go.  The Jeep continued on its merry way.   As I rose to my feet in the middle of this loneliness, all I could do was yell "stop."   

After another thirty feet, the car surprisingly did just that.   My father also working in mysterious ways.

I was now a half block away from the dumpster so that idea lost a degree of convenience.  I got back into the car and reasoned how this could have happened.  Okay, when you drive your own car, everything becomes a reflex action.   You go through your motions without thinking.   With a different car, your habits are disrupted.   Things are in a different spot.

Oh, who the heck am I kidding?  This was the dumbest thing I have ever done.

Thanks, Dad.  Now you will excuse me while I put some more analgesic cream on my shoulders.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich and salad.