1509: IN NORTHERN ITALY, FRENCH FORCES DEFEAT THE VENETIANS.
They were blind-sided.
1607: JAMESTOWN, VIRGINIA IS SETTLED AS AN ENGLISH COLONY.
By this date the following year, half of the homes are already being flipped.
1608: THE PROTESTANT UNION IS FOUNDED IN AUHAUSEN.
Oh, good. Now I have some place to go on Sunday mornings.
1610: HENRY IV OF FRANCE IS ASSASSINATED BRINGING LOUIS XIII TO THE THRONE.
Hopefully, he has a good run as monarch. But, wait, I've read ahead...
1643: FOUR-YEAR-OLD LOUIS XIV BECOMES KING OF FRANCE UPON THE DEATH OF HIS FATHER, LOUIS XIII.
Well, I guess 33 years is a long run. But he's no FDR.
1787: IN PHILADELPHIA, DELEGATES CONVENE A CONSTITUTIONAL CONVENTION TO WRITE A NEW CONSTITUTION FOR THE US.
The Constitution. Remember when we paid attention to that?
1796: EDWARD JENNER ADMINISTERS THE FIRST SMALLPOX VACCINATION.
This won't hurt at all.
1804: THE LEWIS AND CLARK EXPEDITION BEGINS ITS HISTORIC JOURNEY BY TRAVELING UP THE MISSOURI RIVER.
A thought. Wouldn't it have been easier to go down it?
1870: THE FIRST GAME OF RUGBY IN NEW ZEALAND IS PLAYED.
This is obviously a big deal if you're a rugby fan in New Zealand.
1889: THE CHILDREN'S CHARITY NATIONAL SOCIETY FOR THE PREVENTION OF CRUELTY TO CHILDREN IS LAUNCHED IN LONDON.
Wait till you meet Michael Jackson.
1921: ACTOR RICHARD DEACON IS BORN.
Was there a sitcom he didn't appear on???
1925: VIRGINIA WOOLF'S NOVEL "MRS. DALLOWAY" IS PUBLISHED.
I'm not afraid of her.
1936: SINGER BOBBY DARIN IS BORN.
The Knife. Macked.
1939: LINA MEDINA BECOMES THE YOUNGEST CONFIRMED MOTHER IN MEDICAL HISTORY AT THE AGE OF FIVE.
Gee, isn't playing with your Colorforms enough?
1940: ROTTERDAM IS BOMBED BY THE GERMAN LUFTWAFFE.
After which, the German army got bombed in a local tavern.
1948: ISRAEL IS DECLARED TO BE AN INDEPENDENT STATE. IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE DECLARATION, THEY ARE ATTACKED BY THE NEIGHBORING ARAB STATES.
Setting up a soap opera that will run longer than the Guiding Light.
1961: THE FREEDOM RIDERS BUS IS FIRE-BOMBED IN ALABAMA AND THE PROTESTERS ARE BEATEN BY AN ANGRY MOB.
You should have taken the train.
1969: ACTRESS CATE BLANCHETT IS BORN.
This year's Best Actress Oscar winner.
1970: ACTRESS BILLIE BURKE DIES.
Go ahead. Try and click your heels now.
1973: SKYLAB, THE US' FIRST SPACE STATION, IS LAUNCHED.
I wonder if any child born in 1973 is named Skylab.
1984: FACEBOOK INVENTOR MARK ZUCKERBERG IS BORN.
He turns 30 and that alone makes me want to unfriend him.
1987: ACTRESS RITA HAYWORTH DIES.
Va-va-va-voom.
1988: A DRUNK DRIVER TRAVELING THE WRONG WAY ON A HIGHWAY IN KENTUCKY CRASHES INTO A SCHOOL BUS CARRYING A CHURCH YOUTH GROUP. 27 PEOPLE DIE.
This is not the kind of offense you can erase by going to traffic school.
1997: MAGICIAN HARRY BLACKSTONE JR. DIES.
And, poof, he's gone.
1998: SINGER FRANK SINATRA DIES.
Good riddance. My favorite story about this? They tried to contact Nancy Sinatra to come to the hospital but she had taken her phone off the hook so she could watch the series finale of Seinfeld.
2003: BASKETBALL STAR DAVE DEBUSSCHERE DIES.
Of a sudden heart attack. A neighbor of mine in NY had just gone to lunch with him that very day.
2003: ACTOR ROBERT STACK DIES.
The undertaker will have to get his hands on the body, so he's not so untouchable.
2013: NIGERIAN PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN DECLARES A STATE OF EMERGENCY DUE TO TERRORIST ACTS.
Included for one reason only....Good luck with that!
Dinner last night: Pepperoni pizza at the Dodger game.
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