This showplace was built in the 1940s and the walls inside are decorated with a view of Hollywood from the same era. The décor itself is worth the price of admission alone. Sadly, it couldn't compete with the multiplexes and closed a few years back. Some enterprising folks have re-opened it. They are playing now mostly documentaries and silent movies, but I will try to frequent it when I can.
Meanwhile, there's the mainstream trash being recycled by Hollywood this weekend. You know the drill, ladies and gents. I'll meander through the movie pages of the Los Angeles Times and give you my gut reaction to the swill currently stinking up the joint.
Hmmm. I wonder what's playing at the Crest this weekend.
Finding Vivian Maier: Give me one good reason why.
The Amazing Spider Man 2: The first one was less than amazing, so this is fraudulent advertising. But it does have Emma Stone so my hormones and I will likely Netflix it at some point.
Bad Johnson: Imagine "Ted" except with a penis instead of a teddy bear. Yes, that is the plot, folks.
Fed Up: A documentary on childhood obesity. Count on Michelle Obama seeing it....with a big bucket of buttered popcorn on her widening lap.
Captain America - The Winter Soldier: I Marvel at how many of these are turning into movies.
Brick Mansions: Paul Walker's next-to-last film. There's one more after this. Or two if you count the TMZ video where his car ran into a tree.
The Double: Jesse Eisenberg as a timid office worker who finds a new hire looks just like him. The Parent Trap meets Wall Street.
Chef: Jon Favreau stars, writes, and directs this comedy about a guy and his food truck. May not be for everybody's taste. Or neighborhood.
Cyber-Seniors: A documentary about older people learning to use a computer. A better title is "I Didn't Press Anything."
God's Pocket: I see Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the cast and that prompts a Yogi Berra line. "I guess he made this before he died."
Neighbors: A comedy with Seth Rogen and Zac Efron and that means there won't be a single laugh. Paging Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi who did a similar movie a hundred years ago.
Mom's Night Out: Moms go out while Dads watch the kids. Are there no babysitters working any more?
Fading Gigolo: Woody Allen acts in a movie he did not direct or write. John Turturro runs the show here and you'll probably wish Woody had a heavier hand in it all.
Only Lovers Left Alive: More teen vampires. And when I was a kid, all we were worried about were hickeys.
Noah: I hear it never leaves the dock.
Draft Day: Reviewed here a while back. Surprisingly good. I liked a Kevin Costner movie. Go figure.
Transcendence: Johnny Depp's mind is kept inside a computer. You won't need a lot of megabytes for that.
Divergent: Teenagers fight to save the world. I liked it better when Jughead and Veronica were simply trading homework assignments.
Cesar Chavez: Lettuce stay home. Okay, you groaned. So did I when I typed it.
Godzilla: What? Again? It's now a tie between who makes more movies? The lizard from Japan or Morgan Freeman? Okay, Godzilla is the better actor.
Breastmilk: A documentary about the public debate on breastfeeding. Frankly, as soon as a boy turns 17, he needs to find a girlfriend.
Stage Fright: A masked killer massacres his way through a musical theater camp. I really wish this was the last episode of Glee.
Million Dollar Arm: A baseball scout finds a phenom in India. But who will fix my computer?
How We Got Away With It: No clue, but that should be the title of a documentary about the Affordable Health Care bill.
Don Peyote: Stoners become obsessed with a doomsday scenario. Better known as a pitch meeting at Paramount.
Bears: Reviewed here. Hated here.
DamNation: A documentary on the changing attitude about large dams in the US. Sounds dam boring.
Bicycling with Moliere: French. Non.
Queen Margot: A restored version of a 1994 movie that I never heard of in the first place.
Under the Skin: An alien stalks men in Scotland. Why not try HootManMatch.com.
The Lunchbox: Middle class life in Mumbai. I'd schedule a colonoscopy instead.
Locke: A real time drama as a man drives a BMW in England. There's only one actor in the film so you really don't have to stay for the credits.
Rio 2: Strictly for those who saw Rio 1. I didn't even know there was a Rio 1.
The Quiet Ones: Another yarn about paranormal activity. Frankly, I'd love to meet a ghost. As long as it's Casper.
Palo Alto: Three high school students are bored. Just three? You should have gone to Mount Vernon High.
The Other Woman: For those of you thinking Monica Lewinsky's return includes the silver screen, you are mistaken. It's worse. Cameron Diaz has returned.
Heaven Is For Real: Reviewed here just the other day. Can I help you scroll up?
Devil's Knot: The true story of three Memphis teenagers who killed children in a satanic ritual. Could also be entitled "Hell is for Real."
Noah: Is this still around? Lingering for 40 days and 40 nights.
Legends of Oz - Dorothy's Return: A cartoon about Dorothy's return to Oz. This time, she flew Jet Blue instead of the house.
The German Doctor: All about Josef Mengele, Auschwitz's Angel of Death. Like we needed to revisit this asshole.
The Railway Man: Colin Firth as a British Army officer held in a Japanese POW camp during World War II. Nicole Kidman co-stars for those three of you who like her.
Redwood Highway: An old lady travels 80 miles on foot to attend her granddaughter's wedding. Some people will go to great lengths to avoid getting on a Greyhound bus.
Belle: An illegitimate mixed race daughter of a Royal Navy Admiral is raised by her aristocratic great-uncle. Back in the 60s, Don Fedderson would have produced this as a sitcom with Brian Keith and Sebastian Cabot.
Wolf Creek 2: Just how much money did an unknown movie called "Wolf Creek 1" make to warrant a second movie?
A Night in Old Mexico: Robert Duvall as an elderly Mexican rancher. Seriously.
Half of a Yellow Sun: Two sisters in 1960s Nigeria. And, in the time it took for me to type that logline, I just drove right past the theater.
Dinner last night: Had a big lunch so just a small turkey sandwich.
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