#MeTooChristmasGift

 Give her nuts and she's liable to kick you in yours.

 Make your wife look like Lena Horne for Christmas.

 So what does she expect?  I want photos.

 And now she can shoot you.

I wonder if Bob Hope could get by giving Dolores a box of chocolates for Christmas.

 Don't light up too close to that Christmas tree.

 Did Ann Sothern die of lung cancer?  Just sayin'.

 She gave him underwear but she might have sewed up the opening in front.

 A fruit cake?!  Go fuck yourself.

 To create even more space in the house, she should just ask him to move out.

 For the active shooter in your life...

Oh, that's what they're for...

Dinner last night:  Cocktail snacks at the home of my next door neighbors.