Flying Blind

Over the next several weeks, I am going to be dealing with some airplane round trips to Dallas, Chicago, New York, and, inexplicably, Cincinnati. That last stop will effectively end my lifelong boycott of all things Ohio --- a moratorium I was kind of proud of. Doing all this aviating in the middle of the summer season has me dreading it as if it were a proctology exam being administered by a porcupine.

People have come back to the sky in Cecil B DeMille numbers. The veritable cast of thousands is descending upon airports, packing everything but Fluffy the Cat for their (hopefully) round trips to New York, Los Angeles, and any other city that is remotably better than those burgs you might infecting the middle of this country.

And they're all in the way.

Air travel has been reduced to nothing more than a Greyhound bus in the sky. Slobs on the bus. Slobs on a plane. Interchangeable. Dragging their bags of Funyons and other treats you buy off the rack at your local AM/PM. Lugging suitcases on wheels and then trying to cram them into overhead compartments as if they are their own personal storage lockers.

And the airlines are drowning.

At this time of summer, it is very easy to be delayed by weather. I can remember one flight back from Dallas and we literally flew over a very potent weather front. It was Nature's version of the Disney Electrical Parade. Very powerful. Very scary. And it happens all the time, essentially rendering airports incoherent. Some airports are worse than others. An eye dropper of water onto the tarmac At Newark sends their air traffic controllers into a frenzy that takes hours to play out. The baggage claim at American's JFK terminal is so far from the gates that it qualifies as an Apollo space mission. It takes hours to get your stuff on a dry day. The slightest hint of a cloud brings that process to a crawl.

Beyond the natural interventions, there is one more bigger problem that makes summer flying about as inviting as a smorgasbord at a cesspool. It's the human factor. Sadly, we have to deal with each other.

Take the humanoids working on the side of the airlines. Know that there are less of them than there were a year ago at this time. Know even more that are a lot less of them than there were 6 years ago at this time. The airlines have done what every other business in this country has done. Figure out a way to have less employees. The sad thing about my bi-coastal existence is that I can actually see American Airline employees more frequently than I see some friends. And they will tell me that they are being asked to work longer hours and more days. It's no different than what is happening in the nursing world or any other service organization. And, still, they are expected to put a smile on their face.

And the recipients of said smiles? The general and generally inconsiderate public. People of the "me" generation that requires instant gratification for the slightest and/or most complex of issues. So, there's your unhealthy mix. Folks being tapped out at their jobs, which largely include the minute-by-minute satisfaction of an increasing demanding and abusive populace. I've been witness to more than one jackass in an airport who verbally abuses some poor shlump behind the counter. But, now, I am seeing and hearing more examples of where the airline personnel are fighting back. Getting snarky. Surly. It was inevitable. Right? Hell, no. But, can I blame them? Double hell, no.

It's going to be an ugly month for me. But, what's the alternative? Greyhound? Have you seen what rides there?

Dinner last night: German Smoked Salami on Baguette.