The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Or is the Anaheim Angels of Los Angeles? The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Orange County? Or the Angels of the Lost Civilization?

They've changed the name multiple times and, regardless, I've been there rarely. If I go south of LAX, it's usually only to invade Disneyland for a day. A few months ago, I actually wound up in the Angels parking lot when I went to see Don Rickles perform at the Grove of Anaheim. But, surprisingly, this baseball fan had yet to set foot ever in the Angels' ballyard. which has undergone an amazing transition since it was first erected as one of those baseball/football stadiums in the mid 60s. I don't do American League often because I frequently have better things to do with life over the four hour period that usually encompasses one game in that circuit. But, this latest long national nightmare had to come to an end eventually. And it did last Saturday when a visiting friend from Dallas scored some luxury seats from a client, placing us several rows behind the Texas Rangers' dugout.

As a kid, I remember watching games from Anaheim on TV and seeing this big "A" outside the outfield wall. Well, once they decided to remake this place into a quaint baseball experience, this monstrosity got moved to the bowels of the parking lot. It's there probably nobody could figure out how to price it on Craig's List. Nevertheless, the Big "A" remains and it instantly reminds you of any other strip mall you might find in Orange County.

When they redid this place over ten years ago, they installed this pile of rocks in center field. I'm not exactly sure what they are meant to symbolize except maybe they were available for a good deal on e-Bay. I guess it's the Angels' version of the Yankees' Memorial Park, which is really nothing but an extension of Woodlawn Cemetery.

Nevertheless, before a game, you can walk around this synthetic Stonehenge and actually see home plate through a hole in the middle. And the waterfall, which might be nothing more than the backflow from the bathrooms in the press box.

The entire place has a very intimate feel, which is amazing given that it used to house a lot more seats when it was a football stadium. With its focus on family-friendly entertainment, there are a lot of goofy gimmicks between innings. They pull some dorky fan from the stands and get them to run down the left field line to try and pull third base from its moorings. It was a "Beat The Clock" stunt that probably had Bud Collyer spinning in his casket. There were lots of other promotions that just screamed out loud the words "Lawrence, Kansas." I couldn't believe we were just thirty miles south of the second largest city in America. This was definitely a crowd that sported multiple frequent dining cards for Applebee's.

Our luxury seats were quite close to the action. You can yell something to a ballplayer that they would actually react to. Some jerk in front of me kept taunting the Rangers' Milton Bradley. Now, given Milton's past anger management challenges, this is not a smart move. Indeed, if Milton had climbed into the stands and punched this asshole in the face, I would have been very happy to autograph a ball for him.

The scoreboard is typical, but, for some odd reason, the ball-strike count is very hard to find. But you can easily find how many walks Jared Weaver has given while wearing blue boxers.

A rather famous feature of the Angel scoreboard is the rally monkey who appears around the sixth or seventh inning if the Angels are trailing. We were not disappointed on Saturday night. And the damn thing worked. As soon as the monkey showed up, the Angels pulled ahead. Of course, they milk the rally monkey here for as many bucks as they can. If you go into the clubhouse store, you can purchase rally monkeys of every shape, size, and color. Just goes to show you how gullible these suburban pinheads can be.

Oh, by the way, here's the one that now hangs from my bedroom door.
Even sophisticated people from the civilization from the north can have a weak moment now and then.

Dinner last night: Hot sausage sandwich at the Dodger game.