Wednesday Being Wednesday

And it's me being me, so everybody listen in.

---The season premiere of Saturday Night Live is this weekend and who wants to bet that the opening sketch has Amy Poehler playing Sarah Palin?

---Comedy writers are licking their chops at the thought of several months and maybe years with the Governor of Alaska.

---Tons of material. SNL might even manage to get a laugh out of this.

---Which will be big news since SNL hasn't been funny since John Belushi was still vertical.

---Olympic champion Michael Phelps will be the first host and we'll all get to see how well he reads off cue cards.

---We all got to see how well he manages to do freestyle when not in the pool. He was in Vegas last week and that was a breaststroke on that stripper.

---Rim shot.

---The real comedy these days is all the sniping between the Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates. It's like the Jeffersons came back to TV.

---So Obama's folks tell everybody that Palin's moose-shooting, snowboarding hubby got a DUI 23 years ago.

---Uh-huh. Wasn't that about the same time their guy was snorting it up in college?

---It will get to the point where McCain will say, "my father can beat up your father."

---Of course, one father they will need to exhume. The other they will have to find.

---Call me when a real issue is discussed.

---Maybe we knock Barack and Sarah out of the box. Elect McCain-Biden and force the two old crows to get their asses over to some middle ground.

---Michelle Obama has been virtually muzzled. She's sort of like Richie Cunningham's brother on Happy Days. The one that went upstairs and didn't come down for the rest of the series.

---Kiss of Death for Obama? Barbra Streisand is singing at a fundraiser for him next week in LA. She did the same for Gore and Kerry.

---That will be $28,500 per ticket. And I saw her do the same act two years ago for 150 bucks.

---Meanwhile, Streisand will be one of this year's Kennedy Center honorees. Sitting up there in the Presidential box.

---With George W. Bush. Now that I would pay 28 grand to see.

---So, the government now owns 50% of all Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac mortgages. And that essentially means that I hold part of the note on your house.

---It will get worse and worse until we're all stuck with Elly Mae. Living in the same shack the Clampetts had before they left for Beverly Hills.

---Still, with this lagging economy, try to find a parking space at Best Buy any Saturday afternoon.

---All those people aren't there to buy flashlight batteries.

---There will be nothing to eat in the kitchen, but that Fox football will look damn good on the 65 inch LCD in the living room.

---Speaking of which, LA's 99 Cent Stores had a price increase. Most items now costs 99.99999 cents.

---Note to non-Math majors: that would be one dollar.

---You all know about that deadline to convert over your TV sets to digital. I'm wondering who will be that one person in America who fails to comply.

---And what happens to them? The TV explodes? Maybe they experience internal combustion.

---Hopefully they are watching Oprah at the time.

Dinner last night: Crispy spicy beef at the Cheesecake Factory.