Wednesday: The Last Day for Some Turkeys

And those that make it past Thursday will probably be cutlets by Christmas. You just can't win.

---Flying back from NY, JFK Airport has an interesting car lane. "Kiss and Fly."

---Cute idea, but I hope your towelhead cab driver doesn't get any bright ideas.

---Monday at JFK was quiet, but the check-in desk people were already armoring up for Tuesday and Wednesday.

---With all these folks headed to Grandma's, is the food there that good?

---It wasn't at mine. She could do baked goods splendidly, but...

---Best example: Campbell's Condensed Tomato Soup was used on top of spaghetti.

---I had a real nut next to me in business class. She pissed all over the meal choices because she tries to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

---Except this dimwit proceeded to down one glass of champagne after another while simultaneously inhaling chocolate chip cookies.

---It's truly a shame when nice things are wasted on assholes.

---The lady who invented the Slinky toy died at the age of 90.

---I'm guessing that, in her later years, she had more trouble getting down the stairs.

---Think about it. I'll wait.

---Well, Barry Obama is destined to be our first "green" President. Because he's doing a great job of recycling Bill Clinton's used employees.

---By the way, Mr. Bill has to be the happiest person in America now that his battleaxe will be flying around as Secretary of State.

---I'm thinking that he's been dancing around in his underwear like Tom Cruise in "Risky Business."

---Duane Reades in Chappaqua are buying up Trojan condoms in bulk.

---With the country's economy circling the drain, everybody is comparing this to the great Depression of 1929.

---Like they were there? Huge disconnect. Our unemployment rate is 8%. In 1929, the US unemployment rate was 30%!

---And people weren't out of work because they overspent for a 65 inch high def radio.

---Obama's already inched toward the center and dropped about a half dozen of those brain-dead campaign promises.

---If he's not careful, I may learn to tolerate him.

---But, have no fear, I will always detest you, Michelle.

---Who the hell eats a turnip anyway?

---Holidays in LA are great because everybody clears out of town. In a city where everything is supposed to be just twenty minutes away, you can actually get someplace in forty minutes.

---Unless, of course, you are mindless and need to hit a mall the day after Thanksgiving.

---Stores are actually calling it "Black Friday Sales" as if it's a good thing you are headed into Kohl's at 4AM.

---And if you're handing out gift cards this year, you better make sure that store is still in business come January.

---The only folks working on Thanksgiving are those D-list stars riding in the Macy's Parade. Of course, none of them can find work the other 364 days of the year.

---Who's that on top of the Empire State Building float? Why, it's Joyce Bulifant!!

---If the government bails out Citigroup, do we now change the name of the net Mets stadium to "U.S. Treasury Field?"

Okay, now go stuff yourselves!

Dinner last night: Shrimp and chicken gumbo at the Cheesecake Factory.