Friday, December 26, 2008

Your 2008 Holiday Weekend Movie Guide


The very best time to go to the movies in Los Angeles is during the week between Christmas and New Year's. Everything has opened to qualify for the Oscars and any celebrities still in town venture out to the Arclight Cinemas. If you stand in the lobby of the complex, you are guaranteed a star sighting.

I'll be venturing out. Will you? In the event you are, here's my handy dandy gut knee jerk reaction to what's out there right now courtesy of the LA Times and any trailers I might have seen recently. Have yourself a time.

The Reader: Would make a nifty double bill with "The Notebook." Kate Winslet gets it on with some German teenager and, naturally, they work the Holocaust in somehow.

Frost/Nixon: Thus far, the best movie I saw in 2008. Go! Run!

Slumdog Millionaire: Big, big Oscar buzz around the Hollywood hive. I, however, saw it and was not stung. Incredibly overrated and pretentious. Who wants to spend two hours with the filthy citizens of Mumbai?

Twilight: I do not collect Barbie dolls, so how could I possibly qualify to go see this?

Cadillac Records: The history of the record company. Two frightful words: Beyonce co-stars.

Happy Go Lucky: Still hanging around for Oscar consideration. I hear the lead character is hopelessly annoying. I have enough of those people in my real life.

Revolutionary Road: Leonardo and Kate again, but this time only the marriage is on the rocks and not the ship. My guess is that the movie is stylish but empty.

Milk: Major Oscar buzz for Sean Penn as the millionaire who started Borden's. Or did I read that review wrong?

Nothing Like the Holidays: A dysfunctional Puerto Rican family in Chicago celebrates the holidays. With Debra Messing as the token Jew, who obviously lost a bet with her agent.

Bedtime Stories: Adam Sandler. Next.

Rachel Getting Married: Lingering to get star Anne Hathaway Oscar attention. I saw it. She's great. The movie is dreary.

Waltz With Bashir: "Top Hat" if it were filmed in the Middle East. With Abdul Astaire and Fatima Rogers.

The Spirit: Based on a comic book I never heard of. When do we see the screen version of "Gasoline Alley?"

Last Chance Harvey: Dustin Hoffman embracing one of his last chances for an Oscar. The tagline is "it's never too late to fall in love." Says who?

Marley and Me: Jennifer Aniston trades in Brad Pitt for a pooch who is probably hitting the newspaper more than he does.

The Day the Earth Stood Still: A needless remake of a classic. Why do they ever bother? Does some artist look at the Mona Lisa and wonder what she would look like with a cigar and an Afro?

Valkyrie: Tom Cruise as a ruthless Nazi. No great acting stretch there. Scientologists get free Sno-Caps if they identify themselves at the box office.

Bolt: Despite it being the movie of this year's El Capitan Christmas show, I have not seen it. Disney animation has really suffered the past several years.

Doubt: The screen version of the play about some Catholic priest in the 60s who apparently diddled with some young boy and I will be there with a large popcorn.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: Insiders say this has the inside track to Best Picture. But, the reviews are mixed and most say it's nothing but a three hour gimmick. That's a long sit even for a good movie, let alone a mediocre one. And, does anybody else think that the old short guy in the trailer reminds them of that little midget king from "Darby O'Gill and the Little People?"

Yes Man: Jim Carrey? No, man.

Australia: I know people who loved it and people who hated it. I will be one of those in the middle who will avoid it. From what I saw in the trailer, it looks like "Out of Australia." And I slept through that Africa nonsense.

The Tale of Despereaux: Non!

Seven Pounds: Will Smith's annual enema for an Oscar. He is a terrible actor. Get over him please.

Four Christmases: This blog has featured a lot more comedy about the holiday than this dreck. Just who does find Vince Vaughn funny?

Gran Torino: Clint Eastwood's swan song and his movies are always good stories. Dirty Harry moves next door to a bunch of Asians. Hey, Clint, I'll load up the shotgun for you.

The Wrestler: Mickey Rourke skewers the wrestling industry. Any cameo appearances for Bobo Brazil and Gorilla Monsoon?

And, if you're in Los Angeles and none of the above strikes your cinematic fancy, the Aero Theater in Santa Monica is showing classic screwball comedies all weekend. Perhaps your best bet for entertainment.

Dinner last night: Baked ham dinner for Christmas.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is now my favorite blog of 2008.

DING! DING! DING! DING!