A Warm and Cozy Wednesday

The fire's getting warm. And I'm even hotter.

---If you’ve watched any cable TV over the past few weeks, you must know all about Snuggies. This mail order piece of chintzy fleece that is a couch potato’s wet dream.

---They tell you there is some great innovation. I tell you that this is a fucking robe on backwards!

---Look at the numbskulls wearing this. It’s a cult looking for Cherry Kool-Aid.

---Either that or some people who lost on their way to a Star Trek convention.

---They tell you that your arms are amazingly free while wearing the Snuggie.

---And I’ll tell you that your sleeves will dangle over the flame while you’re heating up a cup of tea. And this cheap material will burn you all the way to Dental Record Town.

---Yeah, let’s promote something that actually makes it even easier for people to sit on their fat asses and clog their arteries with even more plaque.

---Even more confounding this week was that slob who gave birth to eight kids.

---Miracle of God? Hardly. This human dumpster was injected with eight different embryos.

---This goes with the other six mutations she already has at home. And one of them is autistic, so that automatically increases the degree of difficulty by four.

---And the father is…? On his way back to Iraq, apparently.

---We should all get to go to the baptisms, since these kids will be our financial responsiblities until eighteen years from now.

---If she wants to breast feed, she’s going to have to use one of those oil derricks for a pump.

---Is there such a thing as Carpal Breast Syndrome?

---Gee, if she wanted to start a collection as a hobby, why didn't she start with some Beanie Babies?

---Of course, she wanted her identity kept anonymous to protect her privacy.

---You have eight kids artificially? Your privacy goes the way of moon rocks and Silly Putty.

---Allegedly, this piece of dirt paid for her embryo injections as a result of a law suit stemming from a "work-related injury."

---Ah, there's that Carpal Breast thing again.

---Somebody please give these fourteen kids away to parents who deserve them.

---We’ve got trash like this sucking up our tax dollars. Yet, we’re supposed to embrace all nationalities and people getting dumped into our country.

---Kumbaya, my ass!

---Hopefully, the economy will get as stimulated as this woman's uterus.

---By the way, how the hell does over 300 million dollars for sexually transmitted diseases get into an economic stimulus package?

---That only makes money if they start to price gouge pencillin.

---Or if every American male sleeps with Paris Hilton.

---STDs creating jobs? Now why didn't Franklin Roosevelt think of that?!!!

---Okay, Cabinet members, a show of hands, please. How many of you have paid your taxes?

---Hmm, I see.........none.

---Who the hell conducted the screening for this goofballs Obama selected? His daughter's Girl Scout troop.

---I can hear it now. "Daddy, Mr. Daschle should be in your Cabinet. He bought two boxes of Samoas and some Thin Mints."

---Speaking of some bad vetting processes, what about the government agencies on 24?

---I'm digging the new season, but how many times do we find out there's some enemy mole that slipped through into the FBI.

---The ground hog saw his shadow. Six more weeks of winter and four more years of Michelle Obama.

Dinner last night: pasta and meatball leftovers---always better the second day.