Wednesday, December 2, 2009

And Wednesday's Very Special Guests Are...

Take a look at the guy on the left. Not only did these two crash the party, but they also brought along their cab driver.

---Just when you completely have lost faith in Washington DC's ability to make you laugh, this happens.

---By the way, the plot was done years ago. Remember when Lucy tried to sneak into Ricky's rehearsal at the Tropicana nightclub.

---Who's in charge of these White House parties anyway? I'm betting they even ran out of onion dip.

---It's obviously very easy to get into the White House. Just look at how Obama got there.

---POTUS has thrown the Secret Service under the bus for this snafu, but now it's coming out that the real fuck-up here came from his own party planner, Desiree Rogers (pictured on the side).

---Desiree, who also looks like one of Martha's Vandellas, is one of Michelle's chums from Chicago. Which means that "incompetence" is listed as a hobby on her resume.

---This chick will get none of the heat over this. Because Obama doesn't want to hear all the yammering from the screaming wench on the other side of the mattress.

---Jeez, Ms. Rogers, I'm thinking the next party you plan should be at Chuck E. Cheese.

---I had better security working the guests at my place on Thanksgiving.

---And we had onion dip left over.

---You just know that terrorists are watching this play out and laughing their Arab asses off.

---Hell, Desiree Rogers probably already got picked up by one at Starbucks this morning.

---It was tougher to get into a Best Buy last Friday.

---If you went out shopping on the day after Thanksgiving and got to the store before 8AM, your friendship with me has officially expired. Please turn in your ID card and your "Len Speaks" decoder.

---I watched the news reports about all these idiots on line at shopping malls. And I took a good look at them.

---Now I know why they call it "Black Friday."

---Speaking of which, the day was even darker for that dumbbell Tiger Woods, who may or may not have suffered injuries due to a car crash.

---Come on, Stupid, admit it. Your wife took a nine iron to your head.

---Because she finally figured out where you've been sinking your putts.

---At 2:45 in the morning. Can you really golf at that hour?

---I've heard about early tee times, but that is ridiculous.

---But maybe that's the best time to get somebody to handle your club.

---Or grip your bag.

---Okay, I'll stop.

---Now, I'm totally fantasizing. What if Obama and Desiree are really...

---Somebody smack me to my senses, please.

---I've got a great cable system in LA. Here's how they described on the program guide the Paul McCartney concert that aired on Thanksgiving night.

---"Paul McCartney returns to New York and gives a dynamic concert at legendary Shea Stadium."

---I watched this show primarily because I had friends attend the live event and they raved about it.

---The music was terrific. The camerawork, however, was from the Braille Institute.

---It was so sloppily and cheaply put together that the producers used video that some of the fans had shot on their cell phones.

---Meanwhile, somebody please bring Paul in for a re-do on that horrible plastic surgery.

---It's was like Joan Rivers had become one of the Beatles.

---The way he looks now, if Paul sang "I Am The Walrus," nobody would dispute it.

---For five minutes, I thought I had accidentally tuned into a PBS pledge drive concert with Johnny Mathis.

---Perhaps he should have just turned to his plastic surgeon and said, "let it be."

---Now, I'll definitely stop.

---No, no, one more. Meredith Baxter has just revealed that she's gay.

---So, Bridget really loved Betty?


Dinner last night: Grilled beef sausage with beet salad.


Anonymous said...

Are Tiger and Desiree ready for the Black Fuck-ups Hall of Fame? There's always room.

Anonymous said...

Re the pic: who does this bitch think she is--Tyra Banks? You work for the White House, honey, how about a little professionalism?