Wednesday, February 10, 2010

70% Chance of Wednesday

And look! The Weather Service was even nice enough to put "Wednesday" into the headline on their map. It's blog-ready!

---For the first time in over a year, they're shoveling something else these days in Washington, DC.

---Must have been a real bitch for the President over the weekend. Looking out the window and seeing all that white.

---Undoubtedly, it was no bargain for him being cooped up in the White House. The wife was home.

---Probably putting those two kids on the scales in her raging fight against American obesity.

---Here's my note to the First Lady: I'll put down the Hershey bar when you tell me how you keep your hair so straight.

---FLOTUS wants healthy snacks in school vending machines. Frankly, I can't see some kid scrounging around for two quarters so he can buy himself a carrot.

---New York is getting socked with the snow today and I don't miss those days.

---Here, in Los Angeles, we're getting mud. And the President actually may like that. Looking out the window and seeing all that brown.

---Yes, I am aware that it's Black History Month.

---Looks like the next politician to go down will be the optically challenged New York Governor Patterson. There are all sorts of rumors around.

---So far, they are nothing but blind items.

---No, it's not Blind Black History Month.

---I'm really not one to spread malicitious gossip.

---But...

---Allegedly, the good Governor was using state troopers to cover up some involvement with cocaine and prostitutes.

---But, I would never cast stones.

---Yeah, right.

---Meanwhile, Michael Jackson's doctor got arrested finally for unintentionally killing his client. The good news is that he's out on bail and you can still get an appointment.

---I am guessing the mornings are wide open.

---I am guessing the afternoons are wide open.

---Some day, you won't be able to say the same about his jail cell.

---No, it's not Horrible Black Doctor History Month.

---If you're willing to get a prescription from that guy, you might also be willing to renew your marriage vows with John Edwards.

---And that dirtbag will not be honored during White History Month.

---Oh, wait, there is no such thing.

---I was talking to a writer-friend over the weekend who has friends in the late night world. The word is that we should believe all the "nice guy" stuff printed about Conan O'Brien.

---The lovable redhead is apparently a creep to work for. Really mean to the staff.

---Also not due to be honored during White History Month.

---Oh, wait, there is no such thing.

---My streak is intact. Once again, I did not watch a single second of the Super Bowl.

---Which means I was totally perplexed by all the Sunday night Facebook entries. "Who dat?"

---I had no clue. I wondered "what dat?"

---Then, I realized it was all about some New Orleans slang and I got it. No English spoken there.

---"Where my FEMA?"

---"Where you at?"

---"When da hurricane?"

---And Michelle Obama is worried about candy machines?

---I have one last question for her.

---"Who do ya hair?"

Today would have been my mother's birthday. On second thought, it still is. :)

Dinner last night: Salami sandwich on bread made with sundried tomatoes and a side of onion soup.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

WOW I love Wednesday's blog

Anonymous said...

Another imposter!

Anonymous said...

Another imposter!

chris said...

as your resident football expert, i feel compelled to inform you: the "who dat?" came from a youtube video sometime after the New Orleans Saints winning streak surpassed 8 or 9. yes, this was after they beat the Giants. the full saying is "Who Dat Dur Gonna Beat Dem Saints?" sum raving yahoo proclaimed it after they became the last unbeaten team in the NFC and seemed unstoppable.

Anonymous said...

Memo to Chris: check out the movie "Big Fan" which is about two diehard Giants fans.