46 BC: JULIUS CAESAR DEDICATES A TEMPLE TO HIS MYTHICAL ANCESTOR VENUS GENETRIX IN ACCORDANCE WITH A VOW HE MADE AT THE BATTLE OF PHARSALUS.
It's 46 years before Christ and we've already got a world leader who's completely delusional. There would be others.
1212: THE GOLDEN BULL OF SICILY IS CERTIFIFED AS AN HEREDITARY ROYAL TITLE IN BOHEMIA FOR THE PREMYSLID DYNASTY.
Just like when I took World History with the hated Miss Kass, none of this makes any sense to me.
1580: SIR FRANCIS DRAKE FINISHES HIS CIRCUMNAVIGATION OF THE EARTH.
Oh, circumnavigation. Never mind.
1687: THE PARTHENON IN ATHENS IS PARTIALLY DESTROYED BY AN EXPLOSION CAUSED BY THE BOMBING FROM VENETIAN FORCES.
Several Venetian got too close to the explosion so those Venetians were blinded. Yeah, yeah, I know.
1687: THE CITY COUNCIL OF AMSTERDAM VOTES TO SUPPORT WILLIAM OF ORANGE'S INVASION OF ENGLAND, WHICH BECAME THE GLORIOUS REVOLUTION.
Knowing how people tend to exaggerate, I am guessing that revolution was Just Okay.
1774: JOHNNY APPLESEED IS BORN.
You're kidding, right? I thought this guy was a storybook hero.
1777: BRITISH TROOPS OCCUPY PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA DURING THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION.
They were booed by the locals, but, then again, who isn't in Philadelphia?
1789: THOMAS JEFFERSON IS APPOINTED THE FIRST US SECRETARY OF STATE, JOHN JAY IS APPOINTED THE FIRST CHIEF JUSTICE, SAMUEL OSGOOD IS APPOINTED THE FIRST US POSTMASTER GENERAL, AND EDMUND RANDOLPH IS APPOINTED THE FIRST US ATTORNEY GENERAL.
The first American budget deficit was obviously due to printing too many new business cards.
1792: MARC-DAVID LASOURCE BEGINS ACCUSING MAXIMILIEN ROBESPIERRE OF WANTING A DICTATORSHIP FOR FRANCE.
Hey, France, I saw 1942. Be careful what you wish for.
1820: FRONTIERSMAN DANIEL BOONE DIES.
But he was alive on NBC in the 1960s. I'm confused.
1875: THE FIRST SHRINERS TEMPLE IS ESTABLISHED IN NEW YORK CITY.
And so the funny hat was born.
1875: ACTOR EDMUND GWENN IS BORN.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Kris Kringle.
1895: ACTOR GEORGE RAFT IS BORN.
He wore those nifty spats in "Some Like It Hot."
1897: POPE PAUL VI IS BORN.
Except that wasn't his name just yet.
1898: COMPOSER GEORGE GERSHWIN IS BORN.
Rhapsody in Baby Blue.
1902: CLOTHING MANUFACTURER LEVI STRAUSS DIES.
He didn't make it past the third washing.
1908: ED REULBACH BECOMES THE FIRST AND ONLY PITCHER TO THROW TWO SHUTOUTS IN ONE DAY AGAINST THE BROOKLYN DODGERS.
Their pitching rotation was on twelve minutes rest.
1914: EXERCISE EXPERT JACK LA LANNE IS BORN.
And, with all that healthy living, he still died last year.
1917: DURING WORLD WAR I, THE BATTLE OF POLYGON WOOD BEGINS.
When do the Beatles start singing about Norwegian Wood?
1918: TV HOST JOHN ZACHERLE IS BORN.
The host of WPIX-TV New York's "Chiller Theater." There is no date of death listed next to his name, so he must still be with us at the age of 94.
1933: ACTRESS DONNA DOUGLAS IS BORN.
Take your favorite critter down to the cement pond.
1934: STEAMSHIP RMS QUEEN MARY IS LAUNCHED.
If this was like the Love Boat, I wonder who was on board along with Charo.
1948: SINGER OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN IS BORN.
If she married Elton John, she'd be shocked on her wedding night.
1950: UNITED NATIONS TROOPS RECAPTURE SEOUL FROM NORTH KOREAN FORCES.
Hey, I knew these guys had Seoul.
1950: INDONESIA IS ADMITTED TO THE UNITED NATIONS.
Well, there goes the neighborhood.
1960: THE FIRST TELEVISED DEBATE TAKES PLACE BETWEEN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES JOHN F. KENNEDY AND RICHARD NIXON.
"Mr. Nixon, please report to Make Up. Mr. Nixon? Mr. Nixon? Mr. Nixon???"
1960: FIDEL CASTRO ANNOUNCES CUBA'S SUPPORT FOR THE USSR.
Hey, have I got a missile for you?
1972: RADIO STAR CHARLES CORRELL DIES.
He was on the radio as Amos. Or was it Andy? Either way, he was really White.
1981: BASEBALL'S NOLAN RYAN SETS A MAJOR LEAGUE RECORD BY THROWING HIS FIFTH NO-HITTER.
And two no-hitters later.....
1984: THE UNITED KINGDOM AGREES TO THE HANDOVER OF HONG KONG.
You can probably add the word "gladly" to that sentence.
2000: ACTOR RICHARD MULLIGAN DIES.
That nest is really empty now.
2001: POLISH WIKIPEDIA IS STARTED.
Wow, I have so many jokes for this that I can't pick just one.
2008: ACTOR PAUL NEWMAN DIES.
What we have here is a failure to live one more day...
2010: ACTRESS GLORIA STUART DIES.
She finally hit it back with an Oscar nomination for "Titanic" when she was 88. Talk about persistence. Died when she was 100, so please, nobody tells she got cheated.
Dinner last night: Leftover sausage and vegetables.
1 comment:
All hail Zacherle!
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