Tuesday, October 30, 2012

If I Tweeted - October 2012

I have an account, but I don't use it much.  But, if I did, here's what I would have tweeted this month.

#LenSpeaks  The San Francisco Giants are in the playoffs.  I want to start a rumor that they're a terrorist sleeper cell.  Spread it around.

#LenSpeaks  Note to Dodger GM Ned Colletti.  Don't be tempted to sign Marco Scutaro this winter.  The guy is a stiff and playing way over his head.

#LenSpeaks  RIP Alex Karras.  Mongo like candy.

#LenSpeaks  I will vote for any Presidential candidate who commits to never visiting Los Angeles ever.

#LenSpeaks  Joe Biden could be a sitcom on Fox. 

#LenSpeaks  I don't care if Paul Ryan looks like Eddie Munster.  Now if he looked like Grandpa, then I've got an issue.

#LenSpeaks  The way Obama looked in the first debate is the same way I looked when I found out we were going to be doing forward rolls in gym class.

#LenSpeaks  That's what happens when you don't study and spend all your free time watching Sportscenter.

#LenSpeaks  RIP Gary Collins.  I used to see him in Whole Foods all the time.  So much for your organic diets.

#LenSpeaks  On a flight from LAX to JFK, I can't escape Dodger pal Rob Reiner.  His latest movie is the in-flight entertainment.

#LenSpeaks  And nobody's watching it up here either.

#LenSpeaks  Meanwhile, the hippie next to me snores.

#LenSpeaks  Does anybody really shop in the Skymall catalog??

#LenSpeaks  The Presidential debate at Hofstra is theater in the round.  I thought comedy acts in the round on Long Island all play Westbury.

#LenSpeaks  With your opening act...Sergio Franchi?

#LenSpeaks  Even better.  Peter Lemongello.

#LenSpeaks  Do people really think Romney is going to convert everybody to Mormonism?

#LenSpeaks  If a President could really do that, we'd all be Black today.

#LenSpeaks  With all these Presidential poll numbers, I have never been called once.

#LenSpeaks  Neither have any of my friends.  So I think Gallup and Rasmussen don't really exist.

#LenSpeaks  With this big ass storm hitting the East Coast, I have a rhetorical question.  What would happen if something like this happened on Election Day?

#LenSpeaks  Stay home.  But go out and vote.  No, stay home.  But go out and vote.

#LenSpeaks  I do miss the extreme weather of New York City.  As long as I can stay home in it.

#LenSpeaks  If I see one Facebook post about Hurricane Sandy and tying it to the character from "Grease,"......

#LenSpeaks  Funny.  When I see torrential rain, I don't automatically think of Olivia Newton-John.

#LenSpeaks  Although heavy wind does remind me of Stockard Channing.

#LenSpeaks  Obama made a public statement about the storm.  He blamed it on an anti-Muslim video.

#LenSpeaks  Thanks to Direct TV, I got to watch the NY local news coverage on the storm.  Thinking of all my friends there.   

Dinner last night:  Various Thai dishes at Thai Emporium in Westwood.


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