69: THE SECOND BATTLE OF BEDRIACUM AS THE FORCES OF ANTONIUS PRIMUS DEFEAT THE FORCES OF EMPEROR VITELLIUS.
I feel so deprived since I know nothing about the first battle of Bedriacum.
1147: AFTER A SIEGE OF FOUR MONTHS, CRUSADER KNIGHTS LED BY AFONSO HENRIQUES RECONQUERED LISBON.
Crusader Knights, I don't know. Crusader Rabbit, I do know.
1260: SAIF AD-DIN QUTUZ, MAMLUK SULTAN OF EGYPT, IS ASSASSINATED BY BAIBARS, WHO SEIZES POWER FOR ITSELF.
Didn't this happen last month in Egypt?
1590: JOHN WHITE, THE GOVERNOR OF THE SECOND ROANOKE COLONY, RETURNS TO ENGLAND AFTER AN UNSUCCESSFUL SEARCH FOR THE LOST COLONISTS.
I feel so deprived since I know nothing about the first Roanoke colony.
1851: WILLIAM LASSELL DISCOVERS THE MOONS UMBRIEL AND ARIEL ORBITING URANUS.
Oh, pay attention to your own anus.
1852: POLITICIAN DANIEL WEBSTER DIES.
The Devil, you say.
1861: THE FIRST TRANSCONTINENTAL TELEGRAPH LINE ACROSS THE UNITED STATES IS COMPLETED, SPELLING THE END FOR THE 18-MONTH-OLD PONY EXPRESS.
So there was no Pony Local?
1901: ANNIE EDISON TAYLOR BECOMES THE FIRST PERSON TO GO OVER NIAGARA FALLS IN A BARREL.
Yeah, but did she live?
1904: PLAYWRIGHT MOSS HART IS BORN.
Later on, he was married to Kitty Carlisle. Which means he never saw his wife without long gloves.
1911: ORVILLE WRIGHT REMAINS IN THE AIR 9 MINUTES AND 45 SECONDS IN A WRIGHT GLIDER.
Those of you with 8 minutes and 25 minutes in the office pool, well, sorry.
1915: CARTOONIST BOB KANE IS BORN.
Batman!
1922: CANDY MANUFACTURER GEORGE CADBURY DIES.
Melts, actually.
1926: HARRY HOUDINI'S LAST PERFORAMNCE IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN.
Not the first person to go to Detroit and disappear forever.
1926: FOOTBALL STAR Y.A. TITTLE IS BORN.
And why not a Tittle?
1929: "BLACK THURSDAY" STOCK MARKET CRASH ON WALL STREET.
Gentlemen, please use the windows on the left.
1931: THE GEORGE WASHINGTON BRIDGE OPENS TO PUBLIC TRAFFIC.
And it will be full of that traffic for the next 80 or so years.
1934: SINGER GLEN GLENN IS BORN.
A singer? I thought he was the guy with all the sound on those Desilu shows.
1935: GANGSTER DUTCH SCHULTZ DIES.
Bang, bang, you're dead.
1936: ACTOR DAVID NELSON IS BORN.
The one Nelson with absolutely no musical talent.
1945: FOUNDING OF THE UNITED NATIONS.
Created primarily because every fourth-grade class in the NY area needed someplace to go on a field trip.
1946: ACTOR KEVIN KLINE IS BORN.
Sorry, still don't like him.
1947: WALT DISNEY TESTIFIES BEFORE THE HOUSE UN-AMERICAN ACTIVITIES COMMITTEE, NAMING DISNEY EMPLOYEES HE BELIEVES TO BE COMMUNISTS.
I always had my suspicions about Geppetto.
1954: PRESIDENT EISENHOWER PLEDGES UNITED STATES SUPPORT TO SOUTH VIET NAM.
You'll be sorry.
1972: BASEBALL STAR JACKIE ROBINSON DIES.
Go, Jackie, go. Oh, wait, you just went.
1973: YOM KIPPUR WAR ENDS.
Why fight? It's a public school day off.
1977: VETERANS DAY IS OBSERVED ON THE FOURTH MONDAY IN OCTOBER FOR THE SEVENTH AND LAST TIME. THE HOLIDAY GOES BACK TO NOVEMBER 11 THE NEXT YEAR.
Meanwhile, this is no longer a day off. Boo hiss.
1991: PRODUCER GENE RODDENBERRY DIES.
Going where millions of other men have gone before.
2002: POLICE ARREST SPREE KILLERS JOHN ALLEN MUHAMMAD AND LEE BOYD MALVO, ENDING THE BELTWAY SNIPER ATTACKS IN WASHINGTON, DC.
The way our politicians in DC are these days, I'm all for letting these two guys out again.
2003: CONCORDE MAKES ITS LAST COMMERCIAL FLIGHT.
Can you blame them? I mean, what with the crashes and everything.
2005: ROSA PARKS DIES.
Frankly, lady, I don't care where you sit.
2008: "BLOODY FRIDAY" SAW MANY OF THE WORLD'S STOCK EXCHANGES EXPERIENCE THE WORST DECLINES IN HISTORY.
And this means October 24 is never the right day to look at your stock portfolio.
Dinner last night: Beef pot pie, potatoes, and green beans---the Tuesday night tradition at my good friend Barbara's.
1 comment:
Agree to disagree. Kevin Kline has real comedy chops.
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