Morons of the Month - June 2013

These days, we will never run out of monthly morons as long as there are journalists working in the mainstream media.  

Just last month, NBC News got their hands slapped again for misappropriating some sound bites and making them fit into their on-air liberal agenda.  As a news division, they are incredibly embarrassing.  As a public relations firm working for the White House, they could win awards.

But that's the way it is and, sorry about that, Walter Cronkite.  When I was a kid, you depended upon that half-hour every night when you'd learn what was going on in the world and how tomorrow promised to be.  You had Uncle Walter, Chet and David, and whoever ABC could muster up at the time.  You'd sit maybe with your grandparents and hang on every word.  And you respected the people who were bringing it to you.  Oh, sure, they might have their own opinions and political biases.  But you never heard that coming through as they seemingly talked directly to each and every one of us.  

Back in those days, you respected the television journalist.

In 2013, that messenger is dead.  Rotting.  Decomposing.  Replaced by a conga line of idiots who espouse political rhetoric and proceed to shove it down our throats.

Much is made of Fox News and their nutso, cuckoo right-wing rantings and ravings.  Of course, the folks making the most of that description are people who are talking up their own nutso, cuckoo left-wing rantings and ravings.  It's offensive only if you don't agree with it.  Truth be told, when there is breaking news like a Boston Marathon massacre or a devastating Hurricane Sandy, I found myself tuned to Fox News.  To me, they were cutting through all the bullshit in a clear, concise, and....wait for it...unbiased manner.  I certainly won't tune in there for a Bill O'Reilly or a Greta Van Susteran.  But, if the world is exploring, I will check in there first to find the location of my nearest fallout shelter.

I can't say the same for your more "respected" news outlets.  Because those places now seem to be more about the opinion and less about the news.  With idiots that prompt double standards that would curl your hair.

Take, for instance, the now mercifully retired Dan Rather.

This bastion of television journalism was on a....gasp....NBC-produced news show and asked a question about Benghazi.  He talked about some Republican leaders who are so vile that they want to "rip the President's heart out and feed it like liver to their dogs."

Uh-huh.  In much the same way Rather stacked the deck against any Republican President he dealt with over the years.  Stick your tongue back in your face, you two-faced bastard.

Oh, yeah, here's a few of the stars that frequent MSNBC, which is about as close to a news network as I am to being Valerie Bertinelli's next husband.  This cable channel, which apparently can be heard in Hell, is frequented by an audience that is still waiting to hear Nixon's missing 18 minutes and wringing their hands over Rosa Parks being shuttled to the back of the bus.  PS, it's one of the lowest rated cable networks around, so luckily there aren't many of those lunatics around.  But those that are still living in 1968 get their news from the likes of...

Rachel Maddow, who announces that she's not a "partisan" but then reads talking points from the White House verbatim.  Meanwhile, the first date she had with her life partner was at a NRA-sponsored "Ladies on the Range" event.   Or...

Chris Matthews, who thinks that everybody not a registered Democrat should be executed.  Well, he didn't really say that.  Or maybe he did.  On the air, he's incoherent.  But, that's understandable since it's well known that Matthews is a raging alcoholic.  Huntley and Brinkley probably did their share of Scotch.  The difference is that they never did it on the air.

You want more?  I got more.

Toure. That's his name.  Another douchebag with a show on MSLSD.  He's the young edgy one.  Trying to appeal to an audience under 25.  His message is simple.  White people?  Bad.  Black people?  Discriminated against.  Gee, no news there.  When Toure decides to do some real journalism, the first thing I want him to investigate is his name.  I am guessing it's really Erasmus Q. Jones.

Of course, with his basic philosophy, Toure obviously forgot to consider his fellow MSDNC news cohort.

Yes, he has his own show.  "Reverend" Al Sharpton.  But it's not a sitcom on BET.  Nope, he's employed by a major cable network devoted to news.  There is an upside to being a known felon.  Had he lived, I am guessing Lee Harvey Oswald would be anchoring Sunday nights on MSZzz.   One of the more comical things I have heard Sharpton say on the air was when he discussed April 15 being Income Tax in America.  So he does know the real date?  You can't tell by the returns he's filed over the years.  Oh, wait, he hasn't.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to further demonstrate that they are unbiased, NBC News has recently hired...

Chelsea Clinton.  Former First Daughter of the United States.  The moppet who didn't say a word for eight years.  But now she's got the credentials to bring you unbiased and hard news?   Um, no.  Indeed, her first assignment was a probing, in-depth interview with the Geico Gecko.  I hear the lizard avoided a lot of her questions.  Gee, if Chelsea wants to be hard hitting, her next interview should be with her father.  And I've got the very first question.

"How come you haven't slept in the same bed with my mother since the night I was conceived?"

These are the folks we are getting our news from in 2013.  PS, we aren't getting any news at all.

So are these my nominees for Morons of the Month for May?  Gee, not really.  Dan Rather, Rachel Maddow, Chris Matthews, Toure, Al Sharpton, and Chelsea Clinton are hardly stupid.  They were smart to get these gigs.  The joke's not on them.

It's on some of us.  Because any of you who are regularly tuned to these clowns or others like them on the major news channels in our world....well, you are the true morons around here.

Dinner last night:  The salad bar from Gelson's.

Tomorrow:  Inclement weather permitting, I will be a New Yorker.