Friday, June 14, 2013

Your Weekend Movie Guide for June 2013

Well, this never happens.

The photo above is of the Crest Theater in Westwood, California.  One of my neighborhood movie palaces.  A single screen venue that is magnificently decorated for your viewing pleasure.  About three years ago, it fell to the usual economic woes.

Until last week when some entrepreneur had the courage (and bucks) to reopen it.  Ideally, I would use it to screen classics, but, regardless of what plays there, it is wonderful to see it back in semi-business.

Now if there were only product to show.

You know the drill, gang.  I will rifle through the entertainment pages of the Los Angeles Times and give you my knee-jerk reaction to the dreck playing at your multiplex.  Don't expect miracles.

As for me, I'm going to sit down at the Crest and stare at the walls longingly.

The Hangover, Part III:  You shouldn't have had the first drink.

The Great Gatsby:  Reviewed here a while back.  Skip it and get yourself a library card.

Fast and Furious 6:  Once the franchise gets to #12, I'll start catching up.

After Earth:  Another doomsday saga with Will Smith and his kid.  The real film to be made is the one that shows how two gay parents conceive a child.

The Iceman:  Stayeth home.

The Internship:  The trailer looked funny, but that's always a bad sign.  Usually, those are the only real gags in the entire film.

Iron Man 3:  Please don't recycle this one more time.

Before Midnight:  There's already been several movies about this dreary couple played by Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.  Unfortunately, there's one title still left to do...."After Midnight."

Star Trek Into Darkness:  Entertaining enough, even for this non-Trekie.

Stories We Tell: Reviewed here recently.  A family hangs its dirty laundry.  Live vicarioously as my family certainly didn't.

Mud:  Water mixed with some dirt.  Voila.

Frances Ha:  I've seen this and will be reviewing it next week on this blog.  Sorry.  No hints.  Except for one.  It's shot in black and white.

Wish You Were Here:  A vacationer disappears on a trip to Cambodia.  Surprise?  Anybody?

Plimpton:  A documentary on the legendary writer.  Fair game since he's been dead for a few years.

Now You See Me:  All about a quarter of magicians.  Now you see me?  Er, no, you don't.

Much Ado About Nothing:  Director Joss Whedon tackles Shakespeare and is thrown for a fifteen-yard-loss.

The Kings of Summer:  Another coming-of-age tale.  You could see this.  Or simply put "Stand By Me" in your Netflix queue.

This Is The End:  A bunch of Hollywood actors deal with the apocalypse.  This stars Seth Rogen.  A doomsday scenario all to himself.

Man of Steel:  I'd be interested in this latest incarnation of Superman if the logline wasn't a complete rehash of the first Superman movie that starred Christopher Reeve.  Original ideas are like Kryptonite to Hollywood development execs.

Epic:   A teenager finds herself transported to a deep forest setting where a battle between the forces of good and the forces of evil is taking place. She bands together with a rag-tag group characters in order to save their world -- and ours.  It's a cartoon and Beyonce is one of the voices.  How many things do I have to mention before you stop considering to see this?

Ain't In It for My Health:  A documentary about Levon Helm as he records his latest album.  Of course, he's dead now so much for seeing bonus material about his latest tour.

Berberian Sound Studio:  A sound engineer's work for an Italian horror studio becomes a terrifying case of life imitating art.   How do you say "zzzzzz" in Italian?

The Bling Ring:  Inspired by actual events, a group of fame-obsessed teenagers use the internet to track celebrities' whereabouts in order to rob their homes.  Directed by Sofia Coppola, who's still trying to atone for her awful acting turn in "The Godfather, Part 3."

What Maisie Knew:  Are they making these Ann Sothern movies again?

Love Is All You Need:  Well, that....and a good cleaning lady.

Lost and Found in Armenia:  I don't think anybody is technically "found" in Armenia.

The History of Future Folk:  The possibly exaggerated origin story of the real life alien bluegrass band, Future Folk, that has been playing for NYC audiences for the better part of a decade.  Just what does "possibly exaggerated" mean?

Violet and Daisy:  Two teenage assassins accept what they think will be a quick-and-easy job, until an unexpected target throws them off their plan.  Basically an Archie comic as if it were written by the NRA.

Rapture-Palooza:   Two teens battle their way through a religious apocalypse on a mission to defeat the Antichrist.  How many times can I type the word "apocalypse" today?  Meanwhile, this stars Anna Kendrick.  Far from teenage.  I love her, gang, but she's past 25 already.

The Purge:   A family is held hostage for harboring the target of a murderous syndicate during the Purge, a 12-hour period in which any and all crime is legalized.  The real crime is that this is the second movie this week starring Ethan Hawke.

A Wedding Invitation:  High school sweethearts QiaoQiao and Li Xing are about to graduate from university and Li Xing surprises QiaoQiao with a marriage proposal.  Me marry you long time.

Tiger Eyes:  After Davey's father is killed in a hold-up, she and her mother and younger brother visit relatives in New Mexico. Here Davey is befriended by a young man who helps her find the strength to carry on and conquer her fears.  From a novel by Judy Blume.  Personally, if I want to see the screen adaptation of a teenage book, I'll opt for "The Hardy Boys Get Laid."

The Rambler:  I have no clue what the movie is about, but this was my grandfather's car.

Vehicle 19:  A foreign traveler ( Paul Walker) unknowingly picks up a rental car that will tie him to a web of corrupt local police.  I picked up a rental car in NY just yesterday.  Now I'm worried.

Shadow Dancer:  Set in 1990s Belfast, an active member of the IRA becomes an informant for MI5 in order to protect her son's welfare.  The setting is appropriate since this sounds like a real bomb.

Dinner last night:  Roast beef sandwich and macaroni salad at the NY home of me.


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