1269: KING LUIS IX OF FRANCE ORDERS ALL JEWS FOUND IN PUBLIC WITHOUT AN IDENTIFYING YELLOW BADGE TO BE FINED TEN LIVRES OF SILVER.
That fine was a lot easier to take than the one Hitler invented centuries later.
1586: ENGLISH COLONISTS LEAVE ROANOKE ISLAND, AFTER FAILING TO ESTABLISH ENGLAND'S FIRST PERMANENT SETTLEMENT IN NORTH AMERICA.
You snooze, you lose. Here comes the Mayflower.
1770: EMANUEL SWEDENBORG REPORTS THE COMPLETION OF THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST IN HIS WORK TRUE CHRISTIAN RELIGION.
Still waiting.
1816: BATTLE OF SEVEN OAKS BETWEEN NORTH WEST COMPANY AND HUDSON'S BAY COMPANY.
One of those historical facts that means absolutely nothing to me.
1846: THE FIRST OFFICIALLY RECORDED, ORGANIZED BASEBALL GAME IS PLAYED IN HOBOKEN. THE NEW YORK BASEBALL CLUB BEATS THE KNICKERBOCKERS, 23-1.
Should have taken the Knickerbockers with 23 points.
1862: THE US CONGRESS PROHIBITS SLAVERY IN UNITED STATES TERRITORIES, NULLIFYING DRED SCOTT VS. SANDFORD.
And Son?
1865: OVER TWO YEARS AFTER THE EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION, SLAVES IN GALVESTON, TEXAS ARE FINALLY INFORMED OF THEIR FREEDOM.
Good news travels slowly.
1896: SOCIALITE WALLIS SIMPSON IS BORN.
Wife of Edward VIII, grandmother of Homer I.
1897: ACTOR MOE HOWARD IS BORN.
Why, I oughta.....
1902: BAND LEADER GUY LOMBARDO IS BORN.
Happy New Birth.
1903: BASEBALL STAR LOU GEHRIG IS BORN.
Guten tag.
1910: THE FIRST FATHER'S DAY IS CELEBRATED IN SPOKANE, WASHINGTON.
Who knew that Spokane was such a trendsetter?
1914: MUSICIAN LESTER FLATT IS BORN.
Come and listen to a story...
1915: ACTOR PAT BUTTRAM IS BORN.
Mr. Haney from "Green Acres."!!
1919: FILM CRITIC PAULINE KAEL IS BORN.
I wonder if she liked this.
1921: ACTOR LOUIS JOURDAN IS BORN.
Still alive. I guess it's true what they say about red wine and the French.
1928: ACTRESS NANCY MARCHAND IS BORN.
What an acting range. The stately Mrs. Pynchon on "Lou Grant" and then the grizzled Livia on "The Sopranos."
1932: ACTRESS PIER ANGELI IS BORN.
Later screwed by James Dean....and then really screwed by Vic Damone.
1934: THE FEDERAL COMMUNICATIONS COMMISSION IS STARTED.
And those seven dirty words are?
1937: AUTHOR J.M. BARRIE DIES.
From Never Never Land to Really Never Never Land.
1953: JULIUS AND ETHEL ROSENBERG ARE EXECUTED AT SING SING.
Bye, spy.
1954: ACTRESS KATHLEEN TURNER IS BORN.
Now she's ice cold. And just plain fat.
1961: KUWAIT DECLARES INDEPENDENCE FROM THE UNITED KINGDOM.
Yet another historical fact that means absolutely nothing to me.
1964: THE CIVIL RIGHTS ACT OF 1964 IS APPROVED AFTER SURVIVING AN 83-DAY SENATE FILIBUSTER.
Why do I think the filibuster was started by some Southern Democrat?
1966: ACTOR ED WYNN DIES.
Not laughing any more.
1975: MOBSTER SAM GIANCANA DIES.
Dies? Ha.
1978: GARFIELD THE COMIC STRIP MAKES ITS DEBUT.
The only thing on the funny pages that I'm allergic to.
1982: THE BODY OF GOD'S BANKER, ROBERTO CALVI, IS FOUND HANGING IN LONDON.
Forcing God to go to the ATM himself.
1986: BASKETBALL PLAYER LEN BIAS DIES.
Fifth technical.
1990: THE COMMUNIST PART OF THE RUSSIAN SOVIET FEDERATIVE SOCIALIST REPUBLIC IS FOUND IN MOSCOW.
Calling the Marketing department for suggestions on a shorter name.
1991: ACTRESS JEAN ARTHUR DIES.
Shane didn't come back. Neither will she.
1998: ACTOR ATTICUS SHAFFER IS BORN.
The wonderful young actor who plays Brick on "The Middle."
2009: MASS RIOTS INVOLVING 10,000 PEOPLE AND 10,000 POLICE OFFICERS BREAK OUT IN SHISHOU, CHINA.
Well, at least, the sides are even.
2010: BASKETBALL PLAYER MANUTE BOL DIES.
A tough day to be tall.
Dinner last night: Leftover sausage and peppers.
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