Wednesday, December 31, 2014

This Date in History - December 31

Last day of the year.  Let's see what December 31 has given us in history...besides a reason to get drunk.

406:  VANDALS, ALANS, AND SUEBIANS CROSS THE RHINE, BEGINNING AN INVASION OF GAUL.

I thought vandals only came out on Halloween.

535:  BYZANTINE GENERAL BELISARIUS COMPLETES THE CONQUEST OF SICILY.

Not to be confused with Ronald Bellisario who used to pitch in relief for the Dodgers.

1501:  THE FIRST BATTLE OF CANNANORE COMMENCES.

Which means there's a second, right?

1600:  THE BRITISH EAST INDIA COMPANY IS CHARTERED.

Which means there was a British West India company, right?

1687:  THE FIRST HUGUENOTS SET SAIL FROM FRANCE TO THE CAPE OF GOOD HOPE.

Which means there was a second set of Huguenots, right?   Okay, I'll stop.

1695:  A WINDOW TAX IS IMPOSED IN ENGLAND, CAUSING MANY PEOPLE TO BRICK UP THEIR WINDOWS TO AVOID THE TAX.

Sounds like something our own federal government would do now.

1759:  ARTHUR GUINNESS STARTS BREWING BEER. 

If that's not something to celebrate on New Year's Eve, I don't know what is.

1790:  EFIMERIS, THE OLDEST GREEK NEWSPAPER OF WHICH ISSUES HAVE SURVIVED TILL TODAY IS PUBLISHED FOR THE FIRST TIME.

These days, it's probably read more as Efimeris.com.

1796:  THE INCORPORATION OF BALTIMORE AS A CITY.

And later as an American League team.

1831:  GRAMERCY PARK IS DEEDED TO NEW YORK, NEW YORK.

But they don't call it Gramercy Park, Gramercy Park.

1853:  A DINNER PARTY IS HELD INSIDE A LIFE-SIZE MODEL OF AN IGUANODON IN ENGLAND.

I don't know what an iguanodon is, but hopefully there are windows in case cauliflower was served.

1862:  AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - ABRAHAM LINCOLN SIGNS AN ACT THAT ADMITS WEST VIRGINIA TO THE UNION, THUS DIVIDING VIRGINIA IN TWO.

Yes, Virginia, there is another state.

1879:  THOMAS EDISON DEMONSTRATES INCANDESCENT LIGHT TO THE PUBLIC FOR THE FIRST TIME. 

When does the Consolidated part come in?

1905:  COMPOSER JULE STYNE IS BORN.

Is that any way to spell Julie?  And Styne?

1907:  THE FIRST NEW YEAR'S EVE CELEBRATION IS HELD IN TIMES SQUARE.

Welcome 1908!

1909:  MANHATTAN BRIDGE OPENS.

EZ-Pass Lane to follow.

1923:  THE CHIMES OF BIG BEN ARE BROADCAST ON RADIO FOR THE FIRST TIME BY THE BBC.

That will wake you up from your hangover.

1937:  ACTOR ANTHONY HOPKINS IS BORN.

Have some champagne with those fava beans.

1943:   SINGER JOHN DENVER IS BORN.

Thank God he's a country boy.

1943:  ACTOR BEN KINGSLEY IS BORN.

A friend of mine used to live next door to him and apparently he has noisy sex.  A lot.

1946:  PRESIDENT HARRY TRUMAN OFFICIALLY PROCLAIMS THE END OF HOSTILITIES IN WORLD WAR II.

Just in time for the Korean conflict to start up.

1955:  GENERAL MOTORS BECOMES THE FIRST US CORPORATION TO MAKE OVER ONE BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR.

Remember this when you think about how these car companies were bailed out of bankruptcy.

1958:  ACTRESS BEBE NEUWIRTH IS BORN.

Lilith!

1967:  THE YOUTH INTERNATIONAL PARTY, OR "YIPPIES," IS FOUNDED.

Hippies, yippies, what the hell is the difference?

1971:  ACTOR PETER DUEL SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE HEAD.

And just so you know...he's dead.

1972:  BASEBALL STAR ROBERTO CLEMENTE DIES IN A PLANE CRASH.

Sad end to a marvelous career.

1983:  THE ATT BELL SYSTEM IS BROKEN UP BY THE US GOVERNMENT.

And then all hell breaks loose. In a year or two, there are about two dozen phone companies fighting for your business.

1985:  SINGER RICKY NELSON DIES.

Another reason not to fly on New Year's Eve.

1988:  PITTSBURGH PENGUINS' MARIO LEMIEUX BECOMES THE ONLY NHL HOCKEY PAYER TO SCORE GOALS IN FIVE DIFFERENT WAYS: EVEN STRENGTH, POWER PLAY, SHORT HANDED, PENALTY SHOT, AND EMPTY NET.

This is important to about three people in this country.

1991:  ALL OFFICIAL SOVIET UNION INSTITUTIONS HAVE CEASED OPERATIONS BY THE DATE AND THE SOVIET UNION IS OFFICIALLY DISSOLVED.

Like an Alka Seltzer tablet.

1999:  FIRST PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA BORIS YELTSIN RESIGNS, LEAVING PRIME MINISTER VLADIMIR PUTIN AS THE SUCCESSOR.

Well, that was a downgrade.

2001:  ACTRESS EILEEN HECKHART DIES.

Nice and clean as far as her estate's taxes go.

2013:  RADIO HOST BOB GRANT DIES.

Click.  Dial tone.

Dinner last night:  Chicken teriyaki from PF Chang's.


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Accept No Imitation

"The Imitation Game" is one of those movies that would have bored me when I was a kid.

As I have written countless other times, my parents were pretty liberal when it came to taking me to the movies.  I'd be dragged to see anything.  It wasn't just Disney cartoons for me.  If I was restless during a more-adult movie, I would keep myself busy by running around the theater.   You could do that at those movie palaces.   There was always more than one seating level to explore.

So, back to this film...

Yes, it would have been a snooze for me back then because it had all the aspects of a dull film.

There were British accents.

It was a spy or military story that was over my head.

Whenever the characters walked anyway, you could hear their footsteps clicking.  That sound alone could lull me into a nap.

This is a long way in saying that my movie going tastes have obviously changed.  "The Imitation Game" had me riveted from reel one.  Indeed, set originally during World War II, I imagine it would have been my dad who would have taken me to see it originally.  But I could still feel his presence a little bit in the theater.   

And I didn't doze off.

This film tells the true story of Alan Turing, some genius and Sheldon-Cooper-like young mathematician who is engaged by the British government to help decipher Nazi messages about their wartime movements and plans.  The decoding project was called Enigma.   Making the process even more daunting was the fact that the Germans changed the pattern every day.  So, just as Turing and the others got close to solving the letter scheme, it would get changed.

So, as a result, there's a lot of dialogue and scientific equations and heavy-handed vocabulary in "The Imitation Game."  So, yes, if it was made decades ago, this movie would have been lights out for me.   But, in 2014, this is the type of adult and smart entertainment that I crave.

There is tons of Oscar chatter for the movie's star, Benedict Cumberbatch, who is the main reason the film works.   He is haughty and pompous and overly intelligent, but, at the same time, he becomes the ideal hero in this piece.  You feel his pain when he gets close to the code solution and then has the rug pulled out from under him.  Indeed, as "The Imitation Game" progresses, the story moves into directions you didn't foresee.  And, as a result, the second half becomes even that more compelling.

Keira Knightley is the romantic interest for Turing and she usually can do no wrong.  I've been a fan ever since her short appearance in "Love Actually" a dozen or so years ago.  And, yes, that is Allen Leech, the chauffeur from "Downton Abbey" as one of the other decoders.  They all help to snap this movie together into a tight and provocative mystery that...surprise, surprise...is less than two hours long.  

"The Imitation Game" is definitely worth your time.  You'll be hearing it amongst the nominations this upcoming Oscar night.  

Hey, if I can now get through a movie full of British accents and heel clicking on the floor, so can you.

LEN'S RATING:  Three-and-a-half stars.

Dinner last night:   Still working on leftover Christmas ham.



Monday, December 29, 2014

Monday Morning Video Laugh - December 29, 2014

When you get home late this New Year's Eve...
Dinner last night:  Leftover ham, rice, and corn.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

The Sunday Memory Drawer - The Requisite End of the Year Celebration

The requisite end-of-the-year celebration results in the requisite end-of-the-year Sunday Memory Drawer.  And the realization that New Year's Eve has gone through phases with yours truly.  Starting with the kid in the photo above.  That's me.  The littlest bartender.

You've read before the stories and seen the photos of the December 31 parties in my parents' basement.  Family members actually enjoying each other's company.  Doing the Cha Cha on the tattered linoleum that used to be in our kitchen upstairs.  And me mixing drinks.

Why the hell was I doing that?  Well, you have to understand my family dynamic.  Age-wise, I was in purgatory.  My teen-age cousins were usually making out with somebody somewhere in the dark recesses of the house.   My mother would warn me.

"Don't go upstairs."

I did once and immediately wondered why X had his hands on Y's....  They saw me standing in the doorway.   A couch cushion was tossed in my general direction.  

In No Kid's Lane, I had to busy myself on the adult side of the party aisle.  And, bored to the hilt, I decided to stand behind the table where all the family booze was lined up.  One relative came up to me.

"Hey, make me a gin and tonic."

Huh?   I was about seven years old.   But, smart enough to know the names on the different bottles.   I poured a whole bunch of gin into a glass.  With very little tonic.

"Whoa!  You put too much booze in there!"

Okay, I thought, I'll pour it out.

"No!  Don't do that.  We don't waste liquor.  I'll drink it."

And that how's this littlest bartender single handedly sunk most of the adult relatives at that New Year's Eve party.  I might have been the only sober one left in that entire basement by 1AM.

Pockets of memories across New Year's Eve.   Despite my position as a one-kid island,  I really cherished those family parties.   Trying to avoid getting a wet smooch from some old codger.  Working hard to make sure nothing on my plate had even remotely come in contact with the dreaded Vita pickled herring on the buffet table.  

Fun times.   And they drifted away too soon.  Just like on Christmas, the family drifted apart for New Year's Eve.   People stayed home.  Alone.   It was too much trouble to go out.   Why?   Most of our family lived within three miles of each other.

Of course, as I got older, I still wanted to celebrate.   The passage of one year into another remained a big deal with me.  And, hell, I was remembering what my cousins were doing upstairs.   When do I get to do THAT?

Yeah, well...

When I should have been groping somebody on a December 31, I was actually celebrating midnight at 6PM.  That was the year I spent New Year's Eve at a Tonight Show taping in New York.  It was taped earlier in the day.   When it was allegedly midnight, Johnny and Ed tossed confetti in the air as we pretended it wasn't really 6PM.  I went home and promptly threw up.   This New Year's Eve would be the first and last time that I had the flu.

More memories as one college party on one December 31 morphed into another.  Playing hockey in a dorm hallway with my roommate's crutches.

There was the year where I was fresh out of college and trying to impress some girl with my ability to cook in that new wok I had just gotten for Christmas.  Note to all: you really do have to chop up the ingredients or your meal can be a disaster.

There was the year where my fractured shoulder was in a sling and I could barely reach for the dice playing Trivial Pursuit at a neighbor's home.  I won the game and the painkillers were delicious, thank you very much.

There was the fateful Eve when I returned from a house party to hear that my mom had just lapsed into a coma at the hospital.  My first official act of the New Year was putting my John Hancock on a "do not resuscitate" order.

Yep, over time, the night of December 31 became less and less important.   It was essentially forced fun.   From those glorious days as a kid to less than stellar nights as an adult, the luster wore off.  There was less and less pressure to have...ahem...a date.   There was less and less pressure to even do something special.

Of course, I have written in the past of one magical New Year's Eve that stands out over almost all others.

1984. 

Typically, I had not made definitive plans, when my good friend Glenn in New York called with a bright idea. He and his wife were going downtown to an oldies club called Shout. In the true spirit of marketing, the place played the song several times that night. My friends even had another girl going, so we could easily divide the drink bill equally four ways.

To be honest, I don't remember who they brought along, because I danced with so many people that night. The night was electric. One big hit from the 50s and 60s after another. At several points out on the dance hall, we toasted catcher Gary Carter, who the Mets had just obtained in a trade. At midnight, they dragged out "Shout" one more time. And we all did. I kissed a few of the other patrons around me. I had no clue who they were. I didn't give a shit. 

It was that free. 

And easy. 

And spontaneous.

Suddenly, I was a kid again.   Mixing gin and tonics for the family.   And feeling so amazingly empowered with fun.

I've never achieved the same serendipity on New Year's Eve since. 

Of late, I celebrate December 31 on the west coast which, in my convoluted mind, stretches out the outgoing year by three hours.  If it's dinner with friends and maybe a glass of champagne, that's all I require.

If you look at all these New Year's Eve celebrations, they almost mirror the phases of anyone's life.  From the innocence of childhood to the unabashed freedom of young adulthood to the seemingly problem-laden world of a grown up.  

Okay, maybe it is an overrated holiday.   But, it is still the passage of time.   And one's life.

Dinner last night:   French dip panini at the Arclight Cafe.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Classic TV Theme Song ot the Month - December 2014

God bless Angela Cartwright.

Dinner last night:  Leftover Christmas ham and carrots.

Friday, December 26, 2014

It's December 26!

Time to return that ugly Christmas sweater some fool gave you.   I hope you got a gift receipt.
I don't care what religion you're wearing.  It's still ugly.
It grows on you.
Meanwhile, you know this sweater just reeks of cigar.
Is that a dog on your head or did you just forget to comb?
Aw, they're wearing each other.
And the theme is...what?
I think it works better with a T-shirt underneath.
Can we exchange him, too?
Perfect for Christmas in Branson.
Man or woman?  Vote now.
Back in the box, please.
Grandma: 96 pounds.   Sweater: 35 pounds.

Dinner last night:  Christmas ham dinner.


Thursday, December 25, 2014

Merry Christmas From Me...and Lots of Classic TV Shows

May this Christmas holiday be the best that it can be. With presents and fun and laughter under the tree. That's the most poetic I can get. Enjoy my tree. And let's see how some classic TV shows wished us Merry Christmas back in the day.
This was the Jefferson neighbor before Sherman Hemsley showed up.
I'll bet that nobody remembers Elinor Donahue played Andy's girlfriend in the first season.
Ward, I'm worried that we forgot to buy AA batteries for the Beaver.
How dare they leave Alice out of this picture???
I wonder what Donna Reed preferred?  Christmas with Jimmy Stewart or Carl Betz?
Straight from Mr. Haney's Christmas tree lot.
There's the infamous brother Chuck Cunningham, who inexplicably disapeared from the family in the second season.
I just saw this episode.  Granny thought the TV gift from the Drysdales was a washing machine.
The rare break-the-fourth-wall curtain call on the Honeymooners.
Unlike other nighttime soaps, Knots Landing always remembered to recognize Christmas.
Merry Christmas, Bob.  Merry Christmas, Emily.
And, meanwhile, in another part of Hooterville...
Rhoda was apparently not all that Jewish.

And there's no better way to end today's entry...

Dinner last night:   Asian chopped chicken salad.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

This Date in History - December 24

It's a-happening tonight, gang.   Merry Christmas Eve!   Let's see what the history books say about December 24.

640:  POPE JOHN IV IS ELECTED. 

Leave it to a Pope to try and upstage Baby Jesus.

759:  TANG DYNASTY POET DU FU DEPARTS FOR CHENGDU, WHERE HE IS HOSTED BY FELLOW POET PEI DI.

Wa Da Fu.

1294:  POPE BONIFACE VIII IS ELECTED POPE, REPLACING ST. CELESTINE V, WHO HAD RESIGNED.

Probably caught the guy stealing from the Vatican Christmas Club at the bank.

1777:  KIRITIMATI, ALSO CALLED CHRISTMAS ISLAND, IS DISCOVERED BY JAMES COOK.

Technically, shouldn't it be called Christmas Eve Island?

1818: THE FIRST PERFORMANCE OF "SILENT NIGHT" TAKES PLACE IN A CHURCH IN AUSTRIA.

We'd hear it again. 

1826:  THE EGGNOG RIOT AT THE US MILITARY ACADEMY BEGINS THAT NIGHT.

It's all fun and games until somebody throws around some eggnog.

1851:  THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS BURNS.

All late fines are cancelled.

1865: THE KLU KLUX KLAN IS FORMED.

Just in time for the holidays.

1871:  AIDA OPENS IN CAIRO, EGYPT.

I wish her last name was Lot.

1886:  DIRECTOR MICHAEL CURTIZ IS BORN.

"Miss Veda makes me wear this when I answer the door."

1906:  REGINALD FESSENDEN TRANSMITS THE FIRST RADIO BROADCAST, CONSISTING OF A POETRY READING, A VIOLIN SOLO, AND A SPEECH.

No commercials yet?

1911:  THE LACKAWANNA CUT-OFF RAILWAY OPENS IN NEW JERSEY AND PENNSYLVANIA.

And immediately adopts a holiday schedule.

1914:  DURING WORLD WAR I, THE CHRISTMAS TRUCE BEGINS.

Yeah, that lasted.

1922:  ACTRESS AVA GARDNER IS BORN.

Now that's a Christmas present.

1929:  ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT ON ARGENTINE PRESIDENT HIPOLITO YRIGOYEN.

Now there's a name you can try and pronounce around the Christmas Eve yule log.

1939:  POPE PIUS XII MAKES A CHRISTMAS EVE APPEAL FOR PEACE.

As well as some offerings in the plate.

1943:  DURING WORLD WAR II, GENERAL DWIGHT D. EISENHOWER IS NAMED SUPREME ALLIED COMMANDER FOR THE NORMANDY INVASION.

Don't make any vacation plans for June next year.

1955:  NORAD TRACKS SANTA FOR THE FIRST TIME IN WHAT WILL BECOME AN ANNUAL CHRISTMAS EVE TRADITION.

Let's think about the impossible logistics of Santa delivering toys like this.  Seriously.

1968:  THE CREW OF APOLLO 8 ENTERS INTO ORBIT AROUND THE MOON, BECOMING THE FIRST HUMANS TO DO SO.  THEY TRANSMIT PHOTOS OF EARTH ON THIS NIGHT TO A TV AUDIENCE.

Probably impossible to put up a Christmas tree in that capsule.

1969:  CHARLES MANSON IS ALLOWED TO DEFEND HIMSELF AT THE TATE-LABIANCA MURDER TRIAL.

Yeah, how did that work out for you, creep?

1973:  THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA HOME RULE ACT IS PASSED, ALLOWING RESIDENTS OF WASHINGTON DC TO ELECT THEIR OWN LOCAL GOVERNMENT.

As if this is a good thing.

1974:  TV HOST RYAN SEACREST IS BORN.

On this holiday, an elf is born.

1975:  COMPOSER BERNARD HERRMANN DIES.

The true star of many Hitchcock movies.

1984:  ACTOR PETER LAWFORD DIES.

Hiccup.

1993:  MINISTER NORMAN VINCENT PEALE DIES.

No sermon at midnight.

1994:  AIR FRANCE FLIGHT 8969 IS HIJACKED IN ALGERIA.

One more holiday travel delay.

1997:  ACTOR TOSHIRO MIFUNE DIES.

Sayonara.

1999:  INDIAN AIRLINES FLIGHT 814 IS HIJACKED.

Apparently this is now a holiday tradition.

2012:  ACTOR CHARLES DURNING DIES.

I once flew back to LA with him.  He was in First Class.  I wasn't.  He's dead now.   I'm not.

2012:  ACTOR JACK KLUGMAN DIES.

Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.

Dinner last night:   Had a big lunch, so nothing really.





Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Your Vintage Christmas Ads for 2014

Remember to leave Santa cookies, milk, and an ashtray.
Gee, it's not even electric.
Think mistletoe, not melanoma.
Screw the milk, kid.
Lee Harvey Oswald shopped here.  Shouldn't you?
Two packs a day?  You won't be lucky at all.
 Damn, I had one of these.
Merry Christmas, Mommie Dearest.
I was thinking of you, Fatso.
Now this looks like Christmas at my house.
And these special Christmas cartons were a big hit with my mom.
 "You want me to cook you what???!"

Dinner last night:  Tamales at the home of good friends Leo and Connie.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Monday Morning Video Laugh - December 22, 2014

A wonderful holiday laugh from SNL a long time ago.

Dinner last night:  Steak, potatoes gratin, and salad at the home of good friends Amir and Kevin.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

The Sunday Memory Drawer - My Top 10 Christmas Movies of All Time

In no particular order.   No reason to rank these because they all have equal importance to me and my life.   And, yes, I have run most of this blog entry in previous years.   But, it's my annual holiday service to you.   Don't we all need a break today?

Maybe the weather outside is frightful.  Or you're wrapping presents.  Baking cookies.  You might want to multi-task by watching one of these movie suggestions.  They're all available on DVD.  And Turner Classic Movies shows several of them every year. 

These are my 10 must-watch movies for every Christmas.  And please note that "Miracle on 34th Street,"  "It's A Wonderful Life," and "A Christmas Story" are not included.  Don't get me wrong.  They are all terrific films, but played to death everywhere but in my house.  These movies all have personal connections to me in some shape or form.  So, if you disagree, I hope there's some coal mixed in with your buttered popcorn.

1.  I just saw "Meet Me in St. Louis" in a theater for the very first time.   They dragged out co-star June Lockhart for a post-film question-and-answer.  Ironically, most of the people were there to ask her all about the TV show "Lost in Space."  Hell, I want to know what Angela Cartwright is doing myself.  

None of that has anything to do with how wonderful a holiday treat this movie is.  Truth be told, Christmas only makes up one-quarter of the movie as it follows the Smith family through one whole year prior to the opening of the St. Louis World Fair in 1904.  Each portion is devoted to a calendar season and Christmas dominates the winter as it should.  

The scene where a dateless Judy Garland has to dance with her grandfather at the big Christmas Eve ball is priceless.  He twirls her around the Christmas tree and she magically reappears with her beau who was late in arriving.  One of those very simple cinematic moments that only director Vincente Minnelli could turn into pure gold.  

Of course, this is the film that sports my very favorite Christmas song..."Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas."   If you've heard countless versions of this ditty, you need to listen to the very best rendition by Miss Garland.

I remember watching "Meet Me in St. Louis" with my mom when I was about seven or eight.  In the middle of it all, she blurts out "if you had been a girl, I was going to name you Judy."

Okay.   So, there's that. 


2.  This is a mid-40s classic from the Warner Brothers back lot. In fact, they don't even get off a soundstage. For a movie from that era, it is still surprisingly modern. Because star Barbara Stanwyck plays a character very similar to Martha Stewart. A magazine writer who specializes in being an expert on hearth and home. And supposedly the greatest cook on the planet.

Her publisher hits on a publicity stunt where Stanwyck will provide a home-cooked Christmas meal for an injured soldier. Except nobody knows the woman can't cook and hasn't got one single domestic talent. The plot spins out into several directions from there, but it is all delicious screwball-y fun. And any movie that features S.Z "Cuddles" Sakall is okay in my book. This is a perfect film to watch while wrapping gifts on Christmas Eve day.  Or if you're finished off a quart of egg nog.
3.  This is technically not a Christmas movie, but it should be, since all the action happens around the holidays. This 1941 movie is another one that never leaves a Warner Brothers soundstage, but it really doesn't have to. You may know that this was originally a big hit on Broadway as written by Moss Hart and George S. Kaufman. And two members of that cast, Monty Wooley and Mary Wickes, reprise their roles in the movie, which features the most razor sharp dialogue ever captured on celluloid. 

There's not one unclever moment in the entire six reels. Who can't identify with the holiday guest who just won't leave? In this case, it's renowed critic and lecturer Sheridan Whiteside, who sprains his ankle and then sets up camp in somebody else's house for the holidays. As portrayed by Wooley, Whiteside is loosely based on Alexander Woolcott and he has one great barb after another. He's described this way: "He would have his mother burned at the stake if that was the only way he could light his cigarette." I wish people talked like these characters in real life. 

When Whiteside's nurse (Mary Wickes) forbids him from eating some candy, he retorts, "My great Aunt Jennifer ate a box of candy every day of her life. She lived to be one hundred and two, and when she had been dead for three days, she looked better than you do now." If that's not enough, throw in the fact that this is the only movie in history that co-starred Bette Davis and Jimmy Durante! Grab a box of your own candy and savor this great Christmas treat.

4.  Yeah, yeah, I know.   An obvious choice.  And, gee, Len, isn't this movie shown to death already?  Sadly, "White Christmas" is starting to fall in that category---the Christmas movie that is starting to look like your tree on January 15.  Dried out and ready for the dumpster.  You can thank some cable networks like the woefully annoying AMC for playing it over and over and over.  

Gee, thanks, idiots.  Because you're destroying another movie that landed on the list of my Top 25 Favorite Films of All Time at slot #23.  Sure, after repeated viewings, this film starts to look like "Off White Christmas."  But, still, it holds a special place in my heart and now, after some restorations, the film looks glorious all over again.  There was a special showing at selected movie theaters a few weeks back and, of course, I went.  If you missed it, the Blu Ray edition will do.  I'd be happy to loan you mine.

Right from the moment that Paramount's Vistavision logo exploded onto the screen to the last frames of the movie when the Pine Tree Lodge is celebrating a snowy Christmas Eve, I was moved to tears all over again.  Just like the very first time I saw it about 24 years ago.  When I was having a pretty crappy holiday and this boosted my spirits like a Vitamin B-12 injection. 

I had both my parents housed in separate hospitals with illnesses. Unfortunately, my dad was in the final stages of his cancer and this year would be his last Christmas. My mom was sequestered elsewhere dealing with one more smoke-provoked bronchial episode. I spent the holiday season shuttling between semi-private rooms located on opposite ends of Westchester. And I felt incredibly alone.

"White Christmas" gave me a little bit of hope and brightness for some darker days that would come. And it still shines for me every year.  Plus it's my second "must watch" holiday film featuring Mary Wickes.
5.  Yeah, yeah, you've never heard of it.  I did list it as #25 on my list of Top 25 Favorite Films of All Time, but perhaps you missed that entry.  And you say it's not a Christmas movie??

Oh, pish and tosh.  The film opens and ends on Christmas day one year later.  Good enough for me.  And it embodies everything that Christmas is all about.

"Since You Went Away" came out in 1944 and it is 100% devoted to the homefront during WWII. For what "Mrs. Miniver" and "Hope and Glory" did for the London bombings (and I have a good friend who lived through that), "Since You Went Away" wonderfully depicts life in the United States when most men were overseas someplace and completely out of touch with their family and loved ones. David O. Selznick produced it and hoped to do for World War II what his earlier effort "Gone With the Wind" did for the Civil War. Yes, it's almost three hours long, but it sails by and, for me, is a big screen version of the best macaroni and cheese you can ever eat.

Claudette Colbert plays the mother of Jennifer Jones and Shirley Temple (here, she's a teenager and Bill Robinson-less). The family is semi-well-to-do and lives in Everytown, USA. Hattie McDaniel, who was obviously highlighted in Selznick's phone book for all servant roles, is their housekeeper and there is not a single stereotypical note to her performance. You never see the father as he has just left for active duty on Christmas Eve as the film opens. What follows is a year in the life of the Hilton family with Dad gone.

You visit USO dances. You experience food rationing and scrap metal drives. You watch as neighbors lose loved ones in battle and then sense the uneasiness as others in the community grapple to find the right words to comfort them. It is probably the truest picture of life in our country as that war raged on in Europe and the South Pacific. The courage. The resiliency. The dread. It is all here in this terrific slice of Americana.

I came to see this movie for the first time about 17 years ago. I've probably seen it once a year ever since and always during Christmas week.  For me, it is a annual reminder of my grandmother, who was a mother during World War II. And she shared virtually all of the stories that are portrayed on screen. On cold winter Sunday afternoons, I would sit in her living room and hear about rationing and community dances and the fear that wrapped around you when a letter from the government arrived in the mail. She lost a son in France in 1945---I was named after him. This movie gives me more than a history lesson. It gives me back my grandmother one more time.

"Since You Went Away" turns up on Turner Classic Movies. It is worth three hours of your time. I defy you not to well up at the end of Act 1 or just prior to the finale. I double defy you.

6.  Forget "Elf" and any other Yuletide crap that Hollywood has passed off the last few years. The best Christmas movie to be produced in the last ten or so years is "Love Actually." It's one of those ultra-episodic scripts where about 15 characters have different storylines that may or may not be connected. It's a little confusing at first, as you meet practically the entire London phone book. But, hang on and you will get a wonderful present. 

Sure, there are about five characters and three storylines too many. But, they will scoot by quickly and you can revel in the more compelling tales. Laura Linney as a secretary who can't commit to any romance. Liam Neeson who is trying to be a parent to his young stepson as they both experience their first Noel without the recently-died Mom. The shaky marriage between Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson, who breaks your heart as she listens to a Joni Mitchell CD version of "Both Sides Now." I even liked Hugh Grant as a Tony Blair-like British Prime Minister. And there is a rendition of "All I Want for Christmas is You" that gives you goose bumps. If you've ever wanted to spend Christmas in London, this is the ideal virtual way to do so.
7.  Okay, what's a Christmas without one Disney cartoon?  And this one is the best in my book.  Because it was my mother's favorite cartoon.  Curiously, I don't remember seeing it with her on one of the many Disney re-issues over the years.  But, when it came out on...wait for it...VHS several decades ago, I bought it and we watched it together one Christmas afternoon.  Suddenly, I was the child again and Mom was the parent again.  Indeed, as always happens with aging folks, the dynamic had reversed.  But, not on this day.  Thank you, Lady and the Tramp, for one of the very last good and lasting memories of my mom.
8.  And then there's Christmas with Dad.  Here's the movie that connects me to him every December.  And, no worries.  This rollicking World War II comedy has a set piece that happens on Christmas Day when Tony Curtis is trying to steal some Polynesian farmer's pig for dinner.  But, moreover, this is the movie that I remember hearing my father laughing out loud for the very first time.

I know I saw it with him in a theater.  I do believe it played at the RKO Proctors in Mount Vernon, New York around Christmas time.  This may have been the way that I was shuttled out of the house for a few hours so that Mom could wrap my presents.  A lot of the ribald gags might have gone over my head.  But I didn't care.

My dad was convulsed with laughter.  And this was not a sight I saw frequently.  Plus there was one line that he repeated over and over and over when we got home.

"Can this submarine go down?"

"Like a rock."

For some reason, Dad loved that exchange.  Meanwhile, I did the same thing with this film when it came out many years ago on....wait for it again...VHS.  I watched it with my father one holiday season. 

He still laughed.
9.  Okay, truth be told, I don't watch "Ben-Hur" every year.   Since I'm already devoting three hours to "Since You Went Away," I'm not sure I have the time to view this three-hour-plus epic.  But, frequently, I can hear the voices in my head.  Most notably that of my mother, who used to drag me to every Biblical movie ever made.  She may not have gone to church, but she sure did run to the theater every time Charlton Heston appeared in a gladiator outfit.  Oddly enough, this was not one of the movies she took me to.

But then there was one holiday season where Judah Ben-Hur and I finally crossed paths.

On December 30, 1987, I tripped on my sneaker laces coming out of my bathroom.  Falling forward, I landed on my right arm with pain so severe that it actually made me laugh.  Nevertheless, I still headed out for the evening, totally ignorant of the fact that I had fractured the rotator cuff in my right shoulder.

I was less ignorant in the morning when the excruciating pain and a neighbor drove me to the emergency room.


Happy F-ing New Year!

I couldn't raise a glass of cheer, because I could barely raise a pencil. So, I was cooped up for the frivolity. And, to get my mind off my chipped bones, I decided to rent the longest movie I could find at the video store. That would be the 1959 rendition of "Ben-Hur," which I had surprisingly never seen. And, so I sat in front of a 19 inch television, arm in a sling and watching, for the first time, one of the biggest and successful epics Hollywood had ever made. It was probably the worst way to sample this film. And I certainly have seen it several times since in much better viewing conditions. But, I can't say that I have enjoyed it more than I did that very first time.

"Ben-Hur" is total validation that, at one isolated point in the fixed universe, Charlton Heston could really act. For a movie that is so large in scope and long in running time, "Ben-Hur" is an incredibly intimate story. Because, indeed, it's about one man's spiritual awakening.


Many of the movie's sequences are so legendary that all I have to do is simply mention them and you can conjure up an immediate image. The ship's galley. The chariot race. The leper colony. But, for me, the most memorable scenes are the ones where Judah Ben-Hur encounters Jesus Christ. The first time finds a beaten Judah, enslaved in a road gang, and a traveling Jesus gives him a drink of water. Many reels later, Judah returns the favor when Christ falls in front of him while carrying the cross to his own crucifixion. The symmetry of those two points in the movie is truly amazing and wonderfully choreographed by director William Wyler.

Of course, this was in the day when Hollywood worked hard to never show Jesus Christ's face on camera. Today, they probably would have no shame and they'd probably even cast Seth Rogan in the part.

You can't truly appreciate "Ben-Hur" until you see it on a big screen. And a wide one. A really wide one like the Egyptian Theater had several years back when I saw it there.   But the Blu-Ray on the 42 inch-screen in my living room last year wasn't bad either. 

And my arm wasn't in a sling.

10.  Okay, one more and I'm saving the best for last.  Truth be told, I watch "The Apartment" every year during the week between Christmas and New Year's.  Both those holidays are featured in the film, but it's the really organic blend of comedy and drama that makes it perfect for the post-Christmas doldrums.  You will laugh.  You will cry.  You will be moved.  It is life itself and that's why "The Apartment" is my #1 favorite movie of all time.  To understand it is to understand what we all deal with every single day.

There's no magical story why I am so connected to this film.  I did not see "The Apartment" till well after I got out of college. Now, it's one I see every year. It is an essential part of my annual film viewing. But, every time I see it, there is some new emotion or nuance that reveals itself to me. Perhaps it's a look or gesture from Shirley McLaine or Fred MacMurray that I missed. Maybe it's a line of dialogue that I suddenly realize was set up by another line of dialogue one reel earlier. There's always some new discovery for me.

And maybe it will be a discovery for you.  As well as the rest of the movies on this list.  Sure to bring holiday cheer...and even a tear...to your Christmas festivities.  Watch them with friends and family.  Watch them alone.

Just watch them.   And, if the Christmas tree lights are twinkling in the background, even better.

Dinner last night:  Garlic noodles with chicken and shrimp at Wokcano.