The Theory of Oscar Nominations

It's actually pretty simple.

If you want to score an almost slam dunk Oscar nomination, look for a script with the following requirements:

You have to gain a lot of weight.

You have to lose a lot of weight.

You have to look very, very sick.

You steadfastly campaign for civil rights.

You learn how to paint with your left foot.

And, if you happen to do one of those things in the film and you're of some color other than white...well, gee willikers, you might as well clear a place on the bookcase right now.   Oscar is going home with you!

Now, I mention none of this to belittle the performance of Eddie Redmayne as ALS-afflicted physicist Stephen Hawking.   It is luminous and I'm thinking he's the favorite right now to take the Best Actor Oscar come next February.  It's just that, as a movie, "The Theory of Everything" feels like something I have seen before.  On the Hallmark Channel.

Those of you who think that this must be a downer of a story, please allow me to share this one tidbit and a spoiler alert.  Hawking is still alive.   As a matter of fact, he's made at least two cameo appearances on "The Big Bang Theory."  So there is that upbeat ending to the film.   But, getting there is tough sledding.  If you're one of those clowns who dumped ice water on your head last summer, you will now see first-hand what you were raising dough for.  This is Lou Gehrig's Disease in its fullest impact.  I'm thinking that, had the years been reversed, we might be calling it Stephen Hawking's Disease.   It is that grueling to watch.

But, you do so to marvel at the acting of the two leads.   Besides Redmayne, there is steadfast work from Felicity Jones as the requisite long-suffering wife.  You watch and share their pain at every turn.  

And, despite it all, you feel like you saw it all someplace before.

We first meet Hawking at Cambridge University, circa 1963.  He's nothing more than a British version of Big Bang's Leonard, ogling across the room at his version of Big Bang's Penny.  They hit it off,  but, as the romance begins to blossom, calamity hits.   Before you know, Hawking starts to walk funny and then has a head-on collision with the sidewalk.  Doctors appear to make the grim diagnosis for this young man.  Every muscle in his body will start to fail and, oh, yeah, you'll be dead in two years.  At that point, Big Bang fans already know that Stephen will buck the odds by a couple of decades.

Despite the death sentence, the girlfriend goes full-court press to marry her love, even though she knows her life with him will be sheer hell.  Indeed, it is and we see it all from spasms to the tracheotomy that will ultimately take his real voice and be replaced by the robot.  Somehow, the Hawkings wind up with three children, so there's at least one muscle in his body that still works.   As comprehensive as this film is, we are spared that scene.

"The Theory of Everything" holds your attention mainly because of the star turns delivered by Redmayne and Jones.  It's an interesting story.    But, then...

Where have I seen it before?

LEN'S RATING:   An acting-driven three stars.

Dinner last night:  Pizza with prosciutto and argula at Via Veneto in White Plains.