1041: THE SON OF EMPRESS ZOE OF BYZANTIUM SUCCEEDS TO THE THRONE OF THE EASTERN ROMAN EMPIRE AS MICHAEL V.
Because the name Bobby Vee was already taken.
1508: THE LEAGUE OF CAMBRAI IS FORMED BY POPE JULIUS II, LOUIS XII OF FRANCE, MAXIMILIAN I AND FERDINAND II OF ARAGON AS AN ALLIANCE AGAINST VENICE.
The League has no DH.
1520: MARTIN LUTHER BURNS HIS COPY O THE PAPER BULL EXSURGE DOMINE.
The guy that started my religion!!
1541: THOMAS CULPEPPER AND FRANCIS DEREHAM ARE EXECUTED FOR HAVING AFFIAIRS WITH CATHERINE HOWARD, QUEEN OF ENGLAND.
Seems like she was the one who needed to be offed.
1684: ISAAC NEWTON'S DERIVATION OF KEPLER'S LAW FROM HIS THEORY OF GRAVITY IS READ TO THE ROYAL SOCIETY.
All this big deal just because an apple fell on his head.
1799: FRANCE ADOPTS THE METRE AS ITS OFFICIAL UNIT OF LENGTH.
Je ne care pas.
1817: MISSISSIPPI BECOMES THE 20TH STATE.
In my fantasy view of the US, this never happens.
1864: DURING THE CIVIL WAR, MAJOR GENERAL SHERMAN'S UNION ARMY TROOPS REACH THE CONFEDERATE DEFENSES OF SAVANNAH.
The famous March to the Sea.
1868: THE FIRST TRAFFIC LIGHTS ARE INSTALLED IN LONDON.
Back when people paid attention to them.
1884: MARK TWAIN'S ADVENTURES OF HUCKLEBERRY FINN IS PUBLISHED.
Samuel Clemens, to you.
1901: THE FIRST NOBEL PRIZES ARE AWARDED.
Back when they meant something. Nowadays, you can buy one on eBay.
1906: US PRESIDENT TEDDY ROOSEVELT WINS THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE FOR HIS ROLE IN THE MEDIATION OF THE RUSSO-JAPANESE WAR.
His niece Eleanor never got one. Obviously, it's all based on looks.
1909: CHOREOGRAPHER HERMES PAN IS BORN.
I always wanted to see the news headline if he got caught smoking marijuana. "Pan Smokes Pot."
1909: SELMA LAGERLOF BECOMES THE FIRST FEMALE WRITER TO WIN THE NOBEL PRIZE FOR LITERATURE.
See! Eight years in and it's already going downhill.
1911: JOURNALIST CHET HUNTLEY IS BORN.
Cigarette sales to go through the roof.
1914: ACTRESS DOROTHY LAMOUR IS BORN.
On the Road to Uterus.
1922: SOAP OPERA CREATOR AGNES NIXON IS BORN.
Here's her one life to live.
1923: ACTOR HAROLD GOULD IS BORN.
Rhoda's dad!
1925: ACTRESS JEAN BYRON IS BORN.
Patty Duke's mother! And Patty Duke's aunt!
1927: THE PHRASE "GRAND OLE OPRY" IS USED FOR THE FIRST TIME ON-AIR.
As opposed to the "Metropolitan Opry."
1928: ACTOR DAN BLOCKER IS BORN.
That must have been some labor.
1936: KING EDWARD VIII SIGNS THE INSTRUMENT OF ABDICATION.
All because of some woman.
1941: ACTOR TOMMY KIRK IS BORN.
A real shaggy dog story.
1941: ACTOR TOMMY RETTIG IS BORN.
Lassie!
1946: AUTHOR DAMON RUNYON DIES.
Guys and Corpses.
1948: THE UNITED NATIONS GENERAL ASSEMBLY ADOPTS THE UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS.
I much prefer the Paramount Declaration of Human Rights.
1955: MIGHTY MOUSE PLAYHOUSE PREMIERES ON AMERICAN TELEVISION.
Here he comes to save the day.
1964: CHEF BOBBY FLAY IS BORN.
Grill this.
1965: THE GRATEFUL DEAD'S FIRST CONCERT PERFORMANCE.
What's that I smell?
1967: SINGER OTIS REDDING DIES.
That's what you get for just sitting around.
1978: PRIME MINISTER OF ISRAEL MENACHEM BEGIN AND PRESIDENT OF EGYPT ANWAR SADAT ARE JOINTLY AWARDED THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.
Peace in the Mideast? Really???
1982: ACTOR FREEMAN GOSDEN DIES.
Of Amos and Andy fame. He was White, by the way.
1990: BUSINESSMAN ARMAND HAMMER DIES.
Love his baking soda.
1999: ACTRESS SHIRLEY HEMPHILL DIES.
No longer happening.
2005: POLITICIAN EUGENE MCCARTHY DIES.
In some respects, this happened in 1968.
2005: COMIC RICHARD PRYOR DIES.
Rumor is that his health was impacted by drugs. Really?
2013: THE LIFE OF NELSON MANDELA IS CELEBRATED IN A MEMORIAL SERVICE.
And I think it just ended last week.
Dinner last night: Bacon and cheddar omelet.
Tomorrow: From NY!
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