197: EMPEROR SEPTIMIUS SEVERUS DEFEATS USURPER CLODIUS ALBINUS IN THE BATTLE OF LUGDUNUM.
Five points if you know either of these guys and where Lugdunum is.
356: EMPEROR CONSTANTIUS II ISSUES A DECREE CLOSING ALL PAGAN TEMPLES IN THE ROMAN EMPIRE.
So, I'm assuming he is anti-Pagan.
1600: THE PERUVIAN STRATOVOLCANO HUAYNAPUTINA EXPLODES IN THE MOST VIOLENT RECORDED ERUPTION OF SOUTH AMERICA.
Was the stratovolcano by the same people who produced Strat-O-Matic Baseball?
1807: FORMER US VICE PRESIDENT AARON BURR IS ARRESTED FOR TREASON IN ALABAMA.
Hence, the word "former."
1846: IN AUSTIN, TEXAS, THE NEWLY FORMED TEXAS STATE GOVERNMENT IS OFFICIALLY INSTALLED.
Today, they want to be their own country.
1847: THE FIRST GROUP OF RESCUERS REACHES THE DONNER PARTY.
And why do I think this group failed, necessitating a second group of rescuers?
1859: DANIEL E. SICKLES, A NEW YORK CONGRESSMAN, IS ACQUITTED OF MURDER ON GROUNDS OF TEMPORARY INSANITY.
As opposed to NY Congressman Charles Rangel, whose insanity was permanent.
1861: SERFDOM IS ABOLISHED IN RUSSIA.
Serfs Up!
1878: THOMAS EDISON PATENTS THE PHONOGRAPH.
So we should blame him for Lady GaGa.
1884: MORE THAN SIXTY TORNADOES STRIKE THE SOUTHERN US.
The nineteenth century's edition of Global Warming.
1916: JOCKEY EDDIE ARCARO IS BORN.
Paying $5.50, $4.30, and $3.70.
1940: SINGER SMOKEY ROBINSON IS BORN.
Named because one of his relatives wanted to remind him always that he was Black. Okay, done.
1942: DURING WORLD WAR II, NEARLY 250 JAPANESE WARPLANES ATTACK THE AUSTRALIAN CITY OF DARWIN.
I never knew that Australia was under attack, too.
1942: PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT SIGNS THE EXECUTIVE ORDER 9066, ALLOWING FOR JAPANESE-AMERICANS TO BE RELOCATED INTO INTERNMENT CAMPS.
That's what they get for bombing kangaroos.
1945: ABOUT 30,000 US MARINES LAND ON THE ISLAND OF IWO JIMA.
Who's got the flag???
1953: GEORGIA APPROVES THE FIRST LITERATURE CENSORSHIP BOARD IN THE US.
For those in the state who could actually read.
1963: THE PUBLICATION OF BETTY FRIEDAN'S "THE FEMININE MYSTIQUE."
The end of the American housewife begins.
1969: ACTRESS MADGE BLAKE DIES.
Aunt Harriet on TV's "Batman."
1976: EXECUTIVE ORDER 9066, AS BEGAN IN 1942, IS RESCINDED BY PRESIDENT GERALD FORD.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
1985: WILLIAM SCHROEDER BECOMES THE FIRST RECIPIENT OF AN ARTIFICIAL HEART TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL.
Key phrase is "leave the hospital."
1996: BASEBALL OWNER CHARLIE FINLEY DIES.
Now who's the real jackass?
2001: THE OKLAHOMA CITY BOMBING MUSEUM IS DEDICATED.
Wow, that went up fast. Unlike the memorial near Ground Zero.
2001: FILM DIRECTOR STANLEY KRAMER DIES.
Guess Who's Coming to Heaven?
2003: SINGER JOHNNY PAYCHECK DIES.
Cashing it in.
Dinner last night: Leftover ravioli.
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