1632: THREE HUNDRED COLONISTS BOUND FOR NEW FRANCE DEPART FROM DIEPPE, FRANCE.
Which is apparently Old France.
1793: KINGDOM OF PRUSSIA RE-CONQUERS MAINZ FROM FRANCE.
Old or New. Not clear.
1829: IN THE US, WILLIAM AUSTIN BURT PATENTS THE TYPOGRAPHER, A PRECURSOR TO THE TYPEWRITER.
What's a typewriter?
1833: CORNERSTONES ARE LAID FOR THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE KIRTLAND TEMPLE IN OHIO.
They must have been some sexy cornerstones.
1840: THE PROVINCE OF CANADA IS CREATED.
Good, now hockey has some place to play.
1885: GENERAL ULYSSES S. GRANT DIES.
I've got a tomb for you.
1894: ACTOR ARTHUR TREACHER IS BORN.
Fish and chips are half price today.
1903: THE FORD MOTOR COMPANY SELLS ITS FIRST CAR.
Not interested until the radio is included as a standard option.
1918: BASEBALL STAR PEE WEE REESE IS BORN.
I hope he got his nickname because of his height.
1926: FOX FILM BUYS THE PATENTS FOR THE MOVIETONE SOUND SYSTEM.
Yeah, I know. We ain't heard nothing yet.
1927: THE FIRST STATION OF THE INDIAN BROADCASTING COMPANY GOES ON THE AIR.
First Indian sitcom: The Honeymonsooners.
1929: THE FASCIST GOVERNMENT IN ITALY BANS THE USE OF FOREIGN WORDS.
Unlike America where English is apparently banned.
1933: ACTOR BURT CONVY IS BORN.
In the Banana Section.
1940: RADIO HOST DON IMUS IS BORN.
Dirtbag.
1942: DURING WORLD WAR II, THE GERMAN OFFENSIVES OF OPERATION EDELWEISS AND OPERATION BRAUNSCHWEIG BEGIN.
Edelweiss was more appealing when it was a song on Broadway.
1943: THE RAYLEIGH BATH CHAIR MURDER OCCURS IN ENGLAND.
Now don't you want to know what that was all about?
1948: DIRECTOR D.W. GRIFFITH DIES.
The Death of a Director.
1952: GENERAL MUHAMMAD MAGUIB LEADS AN OVERTHROW OF KING FAROUK OF EGYPT.
Farouk Off.
1962: TELSTAR RELAYS THE FIRST TRANS-ATLANTIC TELEVISION PROGRAM, FEATURING WALTER CRONKITE.
And still there was nothing on.
1966: ACTOR MONTGOMERY CLIFT DIES.
From here to eternity. Trip complete.
1967: ONE OF THE WORST RACE RIOTS IN US HISTORY BEGINS ON 12TH STREET IN DETROIT, MICHIGAN.
Main excuse for rioting: "it was hot."
1968: THE ONLY SUCCESSFUL HIJACKING OF AN EL AL AIRCRAFT TAKES PLACE WHEN A JETLINER IS COMMANDEERED BY THREE MEMBERS OF THE POPULAR FRONT FOR THE LIBERATION OF PALESTINE.
This shit never ends.
1973: MONICA LEWINSKY IS BORN.
Okay, Miss, it's past sixty days. Please come and pick up your dry cleaning.
1982: THE INTERNATIONAL WHALING COMMISSION DECIDES TO END COMMERCIAL WHALING BY 1985-86.
Okay, who's going to hire a guy with one leg?
1982: ACTOR VIC MORROW DIES.
A head of his time.
1984: VANESSA WILLIAMS BECOMES THE FIRST MISS AMERICA TO RESIGN AFTER NUDE PHOTOS OF HER APPEAR IN PENTHOUSE.
What? Bess Myerson never got naked?
1986: IN LONDON, ENGLAND, PRINCE ANDREW, DUKE OF YORK MARRIES SARAH FERGUSON.
In retrospect, I wish I had ten years in the office pool.
1989: ACTOR DANIEL RADCLIFFE IS BORN.
Loved him on Broadway in "How to Succeed."
1992: A VATICAN COMMISSION, LED BY JOSEPH RATZINGER, ESTABLISHES THAT LIMITING CERTAIN RIGHTS OF GAY PEOPLE AND NON-MARRIED COUPLES IS NOT EQUIVALENT TO DISCRIMINATION ON GROUNDS OF RACE OR GENDER.
And this is the guy who resigned as Pope, right?
1995: COMET HALE-BOPP IS DISCOVERED.
Hale Bopp? He had a big song in the 50s, I think.
2010: JOURNALIST DANIEL SCHORR DIES.
Washed up on...
2011: SINGER AMY WINEHOUSE DIES.
Because there was way too much wine available in that house.
2012: ASTRONAUT SALLY RIDE DIES.
Roger and out.
Dinner last night: Chinese chicken salad.
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