Friday, February 19, 2016

Your Weekend Movie Guide for February 2016

Here's the historic Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard back in 1955 when a subway train blew air up Marilyn's skirt.   Or something like that.  Note the big sign heralding that this film was in Cinemascope.  Back then, movie theaters were surprisingly in a fight for patrons against that new fangled television set in the living room.  So they used gimmicks like wide screens and stereophonic sound to lure folks back in from of the big screen.

It's hard to believe that the motion picture industry was that vulnerable in the 50s.  Today, there's plenty of room for both film and TV.  The only trouble is that there's usually nothing good to see in either place.   But, at least this February, we have the Oscar nominated stuff dominating your local cineplex. With the awards one week away, let's see what's cluttering our movie houses.   You know the monthly routine, gang.   I'll sift through the entertainment section of the LA Times and give you my gut reaction to what's playing.

At least at the Chinese Theater, you can go and look at the footprints if the movie inside sucks.

Brooklyn:   Like the borough, this thing is still hanging around.   And the more I think about this film, the more I think I overrated it when I first saw it.

45 Years:   Blog review coming.   Worth your time.

Creed:   Reviewed here recently.   Not worth your time.

The Big Short:   Reviewed here recently.  Perhaps one of the two movies that could wind up as Best Picture.   

Spotlight:  Reviewed here recently.   The other movie that could wind up as Best Picture.

Bridge of Spies:   I finally caught up to this flick On Demand and enjoyed it thoroughly.   A stylish piece of history from Steven Spielberg.   I never reviewed it, but it's definitely getting three-and-a-half Len stars.

Carol:  Blog review coming.   If I can stay awake.   Get the picture?

Hail, Caesar!:   I had five friends who saw it opening weekend and hated it. Then my pastor tells me she loved it.   How does one reconcile that disparity??

Room:   Reviewed here recently.  Great performance by Brie Larson, not the cheese.

The Lady in the Van:   Proof that Maggie Smith can't simply be nominated for every single role.

Son of Saul:  To be followed by Saul Meets Godzilla.

The Good Dinosaur:   Only for those who haven't lost faith in Pixar.

Crazy About Tiffany:   A documentary all about that story that has nothing but blue boxes.

Anomalisa:  This is one of those weird adult animated films that probably makes no sense.   Gimme me Bugs and Daffy any day.

Cabin Fever:   A remake of a 2002 horror film and....why????

We Are Twisted Sister:   A documentary, duh.

Race:   All about Jesse Owens and the 1936 Berlin Olympics.   You see how that title has a double meaning?   I bet you thought I wasn't going to pick up on that.

The Forbidden Room:   A movie that allegedly involves a submarine, a woodsman, cave dwellers, vampire bananas, Charlotte Rampling, and Geraldine Chaplin.   That's a joke all by itself.

Forsaken:  A western with Kiefer and Donald Sutherland.   Oh, how cute is that?

Snowtime!:   An animated musical from France about a snowball fight.  I'm not kidding.

Risen:   All about Jesus' final weeks.   As if he's starring on Broadway.

Concussion:  Blog review coming.  A head injury all to itself.

Daddy's Home:  Will Ferrell stars.   So is Len.

The Danish Girl:  I finally got to see it via a screener.  Good performances.   Eddie Redmayne is one good looking chick. 

Dirty Grandpa:  Robert DeNiro has no bad script filter whatsoever.

Fifty Shades of Black:  Gee, are we going to go through every crayon in the Crayola box?

How to Be Single:   Now they come up with a manual???

Deadpool:  It's not about predicting which celebrity will die next?

The Revenant:  A friend had a great line.   Told me this movie has so many weird noises that it sounded like a two-and-a-half hour commercial for Dulcolax.

Where to Invade Next:  More crap from Michael Moore.   He loves most European countries more than America.   So move already.

13 Hours:  You won't find Hillary Clinton eating her Goobers at this movie.

Star Wars - The Force Awakens:   It won't stop playing until it has our very last dollar.

The Hateful Eight:   I hear that the first two thirds of this three hour long effort are terrific, but that the last hour is virtually unwatchable.

The Finest Hours:  One of those rescue sagas that saves everybody but the audience.

The 5th Wave:   The world is more time.

Misconduct:  A young attorney is caught between his firm's senior partner (Al Pacino) and a drug mogul (Anthony Hopkin).  Well, that's a terrific pairing.   So how come I have heard zero about this movie?

Joy:   Blog review coming, but here's a sneak preview.   Surprisingly better than I thought.

Ride Along 2:   Stop it before it kills again.

Dinner last night:  Sandwich at the New York apartment.

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