303: GALERIUS PUBLISHES HIS EDICT THAT BEGINS THE PERSECUTION OF CHRISTIANS IN THE ROMAN EMPIRE.
As if this happening today in the Mideast is a new thing.
484: KING HUNERIC REMOVES THE CHRISTIAN BISHOPS FROM THEIR OFFICES AND BANISHED SOME TO CORSICA.
Ditto.
1387: KING CHARLES III OF NAPLES AND HUNGARY IS ASSASSINATED AT BUDA.
Naples and Hungary? That's a pairing you'd only find on a Monopoly board.
1582: WITH THE PAPAL BULL INTER GRAVISSIMAS, POPE GREGORY XIII ANNOUNCES THE GREGORIAN CALENDAR.
Calendar available with every car wash.
1607: L'ORFEO BY MONTEVERDI, ONE OF THE FIRST OPERAS, PREMIERES.
Let the naps begin.
1803: IN MARBURY V. MADISON, THE SUPREME COURT OF THE US ESTABLISHES THE PRINCIPLE OF JUDICIAL REVIEW.
Marbury by TKO.
1809: LONDON'S DRURY LANE THEATER BURNS TO THE GROUND, LEAVING OWNER RICHARD SHERIDAN DESTITUTE.
Should have called Allstate.
1815: INVENTOR ROBERT FULTON DIES.
Folly.
1831: THE TREATY OF DANCING RABBIT CREEK, THE FIRST REMOVAL TREATY OF INDIANS, IS PROCLAIMED.
Yeah, now you pissed them off. Or so says John Wayne.
1848: KING LOUIS-PHILIPPE OF FRANCE ABDICATES THE THRONE.
Mon Dieu!
1863: ARIZONA IS ORGANIZED AS A US TERRITORY.
Good. Just in time for spring training.
1868: ANDREW JOHNSON BECOMES THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE US TO BE IMPEACHED BY THE HOUSE. HE IS LATER ACQUITTED IN THE SENATE.
Gee, Monica Lewinsky sure got around.
1909: NELLIE CONNALLY IS BORN.
And died in 2006. The last one to die of those in that fateful Dallas limo.
1920: THE NAZI PARTY IS FOUNDED.
Dues are payable...IMMEDIATELY!!!
1921: ACTOR ABE VIGODA IS BORN.
Go fish.
1931: ACTOR DOMINIC CHIANESE IS BORN.
Also quite the Italian singer.
1942: THE BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES, ONE OF THE LARGEST DOCUMENTED UFO SIGHTINGS IN HISTORY.
Meanwhile, the illegal aliens will ultimately win.
1946: COLONEL JUAN PERON ELECTED TO HIS FIRST TERM AS PRESIDENT OF ARGENTINA.
Not crying for you.
1955: BUSINESSMAN STEVE JOBS IS BORN.
Some sort of computer guy.
1968: VIETNAM WAR - THE TET OFFENSIVE IS HALTED.
Tet's all, folks.
1980: THE US OLYMPIC HOCKEY TEAM COMPLETES ITS MIRACLE ON ICE TO WIN THE GOLD MEDAL.
A really big deal in Al Michaels' house.
1983: A SPECIAL COMMISSION OF THE US CONGRESS RELEASES A REPORT THAT CONDEMNS JAPANESE INTERNMENT DURING WORLD WAR II.
A practice started by FDR. I'm just saying.
1990: BASEBALL PLAYER TONY CONIGLIARO DIES.
He never saw it coming.
1990: PUBLISHER MALCOLM FORBES DIES.
Subscription cancelled.
1990: SINGER JOHNNIE RAY DIES.
Now we really cry.
1991: GAME SHOW HOST JOHN CHARLES DALY DIES.
What's his line? "Corpse."
1991: COMIC GEORGE GOBEL DIES.
Now he's really lonesome.
1994: SINGER DINAH SHORE DIES.
See the USA...in a hearse.
1998: COMIC HENNY YOUNGMAN DIES.
Take my life, please.
2006: ACTOR DON KNOTTS DIES.
He lived two floors above me in this apartment building.
2006: ACTOR DENNIS WEAVER DIES.
McCloud now with the clouds.
2014: ACTOR HAROLD RAMIS DIES.
Who you gonna call?
Dinner last night: Turkey burger at the Westchester Burger Company.
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