Happy birthday, Winch. And you're not just putting words in my mouth. By the way, Paul is the one on the right.
1140: CONRAD III OF GERMANY BESIEGED WEINSBERG.
That Germans vs. Jews stuff started earlier than we thought.
1620: WILLIAM BRADFORD AND THE MAYFLOWER PILGRIMS LAND ON WHAT IS NOW KNOWN AS PLYMOUTH ROCK, MASSACHUSETTS.
And immediately went to Target for the day-after sale.
1832: EGYPTIAN FORCES DECISIVELY DEFEAT OTTOMAN TROOPS AT THE BATTLE OF KONYA.
The Battle of Konya. Now that's one that never shows up as a category on Jeopardy.
1861: PUBLIC RESOLUTION 82, CONTAINING A PROVISION FOR A NAVY MEDAL OF VALOR, IS SIGNED INTO LAW BY PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
Even then, this brilliant President had the foresight to know that, years later, John F. Kennedy would need to get some award for PT 109.
1872: HMS CHALLENGER, COMMANDED BY CAPTAIN GEORGE NARES, SAILS FROM PORTSMOUTH.
Hopefully, this Challenger fared better than the one in the second half of the next century.
1879: THE WORLD PREMIERE OF HENRIK IBSEN'S "A DOLL'S HOUSE" IS HELD IN COPENHAGEN.
The mark-up on Stubhub was ridiculous.
1913: THE FIRST CROSSWORD PUZZLE IS PUBLISHED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES.
If it was a Sunday, you can bet it was hard.
1922: VENTRILOQUIST PAUL WINCHELL IS BORN.
Oddly enough, Jerry Mahoney was born one year earlier.
1926: FOOTBALL COACH JOE PATERNO IS BORN.
He thinks this was his birthday. He never really told us.
1935: TV HOST PHIL DONAHUE IS BORN.
Still, to this day, the best interviewer ever. Yes, folks, even better than Larry King.
1937: "SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS," THE WORLD'S FIRST FULL-LENGTH CARTOON, PREMIERES AT THE CARTHAY CIRCLE THEATER IN LOS ANGELES.
This was allegedly one of the grandest movie palaces ever built. It's now an office complex.
1937: ACTRESS JANE FONDA IS BORN.
Could have been the eighth dwarf born the same day. "Hippie."
1940: MUSICIAN FRANK ZAPPA IS BORN.
Speaking of hippies. The hell with his musical legacy. This kook actually named his kids Moon Unit and Dweezil.
1940: WRITER F. SCOTT FITZGERALD DIES.
Any guesses on the alcohol content in his autopsy?
1948: ACTOR SAMUEL L. JACKSON IS BORN.
And speaking of bad actors. No, wait, we weren't.
1954: TENNIS STAR CHRIS EVERT IS BORN.
Back in the day, I would string her racket if she asked.
1957: COMEDIAN RAY ROMANO IS BORN.
Everybody, including me, loves Raymond.
1960: NEW YORK MET PITCHER ROGER MCDOWELL IS BORN.
While he didn't exactly set the baseball world on fire, he did ignite his foot once.
1967: LOUIS WASHKANSKY, THE FIRST MAN TO UNDERGO A HEART TRANSPLANT, DIES IN CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA, AFTER LIVING FOR 18 DAYS AFTER THE TRANSPLANT.
If he had lasted any longer, the bills alone would have killed him.
1968: APOLLO 8, THE FIRST MANNED MISSION TO THE MOON, IS LAUNCHED FROM FLORIDA.
These astronauts found a neat way to avoid their families during the Christmas holidays.
1969: THE GAY ACTIVISTS ALLIANCE IS FORMED IN NEW YORK CITY.
Just in time for the holidays. God rest ye merry gentlemen.
1969: THE UNITED NATIONS ADOPTS THE CONVENTION ON THE ELIMINATION OF ALL FORMS OF RACIAL DISCRIMINATION.
As opposed to taking on discrimination one race at a time.
1974: ACTOR RICHARD LONG DIES.
Nanny's Professor no longer has office hours.
1988: A BOMB EXPLODES ON BOARD PAN AM FLIGHT 103 OVER LOCKERBIE, SCOTLAND, KILLING 270.
The very first valid reason for blowing up the Middle East.
2001: SPORTSWRITER DICK SCHAAP DIES.
2009: NORTHWEST AIRLINES FLIGHT 253 WAS ALMOST BOMBED BY AL QAIDA---THE CHRISTMAS DAY BOMBING ATTEMPT.
The 125th valid reason for blowing up the Middle East.
Dinner last night: Leftover sweet and sour chicken with rice.