41: AFTER A NIGHT OF NEGOTIATION, CLAUDIUS IS ACCEPTED AS ROMAN EMPEROR BY THE SENATE.
It pays to have Scott Boras as an agent.
1348: A STRONG EARTHQUAKE STRIKES THE SOUTH ALPINE REGION OF FRIULI IN MODERN ITALY, CAUSING CONSIDERABLE DAMAGES TO BUILDINGS AS FAR AWAY AS ROME.
1348 and they're already calling it modern Italy???
1533: HENRY VIII OF ENGLAND SECRETLY MARRIES HIS SECOND WIFE ANNE BOLEYN.
So this really happened? It wasn't just a Herman's Hermits song?
1573: IN JAPAN'S BATTLE OF MIKATAGAHARA, TAKEDA SHINGEN DEFEATS TOKUGAWA IEYASU.
You type that sentence fast and see what happens.
1787: AMERICAN DANIEL SHAYS LEADS A REBELLION TO SEIZE FEDERAL ARSENAL TO PROTEST DEBTOR'S PRISONS.
1791: THE BRITISH PARLIAMENT PASSES THE CONSTITUTIONAL ACT OF 1791 AND SPLITS QUEBEC INTO UPPER AND LOWER CANADA.
Did this divide a hockey franchise in half, too?
1858: THE WEDDING MARCH BY FELIX MENDELSSOHN BECOMES A POPULAR WEDDING RECESSIONAL AFTER IT IS PLAYED ON THIS DAY AT THE MARRIAGE OF QUEEN VICTORIA'S DAUGHTER AND FRIEDRICH OF PRUSSIA.
Some now confuse this song with Taps.
1881: THOMAS EDISON AND ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL FORM THE ORIENTAL TELEPHONE COMPANY.
Did they even know what country they were living in at the time?
1882: WRITER VIRGINIA WOOLF IS BORN.
Anybody afraid of this?
1890: NELLIE BLY COMPLETES HER ROUND-THE-WORLD JOURNEY IN 72 DAYS.
Can you imagine what she could have done with more vacation time?
1915: ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL INAUGURATES U.S. TRANSCONTINENTAL TELEPHONE SERVICE, SPEAKING FROM NEW YORK TO THOMAS WATSON IN SAN FRANCISCO.
So he finally got off that Oriental Phone kick.
1919: THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS IS FOUNDED.
With no designated hitter.
1919: JOURNALIST EDWIN NEWMAN IS BORN.
A journalist? What the heck is that?
1931: ACTOR DEAN JONES IS BORN.
And Herbie the Love Bug finally gets his driver.
1937: THE GUIDING LIGHT SOAP OPERA DEBUTS ON NBC RADIO.
And it lasted on CBS television until September of 2009. That's a whole shitload of residuals for the original writers and creators.
1942: DURING WORLD WAR II, THAILAND DECLARES WAR ON THE UNITED STATES AND UNITED KINGDOM.
What were these idiots thinking? Mismatch!!
1945: THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE ENDS.
Woo hoo. We can have dessert again.
1947: GANGSTER AL CAPONE DIES.
It was a heart attack and not a tommy gun that got him.
1949: IN HOLLYWOOD, THE FIRST EMMY AWARDS ARE PRESENTED.
Regis Philbin was the host.
1961: IN WASHINGTON DC, PRESIDENT JOHN F. KENNEDY DELIVERS THE FIRST LIVE PRESIDENTIAL TELEVISION NEWS CONFERENCE.
Giving Edwin Newman something fun to do on his birthday.
1971: CHARLES MANSON AND THREE FAMILY MEMBERS ARE FOUND GUILTY OF THE 1969 TATE-LABIANCA MURDERS.
Apparently it was possible for a Los Angeles jury to get one right.
1971: IDI AMIN LEADS A COUP AND BECOMES UGANDA'S PRESIDENT.
Now there's a real charmer.
1990: ACTRESS AVA GARDNER DIES.
A stunning movie star and even more noteworthy because she was the only woman who actually could beat Frank Sinatra in a fistfight.
1996: BILLY BAILEY BECAME THE LAST PERSON TO BE HANGED IN THE UNITED STATES.
You should have listened. We told you to please come home.
1996: COMPOSER JONATHAN LARSON DIES.
He did "Rent" and now his lease is up.
2010: METS ORGANIST JANE JARVIS DIES.
She ran out of Mets to meet.
Dinner last night: BBQ chopped salad.