Sunday, August 6, 2017

The Sunday Memory Drawer - Thinking About Dating

I've used this photo before and I still don't know who the girl is that's whipping me around the dance floor at some family party a hundred years ago.   And, anybody I could ask for details is sadly no longer with us.

But the photo gets used again because of the memory today.  Spurred completely by a conversation I had recently with my childhood best friend Leo about the movie "The Big Six."  Oddly, the whole dialogue happened as we were driving back from a Dodger game.

Now, I reviewed the film here a few weeks ago and I heartily recommend it for the humor and the heart portrayed.  Part of the plot revolves around the Pakistani hero of the piece, a stand-up comic who is dating a white bread American girl.   The whole story revolves around the real life romance of the star and the screenwriter of the film, so it is very organic.   

The Pakistani guy is afraid to tell his family who he's dating because they are devout Muslims and are insistent he participate in an arranged marriage with his "own type."

As I was explaining the movie to my buddy who has not yet seen it, we meandered into a conversation about our own dating worlds.   He is married.  I never have been.  And this led me to wonder about my own history in this realm.

Leo explained that, while not a stickler, he always knew that he would be marrying a Christian with Catholicism preferred.  I thought about my own dating experiences.   Was I a stickler or not?  Hmmm.

I should not have surprised if I was, given the surroundings of my home.   Most of my cousins were all a bit older than me and were already entrenched in the dating world.   When the first two got engaged to Catholics, my grandmother was not pleased.

"What's the matter?   You couldn't find a nice Lutheran."

This did set up a bit of a conflict in the family.   I don't remember my own parents weighing in on the topic.   The only time my dad gave me any dating advice was when there was a serial killer going around and attacking young people making out in cars.  As I was headed out the door for an evening, I would hear him call out.

"Don't be parking any place dark."

Thanks, Dad.  And mind your business.

As I think about it, I have had five extended relationships in my life.   The score by religion was one Lutheran, one Presbyterian, and three Catholics.   Of the latter three, there were some holiday masses attended.  One does what one has to do.   At this juncture, Grandma was long gone.  I had no worries.

Now, as I think about this from my past, I obviously didn't have a hard and fast rule about who I got serious with.   While I certainly didn't care what somebody's religion was, I apparently related best with a Christian.  Drilling that down a little further, I know I did shy away from dates with somebody who wore their religion very much on their sleeve.   As far as I was concerned, you could embrace it with one arm.  Embracing it with two often meant a relationship that would be uncomfortable at the least.

It's amazing where your mind wanders when you talk about a movie you just saw.

Dinner last night:  Sausage, peppers, and onions at Carlo's in Yonkers.

No comments: