It's back to school. And here's your first history lesson of the semester.
70: ROMAN FORCES UNDER TITUS SACK JERUSALEM.
Jerusalem should never have tried to go for it on fourth down.
1331: STEPHEN UROS IV DUSAN DECLARES HIMSELF KING OF SERBIA.
But who got Florida's electoral votes?
1504: MICHELANGELO'S DAVID IS UNVEILED IN FLORENCE.
And, all of a sudden, Italian women begin to clamor for David's phone number.
1565: THE KNIGHTS OF MALTA LIFT THE TURKISH SIEGE OF MALTA.
And, later on, they also defeated the Knights of Columbus as well as the Kiwanis.
1755: BATTLE OF LAKE GEORGE BEGINS DURING THE FRENCH AND INDIAN WAR.
The French? The Indians? Gee, I'd be hardpressed to root for anybody in this one.
1796: DURING THE FRENCH REVOLUTIONARY WAR, FRENCH FORCES DEFEAT AUSTRIAN TROOPS AT BASSANO DEL GRAPPA.
Hey, France, where was all this fighting spirit during WWII?
1863: DURING THE AMERICAN CIVIL WAR, A SMALL CONFEDERATE FORCE THWARTS A UNION INVASION OF TEXAS AT THE MOUTH OF THE SABINE RIVER.
The good news is that France finally decided to sit one out.
1888: IN ENGLAND, THE FIRST SIX FOOTBALL LEAGUE MATCHES ARE PLAYED.
Also signaled the invention of the sports bar.
1892: THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE IS FIRST RECITED.
Do school kids even do this anymore?
1915: ACTOR FRANK CADY IS BORN.
Yay, Sam Drucker! And he's still with us!!
1921: 16-YEAR-OLD MARGARET GORMAN WINS THE ATLANTIC CITY PAGEANT'S GOLDEN MERMAID TROPHY AND OFFICIALS LATER DUB HER THE FIRST MISS AMERICA.
A note to those of you who thought it was Bess Myerson.
1925: ACTOR PETER SELLERS IS BORN.
Sellers died in 1980, which means Frank Cady's career was longer.
1926: GERMANY IS ADMITTED TO THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS.
The League didn't exactly think that through, did they?
1930: 3M BEGINS MARKETING SCOTCH TRANSPARENT TAPE.
How soon was it before the tape end got stuck to the roll rendering it useless?
1935: US SENATOR FROM LOUISIANA, HUEY LONG, IS FATALLY SHOT IN THE LOUISIANA CAPITOL BUILDING.
And all the king's horses and all the king's men...
1941: DURING WORLD WAR II, GERMAN FORCES BEGIN A SIEGE AGAINST THE SOVIET UNION'S SECOND LARGEST CITY, LENINGRAD.
League of Nations, we told you so.
1966: STAR TREK PREMIERES ON NBC.
And a sci-fi comic book geek is born somewhere.
1968: THE BEATLES PERFORM THEIR LAST LIVE TV PERFORMANCE ON THE DAVID FROST SHOW. THEY PERFORM THEIR NEW HIT "HEY JUDE."
The most annoying Beatles song ever written. I'm just saying.
1969; TV HOST BUD COLLYER DIES.
To tell the truth, Bud couldn't beat the clock.
1974; PRESIDENT GERALD FORD PARDONS FORMER PRESIDENT RICHARD NIXON FOR ANY CRIMES COMMITTED IN OFFICE.
Say what you want, Ford's move was one of the guttiest decisions by any President. And it pretty much delivered us Jimmy Carter on a silver platter.
Dinner last night: Grilled filet mignon cubes at Pearl District.
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