1249: ANDREW OF LONGJUMEAU IS DISPATCHED BY LOUIS IX OF FRANCE AS HIS AMBASSADOR TO MEET WITH MONGOL KHAGAN OF THE MONGOL EMPIRE.
Sounds complicated to me.
1804: DURING THE FIRST BARBARY WAR, STEPHEN DECATUR LEADS A RAID TO BURN THE PIRATE-HELD FRIGATE USS PHILADELPHIA.
And, later on, he got his own street in the Bronx. If that's an obscure joke for you, I wrote it exclusively for one of my readers. If you want your own customized gag here, please drop a line and I will be happy to comply.
1852: STUDEBAKER BROTHERS WAGON COMPANY, PRECURSOR OF THE AUTOMOBILE MANUFACTURER, IS ESTABLISHED.
Little did they know how many kids would be conceived in the back of one.
1859: THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT PASSES A LAW TO SET THE A-NOTE ABOVE MIDDLE C TO A FREQUENCY OF 435 HZ IN AN ATTEMPT TO STANDARDIZE THE PITCH.
Now there's a country with absolutely nothing to do.
1868: IN NEW YORK CITY, THE JOLLY CORKS ORGANIZATION IS RENAMED THE BENEVOLENT AND PROTECTIVE ORDER OF ELKS.
Now there's a club with absolutely nothing to do.
1899: KNATTSPYRNUFELAG REYKJAVIKUR ICELAND'S FIRST FOOTBALL CLUB IS FOUNDED.
And so apparently is the first eye chart.
1903: VENTRILOQUIST EDGAR BERGEN IS BORN.
He made a lot of money off Charlie McCarthy, so who's the dummy now?
1909: ACTOR HUGH BEAUMONT IS BORN.
Just what was he doing with the Beaver in that den?
1918: SINGER PATTY ANDREWS IS BORN.
The one Andrews Sister still alive. My grandmother used to call them "three ugly Guineas." Except they were Greek. Grandma missed one every once in a while.
1923: HOWARD CARTER UNSEALS THE BURIAL CHAMBER OF PHARAOH TUTANKHAMUN.
That's got to be a quick way to stir up some dust allergies.
1921: ACTRESS/DANCER VERA-ELLEN IS BORN.
A terrific talent who died too young. She and Rosemary Clooney stole the movie "White Christmas" right out from under Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye.
1928: ENTERTAINER EDDIE FOY DIES.
Now it's the six little Foys.
1935: SINGER SONNY BONO IS BORN.
This gag pays off in just a little bit.
1936: AMERICAN SKIER JILL KINMONT IS BORN.
So, on successive February 16s, we have the birth of one really lousy skier and one really good one.
1937: WALLACE H. CAROTHERS RECEIVES A UNITED STATES PATENT FOR NYLON.
And I bet he liked to wear them, too.
1945: DURING WORLD WAR II, AMERICAN FORCES LAND ON CORREGIDOR ISLAND IN THE PHILIPPINES.
The beginning of the end for those Nip bastards. Can I say that?
1967: HOCKEY PLAYER KEITH GRETZKY IS BORN.
Talking about having your thunder stolen.
1968: IN HALEYVILLE, ALABAMA, THE FIRST 9-1-1 EMERGENCY TELEPHONE SYSTEM GOES INTO SERVICE.
In Alabama, nobody can remember what you dial to reach 9-1-1.
1985: HEZBOLLAH IS FOUNDED.
And our world hasn't been the same since.
2001: SEX DOCTOR WILLIAM MASTERS DIES.
Talk about a cool profession.
2005: THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE CANCELS THE ENTIRE 2004-2005 REGULAR SEASON AND PLAYOFFS, BECOMING THE FIRST MAJOR SPORTS LEAGUE TO DO SO OVER A LABOR DISPUTE.
Inconveniencing thousands of fans in Canada. And two dozen in the United States.
2006: THE LAST MOBILE ARMY SURGICAL HOSPITAL (M*A*S*H*) IS DECOMMISSIONED BY THE US ARMY.
The series ran eight years longer than the Korean War it was set in.
2012: BASEBALL STAR GARY CARTER DIES.
Class act.
2015: SINGER LESLEY GORE DIES.
We'll cry if we want to.
Dinner last night: Leftover SPO.
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