585 BC: LUCIUS TARQUINIUS PRISCUS, KING OF ROME, CELEBRATES A TRIUMPH FOR HIS VICTORY OVER THE SABINES.
I don't know who any of these people are.
509 BC: THE TEMPLE OF JUPITER OPTIMUS MAXIMUS ON ROME'S CAPITOLINE HILL IS DEDICATED ON THE IDES OF SEPTEMBER.
So every month has ides? I did not know that.
1501: MICHELANGELO BEGINS WORK ON HIS STATUE OF DAVID.
Is it me or did he spend way too much time around the crotch area?
1504: QUEEN ISABELLA AND KING FERDINAND ISSUES A ROYAL WARRANT FOR THE CONSTRUCTION OF A ROYAL CHAPEL.
All of this is a royal pain.
1609: HENRY HUDSON REACHES THE RIVER THAT WOULD LATER BE NAMED THE HUDSON RIVER.
Long before it became a Mafia burial ground.
1743: GREAT BRITAIN, AUSTRIA, AND THE KINGDOM OF SARDINIA SIGN THE TREATY OF WORMS.
They swallowed the bait.
1788: THE PHILADELPHIA CONVENTION SETS THE DATE FOR THE FIRST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IN THE US.
It's all downhill from here.
1814: DURING THE BATTLE WHERE THE BRITISH FAIL TO CAPTURE BALTIMORE, FRANCIS SCOTT KEY COMPOSES HIS POEM WHICH WOULD LATER BECOME THE COUNTRY'S NATIONAL ANTHEM.
Play ball!
1848: VERMONT RAILROAD WALKER PHINEAS GAGE SURVIVES AN IRON ROD 1 1/4 INCHES IN DIAMETER BEING DRIVEN THROUGH HIS BRAIN.
Just for funsies.
1862: AMERICAN CIVIL WAR - UNION SOLDIERS FIND A COPY OF ROBERT E. LEE'S BATTLE PLANS IN A FIELD OUTSIDE FREDERICK, MARYLAND.
Written on the back of a Denny's menu.
1899: HENRY BLISS IS THE FIRST PERSON IN THE US TO BE KILLED IN AN AUTOMOBILE ACCIDENT.
And he won't be the last.
1903: ACTRESS CLAUDETTE COLBERT IS BORN.
It Happened One Day in 1903.
1908: ACTRESS MAE QUESTEL IS BORN.
Not only the voice of Betty Boop, but Olive Oyl as well.
1914: WORLD WAR I - THE BATTLE OF AISNE BEGINS BETWEEN GERMANY AND FRANCE.
Don't tell me. France lost?
1918: MUSICIAN RAY CHARLES IS BORN.
Remember what you saw the first seven years.
1925: SINGER MEL TORME IS BORN.
I hear this guy was a real shithead.
1931: ACTRESS BARBARA BAIN IS BORN.
Married to Martin Landau for a while. Saw her once in the lobby of the Arclight Hollywood.
1948: MARGARET CHASE SMITH IS ELECTED US SENATOR AND BECOMES THE FIRST WOMAN TO SERVE IN BOTH THE HOUSE AND THE SENATE.
I suppose she's proud of that.
1948: ACTRESS NELL CARTER IS BORN.
Oh, gimme a break.
1953: NIKITA KHRUSHCHEV IS APPOINTED GENERAL SECRETARY OF THE COMMUNIST PART OF THE SOVIET UNION.
Florsheim is having a shoe sale.
1971: STATE POLICE AND NATIONAL GUARDSMEN STORM NEW YORK'S ATTICA PRISON TO QUELL A PRISON REVOLT.
Attica! Attica!! Attica!!!
1977: CONDUCTOR LEOPOLD STOKOWSKI DIES.
Can you imagine what the mortician said when he saw that hair?
1985: SUPER MARIO BROS IS RELEASED IN JAPAN FOR THE FIRST TIME.
I was not a video game fan. Just sayin'.
1993: ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER YITZHAK RABIN SHAKES HANDS WITH PLO CHAIRMAN YASSER ARAFAT AT THE WHITE HOUSE AFTER SIGNING THE OSLO ACCORDS GRANTING LIMITED PALESTINIAN AUTONOMY.
Anybody got some Purell?
1996: MUSICIAN TUPAC SHAKUR DIES.
Caput.
1998: POLITICIAN GEORGE WALLACE DIES.
At last.
2006: TEXAS GOVERNOR ANN RICHARDS DIES.
I met her when she did a cameo on Murphy Brown. I actually had to wake her up from a nap during rehearsal.
2019: ROCK STAR EDDIE MONEY DIES.
No longer current-cy.
Dinner last night: The pregame buffet at the Dodger Stadium Club.
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