Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day in Boston

Off my mind and onto yours...

---That's John Travolta in the photo above as he will appear in the screen version of "Hairspray."

---Obviously his dream role in more ways than one. The first drag Scientologist. Now we know what the "L" stands for in L. Ron Hubbard.

---Actually, he's better looking than Rosie.

---These lunatics set up shop on Hollywood Boulevard and offer free stress tests to all the yokels visiting Los Angeles from Nebraska. And they're gullible for anything free. It's like they're working around their local mall courts and they're given toothpicks of food samples from Panda Express. Washing their brains is something akin to laser surgery.

---Kool-Aid. 25 Cents Per Glass.

---The only one who showed any momentary guts against this savage cult was Brooke Shields, who blasted that peabrain Tom Cruise after he condemned her clinical attempts to get over postpartum depression.

---But the flying donkey didn't stay up long. As soon as Brooke got the invite to Tom and Katie's Italian lovefest, she packed her bags and made a mad dash for the cheese puffs on the buffet table.

---John Travolta talks about how his son's condition is coming along nicely as a result of his belief in Scientology.

---The kid is autistic. That doesn't clear up like a sinus infection.

---Have you ever seen one of these celebrity Scientologists actually crack open a Bible?

---ABC's idea for Friday night summer entertainment? National Bingo Night.

---Who the heck is going to watch this besides 90-year-old Catholic widows?

---Not to be outdone, CBS should institute Mah Johng Night. Live from Clearwater, Florida. With your host Jackie Mason.

---Melinda Doolittle Geek that I am, I recorded her appearance the other day on "Live with Regis and Airhead."

---Hmmm. When Regis was having his bypass surgery, there must have been another specialist also in the OR. The tightness in the chest has now been replaced by some tightness around the eyes.

---Domestic airlines are flying at a peak 80% capacity. Insiders are predicting that the delays this summer will be monstrous. And this is all being done with a downsizing of airline personnel.

---And most passengers on board will not be wearing shoes and socks.

---Dodger pitcher Chad Billingsley is the new Aaron Heilman. He's so darn good out of the bullpen that they never want to start him. But that's what he should be doing. Now, you worry if that will mess with his head the way it did with the Mets' Heilman.

---They're now called the Noo Jork Mezz. It's a matter of time before there are chickens walking around the concourses of Shea Stadium.

---The Regal Cinemas chain has a new gimmick. They will pre-select about ten patrons per show and hand them a device that is connected to the manager's office. If there is anybody misbheaving in the theater, you can hit this gizmo and the manager will come immediately.

---Hopefully with a loaded weapon.

---Seriously, where do I send my check? I want one of these suckers.

---With a tazer attached.

---Movie theaters provide one more example of how the dummies in the general public overstay their welcome. Everybody has this entitlement that, wherever they may be, it is simply an extension of their living rooms.

---So, don't look at me funny when I tell you to shut the hell up.

---And can we also end that stupid game we are forced to play at the concession stand?

---"You can get a large soda for a quarter more."

---Gee, thank you for the great lesson in economics, Mr. Theater Owner. But, I am totally capable to understand what I want to buy.

---Besides, the small size already features a 400% mark-up, so this quarter more thing is not exactly like a 401K program.

---Is there no end to the way we are pummeled with stats from Major League Baseball? Whatever happened to watching a game?

---Let's hear what Nomar Garciaparra's lifetime batting average is on Pentecost.

---Or how David Wright hits when there are runners in scoring position that have less than two testicles.

---There was a great line in the paper the other day and it was attributed to some statistics professor.

---Statistics are like prisoners: Torture them long enough, and they'll tell you whatever you want to hear.

I'll always tell you what you want to hear.

Dinner last night: bacon mushroom burger at Islands.