Our First Castro-less Wednesday

Cigar, anybody?

---Good riddance to this old dirtbag who effectively invented for us the concept of the illegal alien.

---Along with the convertible sofa, which also gave rise to the dreaded overnight guest.

---Somebody needs to go stand in the middle of Miami and yell "Olly Olly Oxen Free."

---I feel bad for the guy in Havana who made a living by selling rubber rafts.

---And now, what will all the sharks eat between Florida and Cuba?

---Nothing will probably change as one of his relatives takes over.

---Would that be Fidel W. Castro?

---Can anybody actually picture President Ba-lack Osama actually sitting down with a world leader like Castro and negotiating peace?

---I wouldn't trust Obama Bin Laden to set up my next dental appointment.

---You have to love all those accusations of plagarism between Hillary and Obooboo. I knew a long time ago that neither one of them had an original thought.
---Don't you think it's a co-inky dink that Castro resigns just before they announce the next round of idiots to be on "Dancing With the Stars?"

---With the new roster of nobodys, you can now add their names to the official list of Hollywood hasbeens.

---And deaf actress Marlee Matlin is one of them.

---"Miss Matlin, the music has started. You may now begin dancing."

---Why does that show always have to include somebody with a physical affliction? Somebody with no hearing. Somebody missing a leg.

---And, in the case of Marie Osmond, somebody missing a brain.

---All that beef being recalled. At least, for once, it's not something we can blame on the Asians with all that excess lead they love to play with.

---A possible sign in front of McDonald's: "Over 3 Billion Tainted."

---Nancy Reagan fell and landed in the hospital. Did anybody else think that this might have been caused by a mishap with her cough syrup?

---Or by Gilbey's Gin?

---Maybe she slipped on some leftover oatmeal that Ronny once threw at her during the final days of his journey to Lululand.

---Now that lunatic Crocodile Hunter's 4-year-old son has been bitten by a baby boa constrictor. How many funerals does his asshole widow have to attend before she locks the cages for good?

---If I'm an animal with fangs, I can't wait to vacation in their backyard.

---We just marked the ten year anniversary of Cub broadcaster Harry Caray's death. And, coincidentally, the biggest single day drop in Budweiser stock.

---Chicago revered that old bastard who could mispronounce the name "Mel Ott."

---"Hello, Cub fans, here I am in hee-van."

---Equally hilarious this week was the opening of that big Dallas vault full of JFK assassination junk. Most of it was worthless, including that transcript of an alleged conversation between Oswald and Ruby.

---From the way they talked, the dialogue could have been between Bob and Ray.

---I'm waiting for "24" to go back in time so Jack Bauer can stop the assassination from happening. Then, Jack could divorce Jackie and marry Angie Dickinson.

Dinner last night: Szechwan chicken and noodles.